Question about how I handle relationships and commitment?

I think I may have a bit of a fear of commitment.

Either that or I have a serious addiction to "the chase."

See, every time I become interested in someone, I get all excited, like most people. You know, that feeling you get when you find someone new who tickles your fancy and they give you butterflies. But the second it starts to get serious I feel all antsy and uncomfortable and almost ... cornered, I guess. I feel all obligated and suddenly I don't want it anymore.

But the thing is, I really do want to fall in love. And it's just strange because I'll be really, really into the person up until they start making it easy. Then I suddenly want to back out of it and then when I do back out of it, I regret it. But it's like I don't get relief until I cut the line. I've been in serious relationships before, but this always seems to happen whether they're long term or not.

I was absolutely in love with this girl I dated last year, but it ended up not working, and she's been the only person so far that this commitment deal hasn't happened with. It's really frustrating because I want to get serious with someone, but I just CAN'T. I don't know how else to explain it.

I currently have a girlfriend and I can feel this starting to creep up on me. I just feel like if I break up with her that I'm going to regret it, but I'm not comfortable.

Help? :/

4 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    im just gunna sit here and read everyones answers cause im pretty much the same.

    Source(s): maybe we're mini shanes lol
  • 1 decade ago

    Seems pretty normal to me, you want somebody you can always be exited about, somebody you won't lose interest in. Maybe the "right" girl just has not come along yet. People always feel lonely and want to be in true love as soon as possible, so they try to force themselves to be with people that they are not really into to make themselves (temporarily) feel normal and excited about being with someone. that feeling that is creeping up on you is your heart saying, "hey! girl this is not the right person for you. break it off for now and keep trying till we get that keeper, ok?" so just listen to your heart, when you find that special someone the feeling will be absent, that is true love, somebody who you never lose interest in.

  • You remind me of my girlfriend, especially in the beginning. She pushed me away because she was afraid of being close to me and afraid of me "knowing her" too well. Well, I was the one being rejected, so I stood my ground and waited almost 3 months for her to figure out what she wanted.

    I'm not exactly sure how to 'help' you, you're going to have to figure it out yourself. Do you get bored when the honeymoon stage is over? I think you maybe need to talk to a counselor about your commitment issues. That's what my girlfriend had to do, and it worked for her.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Simple your not ready

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