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Joanne asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

修改英文作文

Third, a childhood friend who grew up and share many things with you. For example, my friend ,Amy, and I played together when we were children. She is one of my playmates. We have many happy memory.Though she has moved away. It is simple and happy that I think about our friendship.

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  • 1 decade ago
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    I assume that you are writing an essay about relationship and this is the part you are defining the third types of “good” relationships. With this in mind, the following are my suggestions for your considerations:

    Thirdly, always keep in touch with a childhood friend who grew up and shared many things with you.

    Note: I added “always keep … with” to make it a sentence. Otherwise, it was fragmented and incomplete.

    For example, my friend, Amy, and I played together when we were children. She was one of my closest playmates in school as well as at home.

    Note: I added “closest” and “in school as well as at home” to make the second sentence different from the first. Without the additions, they are same and repetitions.

    We shared many happy memories and remains good friends even after she moved away.

    Note: I added “and remains…” to make her moved away relevant. Otherwise, the “moved away” sentence was a lone sentence and seemed irrelevant.

    It is the relationship of this type I would consider healthy for it is always pleasant and simple to maintain.

    Note: I almost rewrote this sentence to match how you started this paragraph and then conclude it.

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