What would u do,if ur Mom asked if she could live w/u and your husband for a month in your 1 bedroom apt?

Ok, my Mother is 65, fairly energetic,and has always worked.

She's married to an alcoholic who doesn't work but gets disability because he can hardly walk due to a work injury YEARS ago.

The point IS, she has ALWAYS asked me for $ to borrow,which she always pays back.

She's a nurse. She did private duty for awhile, then her patient passed away way back in Feb. She chose not to work in a nursing home like previous yrs., "because she didn't like it."

She did PT work since Feb. but still chose NOT to work FT.

They've known for several months now they WANTED to move to another location. They "may" have this house to rent if it all goes through, this Wed. But by the end of Aug. they have to move from where they are now.

TODAY, after I lent her 200$ to get their vehicle repaired. She told me her husband {drunk of course} asked MY husband over the phone that my Mother needed a place to live for a month. {I guess her husband already has a place until they get their cash ready for this house}

Their original plans were to stay at a motel for a month.


I DON'T WANT HER HERE!! It's TINY in our apt. ---it will only stress my husband out!

Should I send her to a shelter?




what would u do???

4 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You mother's life is not your responsibility even tho she tries to guilt you into believing it is. You main concern now should be your new husband. Simply tell your Mom "no", sorry, not doable . You don't need to give a detailed explanation and don't let her browbeat you into changing your mind. As you said, it would stress out your husband and that is just not fair.

    You mother sticks with this loser and that is her choice. So back off, quit lending her money and let her take the responsibility for her life choices. Learn to distance yourself from her and her problems and especially from the bum she chooses to stay with.

    If your relatives are dysfuntional, your husband should not have to pay for this. Make them understand that from now on, your husband comes first in all things and you no longer want to be involved in their craziness. He will love you more for this. Your family is not your fault but it shouldn't be his problem either.

  • 1 decade ago

    She's 65 and technically, she's retired. She should be getting a social security check. She is also your mom. When my mom needed to stay with us (for more than a month), even though we lived in a studio apartment, we made room for her. It was tight, it was uncomfortable for everyone. But she got the point that she would not be able to stay longer then absolutely necessary (the problems she was having in her life she had to stop hiding from them and go deal with them). Let your mom stay with you but have her sleep on the sofa in the living room so she has no privacy, and she can't get too comfortable. Be civil and courteous but don't be too accommodating; and let your husband get stressed and react (within reason) so she can see exactly what her being there is doing to you. Make sure from the start that both she and her husband understand that this arrangement is only for month and no longer no matter what happens; after a month she will have to move to a shelter or a hotel so she'd better save her money.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Tell her you are sorry but you hardly have enough room for each other

    You could even look up the cheapest accommodation in the area for her online and giver her a list.

    You don't always have to say yes to mum, she is grown up now.And also think of all the times she said no to you when you were growing up things that were just not practical.

    Well this is just not practical so don't feel guilty.

    Also once you open the door you have 2 worries

    1.Before long HE will want to stay over too.


    2. A month could become two, could become a year and so on.

    Tell her to ditch the loser if you dare, she wouldn't need to borrow money if she had all her money to herself.

  • 1 decade ago

    Tell her firmly that its a small apartment and there really isn't room, you wish you could but you really can't.

    Don't let her walk over you, even if it makes you feel bad.

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