? asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

How do i tell my 10 yr old son i hate him?

hey im a father of 2 i have 2 boys... 1 is a successful 20 yr old who is on his way to college and my other son is 10 and sometimes i wish he'll just get hit by a bus or something really itll be better for everyone in the world i jsut cant deal with him anymore... i cant stand him anymore... he dresses in all black thinks the devil possesses him... pees in public... shot the mailman with a paintball gun tried having sex with a girl in school breaks cars windows claims he sees the devil daily he's sick in the head.. he's nothing but trouble and even caused his mother to leave us and im stuck with the little shyt now... i had it up to here with him and dunno what to do im about to just give him money and let him live in a hotel or something- i giveup with him i just hate him and everything about him and gonna tell him but just dont know how and looking for advice

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  • Favorite Answer

    oh, hector, you sly dog.

  • 1 decade ago

    Sounds to me like you are at the end of your rope with this kid and the fact that you wish you could tell him that you hate him sounds like you have lost all hope . I don't think you are a horrible dad just one that's not coping too well. Its up to you to change the situation First off don't tell him that you hate him ,tell him you are disappointed and it is coming to an end . Seek counselling for both of you , start using some discipline and stick to it . Sit him down and explain to him the things that you expect . Don't put up with any of his rubbish and inform him right from the start that there will be consequences to his actions , cut off his money , lunch orders , after school activities and the rest . Give him responsibilities in the house and make sure he does them. But you need to do some changing too and reward him for good behaviour .if you see the bad starting to creep back in come down hard. Don't forget that he is ten so there is time and room for improvement . You are the adult here and its not going to be easy but if you stick to it things will get better . Put yourself in his shoes and go back to when you were ten how would you feel if your mum had left and your dad disliked you (kids are very good at reading the unsaid ) . I hate to say it because i have read what others have wrote and think you have had a good flogging but you and his mother have really dropped the ball here, start changing that around . I wish you both luck and hope that you two can rebuild a beautiful father son relationship.

  • 1 decade ago

    I don't think you should tell him that you hate him, that's just..I don't know. If he loves you as a father, you know you don't want to hurt his feelings. 10 years olds are UGH. But wait until he's in High School or a Teenager. Maybe he'll find out that he's too immture himself while learning. But maybe your son hasn't learn anything like what NOT to do and WHAT to do. You know?

    You should ground him for those stuff. And take his paintball gun AWAY from him. Like sell it or do something with it! Tried to have sex with a girl...? How do you know? Uh, that's a tough one. Tell him about STDs, protection, babies, too legal to do it, too young. If he doesn't listen to you, I'll wait and prove him wrong. :3 Clothes, you can throw away some of his black clothes and buy him a new ones. I mean, the ones that are not black. 'Thinks the devil posseses him', take him to the church. Maybe often so he'll get over it. Pees in public, ahh, I'm a girl so I don't know about that part! Haha.

    Or maybe you can send him to the Military School. That will straight him out.

    Hope I help.

  • 1 decade ago

    Have you ever spanked him when he was little. Sometimes no matter what you do it doesnt help. Dont play up the negative right now. He needs to know you love him and its okay to be different or dress different. You might not like what he wears but pick your battles carefully. Is there some type of creative outlet for him. Does he like to do sketches buy him an easil and paint and say take it out on the canvas you may become famous for it. You get my drift. Lay down some rules that arent to strict at first and tell him if he can keep these simple rules then he can dress and do his hair how he wants. Sometimes kids are angry because they cannot express themselves. He needs you to help him with this. I may be wrong but at this point you dont have anything to lose so try it.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Your sons behaviour is a direct result of how he was brought up. You clearly let him get away with murder and now he thinks it is ok to do what he wants.

    Do you ever punish him? Or does the 'I hate you!'s and screaming in his room annoy you too much?

    You are the parent,you need to give him rules, if he breaks the rules then there has to be consequences, and by that I do not mean hit him,that solves nothing. Take away his toys/ his computers/whatever is most important to him, refuse to give it back until he has calmed down,apologised and learnt. Don't shout in his face and tell you hate him, cos think how you would react if somebody did that to you...

    I could carry on all day but if you reeeeeally hate him, you need to either do as suggested,go to family counseling or there is of course, the last option of social services.

  • 1 decade ago

    Your a horrible father. He is your son, no matter what, you brought him into the world and raised him. He may be going through a faze and I hope you get hit by the bus. No matter he is a little strange, but he is less messed up than a father who would say this about their 10 YEAR OLD CHILD!

  • 1 decade ago

    talk to someone, talk to him, be honest about it, but never tell him that you hate him. this will close any hope of you two reconciling. tell him that you can't understand him, but you wish that you could. he'll whine and complain and threaten to do all sorts of things, but just be persistent. i am sure he knows that you are ashamed, mad, upset, confused about, at, and with him, this probably doesn't help the matter. first you need to figure out that father/son love is supposed to be unconditional, once you know start showing it, once he gets that you will love him even in his utter weirdness you two can start to along again.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    your being very negative about this, don't tell him you hate him, hate is a very strong word and having a parent saying this to a child is a very powerful thing, in a bad way.

    i suggest you speak to him, tell him how much it's hurting you rather then getting into arguements about it.

    He's clearly having some sorts of problems and with his mother not around, you need to be that person thats speaks to him.

    maybe get his older brother to talk to him.

    Counselling is also good, get someone he can relate to talk to him on your behalf.

    i hope it works out for you.

  • 1 decade ago

    hey.. i'm a sixteen year old. who went through the same thing like a year ago. its just a phase some kids go through. if my parents ever told me that they hated me i would probably kill myself.. my advise to you is just try to communicate with him as much as possible if he says leave him alone. give him some time. and try again.. do fatherly stuff with him and make him feel welcomed with you. if you don't tell him enough that you love him or try to bond with him hes gonna do WAY worse.. he'll probably start smoking pot and going to parties sneaking out. just whatever you do don't tell him you hate him. its not his fault your wife left you.. its not your fault either.. some marriages or relationships just don't work out. if he does anything out of line BE A PARENT ground him for goodness sake. make an arrangement with the jail.. i don't know.. just don't make him feel like hes unwanted. he'll straighten out.

    Source(s): my life
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Seek a professional counseller ? U shuldn't hate him bcos he is just 10 n he is ur own sonl. I no how u feel .. Bt is it bcos about some incident ? Show him some care .. Is it bcos of smtink ur wife or u did before ? U shuld talk 2 him. Ask him how he feels bout u n wat hpn in schl all thse.

    Gd luck ! :D

    Lynn.

    Hope ur btr :)

  • 1 decade ago

    its your total fault that he's "sick in the head"

    how would you feel if your father wished you got hit by a bus.

    you are a HORRIBLE father, why don't you get hit by a bus

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