how do i deal with a needy newborn?

They say you can't spoil a newborn but my 2 1/2 week old seems to need Constant physical attention. I love him to death but I can't get anything done. I can't eat, sleep, shower, clean, leave the house... I'm a prisoner! lol.

He was going through a comfort feeding phase. I am breast feeding and bottle feeding and sometimes I swear he just wants to eat so that he can be held. He does what hubby and I call, "The hungry dance" where he kicks and punches, wiggles, roots, wines, and moves his head around with his mouth open. lol. He started doing this every 45 minutes to a half hour yet we know he's sometimes eating about 3+oz.

Now, I can't even put him down to sleep! He fusses all day and fights falling asleep until I pick him up and snuggle him. I know I shouldn't do this but if I don't he cries so hard he chokes and coughs. I feel horrible to let a newborn "cry it out". I just can't do it.

Does anyone have any tips, suggestions? please help? :(


I know, I have the CIO method. All of the grandparents and Aunts told me I HAVE to do this to keep my sanity but I feel like it traumatizes him. I can't let him cry for more than a minute without picking him up. It's too heart wrenching. My poor little pumpkin. :(

Update 2:

I've tried laying him in the swing, crib, couch, bed, floor.

He just wants to be snuggled up on my chest, laying on his belly, in fetal position.

Update 3:

I meant, *Hate* not "have".

16 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    He's only 2 1/2 weeks old, of course he's going to want to be held constantly. It's normal. You can't spoil him at this age, not even one bit, so get that thought out of your head. You need to meet ALL his needs including emotional. Keep in mind that he's only been outside in this big world for 2 weeks, it's going to take some adjusting on his part. For the time being, hold him and comfort him. He NEEDS it.

    Feed on demand, it's normal for a newborn to want to eat every 30 minutes to every 3 hours. He'll start stretching his times out when he's older, it will happen but you have to go with the flow for now!

    And please, do not let him CIO at this age. It's fine if you need to step away for a few minutes to clear your head but purposefully letting him cry at this age is pointless and mean. He doesn't understand what you're trying to do and he's way too young for it.

    If you need to, ask a family member or friend to swing by for a few hours and help out. Or have them take your son out for a walk so you can some housework done or take a nap. Sometimes he WILL have to fuss if you need to do something like eat, but it will get easier.

  • BanMa
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Your right, letting him cry it out is definately not a good idea. Firstly, I suggest getting a sling or wrap so you can carry him around and do your housework. At night, maybe you can try co-sleeping (get one of those little beds so it is safer and no one rolls on him!) He just wants to be close to his parents. When babies are born they want to be reminded of inside the womb. Swaddling, introducing a nook, and some white noise should definately make him feel more compfortable. I would try wrapping him up tightly in a blankie and holding a nook in his mouth (the soothies work great). Rock him to sleep. Have a fan in the background. He will learn soon to be more independent but for now you NEED to hold him :) This will be the only thing that comforts him.

  • 1 decade ago

    Needy Neborn? What did you become a parent for? All infants are needy..whether their 2 Weeks or not. My son is7 Weeks and wants to b held all the time. Hold him all the time while you can, because they grow up sooooooo fast. If he's crying get it...don't let him"cry it out". His abdominal muscles aren't that developed and this will cause a hernia. Household chores come last...tend to your child first. Holding your baby only establishes a bond between the both of you.

    Also you should hav expected to become a prisoner when you got pregnant. Also I doubt your newborn thinks in his mind...if he acts like he's hungry he will be held...he's 2 weeks old. I'm not trying to come down on you, but yoy have to be a little more patient now, because children period require all of your attention. This will never have your whole life to deal with this child.

  • 1 decade ago

    You never neglect your newborn by CIO.

    Hes acting like a normal newborn. Get a sling and do hat you need to do. You can even nurse in a sling. This is what you signed up for. This is what being a mommy is all about. Eating freq. is normal. He is regulating your milk supply and growing constantly. Feed him on demand.

    " I know I shouldn't do this but if I don't he cries so hard he chokes and coughs."

    Why the heck not. He just left your womb two weeks ago. Snuggle him as much as he needs. I still snuggle my almost one year old when she needs it.

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  • 1 decade ago

    A "needy newborn". Seriously? ;-) He is not even 3 weeks old yet! LOL. Give yourself a break - don't worry about cleaning and that kind of stuff right now. Its not that important right now. And give him a break - he is just a tiny little guy and does not yet have the skills to settle himself down.

    Sleep when he sleeps. Have hubby or someone else either run errands for you, or watch the baby for you while you go out to run errands. I would not even consider a cry it out trial until he is at least 3-4 months old. Even then I don't really like it myself, but at least then he has a chance at being able to settle himself down a little. Things will get easier as he gets a little older. Then he will start crawling/walking and it gets hard all over again! But its all worth it :-)

  • 7 years ago

    This is exactly how I feel right now. The first two weeks he let me lay him down now he won't have it. And my son over eats like crazy too, but I think its more so cause hes a over sucker so the pacifier really helps. And the lil dance your talking about could be gas, my grandma saw my newborn doing that and said oh hes gassy, probably since we're having to feed so much, but I just try to burp him a llllot, even half way through his bottle. Breast fed babies get more gassy especially if what your eating is gas causing foods avoid greens, brocoli, beans. I know all this and am still going crazy but I just keep thinking I know it'll get better in a month or so.

  • Wendy
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Wear him!! Newborns are not needy per say lol you are their caregiver you fulfill all of their needs that is all they know he just wants to be with you, he hass only been in this world 2 weeks get a carrier and keep him close all the time..

    Try swaddling him also, don't let him CIO..

  • 1 decade ago

    newborns are needy.. it won't be like that forever. Try getting a sling to carry the baby in. Just think, it was attatched and inside of you for 9 months, and suddenly you want to be seperate from it.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Hes only 2 1/2 weeks. This is pretty normal. I agree with PP get a sling or something if you cant handle it

  • Momof2
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Twins+1 obviously must think that she's super mom or something. I'm sorry but having to hold your baby 24/7 is ridiculous and not realistic. You need to get other things done, especially if you have other kids. Anyway, you can try using a sling or maybe try a baby swing, my newborn son loves his.

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