Can I have your opinion?

Question

The temperture's rising.

I know that you knew.

Because I could feel

Your sence burning through.

Most will call this love,

But we move at our pace.

We will doubt all we want,

But you still make my heart race.

You know what your smile

Does to my mind.

You know all my weaknesses.

None left to find.

Come take me away.

You know my desire.

Yet you leave me alone

To burn in your fire.

The way that you light "it"

'Till impossible to tame.

"It's" waiting for you

To finally put out the flame.

For now is not always.

We won't wait forever.

When the heat's finished rising

We'll melt in this together.

-Jayna Elsie Harford♥

"it" is heart

Answer 1

Favorite Answer

Unambiguous love poem. It's good. If you presented it to the object of the poem, s/he would either be turned on or frightened, but I think it would be impossible not to have some kind of emotional response. I really liked the third stanza.

I wonder about the spelling of sense (sence) in line three? Is there a double meaning (like "innocence" or "incense" or some kind of drug reference?), or is it just a misspelling?

Answer 2

Its a nice poem for me keep up the good work.

Answer 3

the poem's really. . . i'm at a lost for words, i love it. its really is beautiful.

Answer 4

i think it is really good

u have a really good talent

Answer 5

keep writing!

http://writinghood.com/style/how-to/write-better-m...

Answer 6

im speechless...you are good...keep it up!