What do you think about me(gay) and my relationship with a girl?

Alright, so i answered a question earlier and it got me thinking, i identify as a gay male, yet, i date a girl, she is the same girl i have been dating her for a while now. I am 17, she is 18. I love her a lot, and she is the only girl i have ever had romantic feelings for. The odd thing is, is that i am gay, ialways look at guys, and i get off on guys as well. I like being gay, and i don'treally have issues with it. people always ask me why i am still dating my girlfriend and i just tell them it is because i actually do love her, i mean who am i to put down love? My GF knows i am gay we have talked about it a lot, she is pretty ok with it, though i have stepped over the lines a few times in our relationship obsessing about other guys and what not. I just wanted to know how the community feels about this, is it normal (i don't think so)? Is this wrong? should i be calling myself bi, or what? I have been with a few girls, mostly because of being blatantly accused of being gay. This was the reason 20 months ago that i started dating this girl, but in truth i fell in love. So tell me what you guys and girls thing about this XD


well thanks everybody, it was interesting what you had to say, and continue to say. in truth i will never probably identify as bi, because this whole girlfriend business just happened, and it was unexpected, but i will accept that love is love no matter who it is with. but when it comes down to it, i am attracted to guys which makes me gay, i don't have feelings or urges for girls, other than 1 single female out of millions if you flip a coin 1-million times and it lands on heads once t doesn't really affect the tally

31 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I'm a personal believer that, when it comes down to it, love is gender-blind.

    Yeah, I'm a lesbian. Girls are what do it for me. But if I ever fell in love with a man (or anybody of any gender presentation), I would want to be with them. Sometimes, your heart can rule over your head (or your d*ck).

    I don't think it's normal, but honestly, I don't think there is anything wrong with it. Your relationship works for the two of you and that's all that matters. Why label yourself? You fell in love with a person. And that's that.

    Just enjoy your relationship and don't worry about what the community thinks.

  • Dorene
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    What is to be questioned is the means of allowing these girls to build their self-esteem, overcome their insecurities and form supportive relationship. Can or could someone be the pioneer. I have seen you Tyra do it on your first show (the girls camp you started in the States) I viewed in Malaysia. Even though it was delayed by months I was enthralled by the possibility of being able to help the girls you intended through your own way. And I'll say it again: "What are the means available for some communities to help these girls?" We are all born with a purpose in this world, talents, ideas, strengths and weaknesses. The media does terrible damage to young impressionable minds. However, I have noticed recently that there are more ads and more idols being marketed that are not the supermodel thin type. Which is a good start but we need even more diversity in that aspect. The problem with the media is that they don't let people see the reality only the finished product .. these so called models have flaws just like everyone.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well it appears that you're a guy that is REALLY confused. If you were truly gay, you would not have love feelings for this girl. And I don't believe that BI exists. You're gay or your straight.

    I think you may be straight but for some reason you have decided somewhere down the line you may be gay and for what reason, I do not know.

    I know my gay guy friends are gay bc they're gay. Girls and romantic love for them does not happen with them.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think this is just weird, but I'm not saying it's not cool. Maybe she's the one girl you'll ever love, so calling yourself bi wouldn't really be necessary. According to people who answered my questions, gay and bi are just labels anyway, so it shouldn't matter. But I say it's cool, as long as you don't plan on hurting her for a guy. I do wonder how much of a future your relationship holds, not that I don't have faith in you two, but I'm curious as to how you look at it. & kudos to her for not letting that knowledge bother her lol

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  • 1 decade ago

    I don't think that is abnormal. I think it's really good that you have been open with your girlfriend about this. I don't have experience feeling this way personally, but I had a boyfriend who dated me for 2 years without telling me he was gay. I eventually found out because he had cheated on me with guys. He said he couldn't help it because he was attracted to men and not women....yet he still felt this need to have a girlfriend...I don't know that it was love in his case, but he was really sad to see me go. He said he had this need to be emotionally close to a woman, even though he was sexually into men. I don't know why or how that worked in his mind. I don't know if that's truly how he felt, or if he was just didnt know how to have deeper relationships with men, so he looked towards women for everything else beyond sex. Either way, I know that he wasnt able to easily be just gay or just straight, but he definitely was not bi because he preferred sex with men... I think everyone is just different and that by examining themselves and their own motivations they can eventually figure out what they want and how to make themselves happy.

    So anyways, I think that it is really good that you are open with your girlfriend and that you are putting thought into what you are doing.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    ok for all those claiming that you are bisexual here is the definition:

    Bisexuality refers to SEXUAL behavior with or PHYSICAL attraction to people of both genders (male and female).

    so from what you have said and what i understand you are not bisexual.

    As for your situation at hand, while i don't think that it is something that is considered "normal" as long as the both of you are happy i don't see the harm in it. Having said that, just because you love someone to death doesn't mean that you have to or should be with them.

    If you idenitify/consider yourself as being gay, and constantly look at guys i dont think that it is fare on you or her to be in the relationship. Would you want to be with a lesbian? knowing that she was not attracted to you? or anything else like that?

    but thats just my opinion

    best of luck

    Source(s): en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexuality
  • 1 decade ago

    WOW........ I don't really know what to say maybe u just got lucky and found that one girl that drives u crazy.......I'm gay and something like this happened to me...there's this girl in my science class that I just can never stop thinking about but I know I'm gay and I know for sure I'm not bi but hey she turns me on in a weird kinda way but when it comes down to it I would choose a guy everytime LOL

    Source(s): Me
  • 1 decade ago

    i was in a relationship with a gay guy and it didnt work out. his situation was very similar to yours and the biggest reason we didnt work out was because he was obsessing over guys i cudnt trust him and i guess i relize now he probly felt he wasnt gettin everything he wanted with me with him being a gay guy he must have feel that he was missing out on something.

    all im saying is if you truley love the girl more the just a friend and you do have a romantic as well as a physical attraction and you feel she is everything you would possibleably need, stay with her.

    but, if you find your self second guess yourself or the relationship leave before you break her heart and its too late and you relationship as well as you friendship is distroyed.

    Source(s): ive been there, got my heart broken... but id do it all again.
  • 1 decade ago

    I think you really, really, really need to watch the British miniseries "Bob & Rose" . . . it's all about a gay man (NOT bisexual) who falls in love with a woman- and it was actually based on the experience of the writer's friend who got hassled by all his gay friends (FYI: said gay fella and his girl are still together as far as I know).


    Is it normal? Perfectly normal, although quite rare. Is it wrong? Not at all- so long as she knows the score, it's good. And should you call yourself bi? That's up to you. Personally, I use "bisexual" to refer to those people who feel attraction to men and women- not men and woman.

  • 1 decade ago

    I am a girl and I'm also in that situation. I've talked to my boyfriend about it and he says he's okay with that as long as I am truthful to him. He then helped me realize that it's not about calling yourself gay, straight or bi, it's about feeling good with yourself. You don't need labels.

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