Am I still a virgin? I can add more detail...?

My boyfriend ( of almost two years! :)) and I don't want to go all the way because of christian lifestyle and desire to make our wedding night as magical as possible. But, we have, done, things... I have given him oral and I guess we have what the Forty Year Old Virgin referred to as "outercourse". But so far nothing required of a condom or for me to remove my pants. I ask because at Spirit West Coast, a christian music festival, they were selling shirts that said Virginity Rocks and I really wanted one and asked him if he would wear one with me, he said sure but thought we might be lying. Would it be lying?


Thanks to everyone, I didn't expect such a fast response but I guess I should have lol. Thank you to those of you with honest opinions. I think I will talk about it with a pastor. To a few though it was him originally that wanted to be virgins, I'm actually a new christian, before this I was agnostic and hated any religion, I know for the most part though the few who said I should be ashamed are not christian, but don't be silly if you are! Because judgement is a sin too. I feel that the majority is right and that it is up to my interpretation. I want to say virgin because doing what we are it's soooooo frickin' hard not to go farther that it's almost painful would make it so, but I know I am impure in the eyes of God, along with everyone else. I mostly wanted the shirt to show other young girls that it's not losing your virginity that they should look forward to but, keeping it. And that older virgins aren't all ugly and dorky but can be hot and pretty and popular, but thank you...

59 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    technically you are a virgin, but morally you arent.

    but you know what, dont Ruminate about it so much. Move on, but make sure you save your virginity till you're Married. Judging by your current lifestyle there is NO WAY you're gonna make it a Virgin. You're going to get bored of Oral Sex, and eventually one day, you'll end up slipping up and having sex. Its inevitable.

    So here's my advice (listen good)--Do Not put yourself in a Situation that causes Temptations. Dont touch the fruit, dont eat the fruit. You can still be with your bf as long as you refrain from any sexual activity (I know its easier said than done),trust me if you continue to have Oral, things will start to Escalate.

    stay strong and good luck.

    edit: One last thing, this is going to sound hard, but I think you should leave your bf. He's CLEARLY not committed to staying a virgin, so its inevitable that he'll try to have sex with you eventually. Staying a virgin until marraige requires A LOT of Faith. If he's not committed, he'll ruin it for the both of you.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    There is nothing wrong with experimenting and you are still a virgin. You are only not a virgin when a man enters you with his penis, "popping" the cherry. That basically defines your virginity physically. How do you feel emotionally? Do you feel like you are still a virgin? If you feel you are not then don't by the shirt so you don't cause your self even more guilt, but if you feel like you are buy one. If you bought one and told me that you had fooled around but haven't had sex i would think you are a virgin! Just a curious teenager and there is nothing wrong with that at all. In my opinion you are, and I'm sure you are in a lot of others people opinion. I think you should get the shirt :) You love him, and been with him for a long time, of course your going to try a few things! Good for you girl, i don't have your kind of restraint. Keep it up! and I hope the best for you to, you are for sure a virgin and i'm sure when you get married it will be a great night! You can finally give yourself to him then :)

  • 1 decade ago

    In Biblical times, virginity was a woman who had not had a child.

    These days, there are a few interpretations. Virginity as seen by God and the Church would probably be defined as not having had oral sex, anal sex, foreplay, masturbation or penetrative intercourse. Pretty well nothing more than kissing -I am not completely up to date with the current church views though.

    The way a lot of people interpret it, and it would seem that you and your boyfriend are of this opinion, is not having had penetrative sex. This is more the medical and scientifical view -If your hymen is still in tact, you are a vrigin. There is no real way of telling medically if a man is a virgin, other than perhaps a test for sexually transmitted infections. This may be part of the reason why, up until recently, men having sex before marriage hasnt been such an issue as it has been for women. Religion seems to focus on women abstaining from sex.

    On a side note, the younger you are when you first have sex, the more at risk you are said to be of cervical cancer. This is something to take into account if you are still very young. It doesnt mean that you will get cervical cancer, but you may be at an increased risk, so make sure you get regular pap tests to test for abnormal cells. You should be having a pap test every 2 years from age 21 onward anyway, sexually active or not, and younger if you are having sex before then. Also take care when you do start having sex, to avoid sexually transmitted diseases and infections :)

    If as you say, you are saving yourselves for your wedding night, to make it as magical as it can be, I would have saved the oral sex and the foreplay for then too. It is strictly a matter of opinion though, and as long as you are happy, all is well in this regard. You are a virgin by scientifical measures. If you regret having oral sex, you should perhaps consider confession and do it no more until your wedding night, and consider yourself a vrigin. If you are happy to continue as you have been, you should consider yourself a virgin too. Your boyfriend would also be a virgin if he had experienced oral sex but not penetrative sex too. Penetrative sex is a different experience to oral sex. It has the ability to produce a child, it is a totally different sensation, especially for the woman.

    I was raised a Catholic but I no longer hold those beliefs. I believe that there is a possibility of a greater being out there somewhere, but that the bible is too out dated for this day and age. A lot of the moral and ethical points are still valid however. I believe that what goes around comes around and that we should let other people be, not judge them. That we should go about our own lives, being as good as we can to other people, ourselves, and the world.

    ie. my husband and I didnt actually have sex on our wedding night. we had 2 month old baby at the time and all we wanted to do was sleep! Our wedding night was a great night though, and i felt as close to my man as ever on that day.

    So take into account what I have said, but make up your own mind as to what you believe.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    The fact is virginity means different things do different people. Some people think it's the act of sex others just refer it to sexuality as a whole. Even people who have had sex can choose to become "born again virgins", right? Also the shirt said virginity rocks, not I'm a virgin... so it sounds more like your boyfriend thinks it's lying because he doesn't think virginity rocks, then again I don't know your boyfriend either. If you want the t-shirt go and buy it. Personally I don't like screaming out whether I'm a virgin or not because I don't think it's anyone's ******* business, but do what you'd like

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    That is like the hardest question to answer.

    Because, in the bible God never states what he considers "sex".

    For all we know, he could think making out is too far to go until after marriage.


    Soooooo you have a big problem. Maybe you could talk to a leader at church or something. And if you don't want to do that in person just e-mail the person lol =]

    But, what I think is that if you feel like you have disobeyed God in any way then it is a sin,and if you think that oral sex made you lose your virginity, you have sinned, but if you ask him to forgive you for the things you did with your boyfriend, then God will make you a virgin again =]

  • 1 decade ago

    You have a great christian lifestyle and you're such moral, upstanding kids, waiting to get intimate until marriage. Yet you put his cock in your mouth because your parents would approve, raising you to be religious and abstinent. You sucked, licking up and down and getting him to come all over you. You squirm around on top of each other, and he rubs his erection all over you, while you get all hot and wet, but it's OK--you've got some clothes on. You get those shirts, girl, since as long as you're rocking virginity by technicality alone, you can hold your head high around the less fortunate. After all, you only sucked his cock, so Jesus still loves you.

  • 1 decade ago

    Aw, two years, good for you!

    Uhh, let's see. Technically he did not stick his little buddy in your hoo-ha, so technically it's not sex... but oral sex is a part of sex.... it sounds weird, but you could be half a virgin? Well, actually if he's done nothing to you, you're fine. Maybe he's the half-virgin.

    It depends on what your opinion of sex is, since oral sex does have the word sex in it, and you doing it means, well, you did it.

    I don't know, I think you're still a virgin. Depends on your opinion.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    NO! It wouldn't be lying. Obvi you know what sex is. Meaning that if you had oral sex you didn't actually do "the dirty dirty". Technically your still a virgin because" his hot dog has not yet entered the bun" hah! I just came up with that now!

    I'm christian too, and me and my boyfriend have only done oral.


    Source(s): Me be taty
  • 1 decade ago

    A fine line, but most of Christianity considers any sexual act to be breaking it. While being a virgin you still are by medical standards, most pastors would not. Sorry to say.

  • ?
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    You're still considered a virgin,but at the same time,if you're giving him oral and doing other sexual stuff,you're obviously wanting something MORE.I'm not trying to be rude,just honest,but I think you two would be lying to yourselves and God if you got that shirt.

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