Should I trust my boyfriend?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 7 months or so. In that span of time I have told him that it makes me feel uncomfortable when he talks to his ex-girlfriends. I have caught him calling, texting and emailing two of them since March. I explained that it made me feel uncomfortable and that I would like him to stop and he said he would. Then about a week ago, I saw that he had been texting one of the girlfriends he had previously dated for five years. I asked him about it and he said that the number he texted was just a friend of his. I didn't believe him so i called the number and Sally (not her real name) his ex answered. I love him and he's asked me to move in with him and says he wants to marry me, but I can't get passed the fact that he's lied to me so often and it seems, without any remorse. He promised me that he won't talk to his exes anymore and he has blocked their numbers, but is still friends with them on facebook. I don't know what to think or do. We are fighting all the time about it and he says that it's my problem because I just need to get over my insecurities. HELP!
can i just say that he does not want me communicating with my exes either. It's not me putting this rule onto him. When we first started dating I was fine with it, but as time went on and he started asking me to not hang out with my guy friends or talk to ex boyfriends, I thought he should give me the same courtesy.
- Tao of SteveLv 41 decade agoFavorite Answer
You obviously don't trust your boyfriend, or you wouldn't ask this question. When you demand that he cease all communication with his exes, you put yourself in a bad position and cause him to lie. When you demand this, and he starts feeling like he must go behind your back and lie to you over something as innocent as a text message, you cause him to be much more likely to go behind your back again to cheat on you.
Really, there's nothing you can do to fix the situation at this point, you've already destroyed your relationship, but if you could go back in time, you should have never said anything, shown some trust in him them, shown some confidence, and he would have responded by liking/loving you more. If he dated that girl for five years, he probably considers her a pretty important figure in his life, so he would feel really bad about ignoring her altogether because you demand it. You're far too overprotective, and when he cheats on you it's going to be because you caused it. You're causing him to lie about stupid little things, which will make it easier for him to lie about big things (and commit big things in the first place).
I stay in contact with several of my ex-girlfriends, but have no intentions of ever dating them again. Because my current girlfriend and I have good communication and trust, I've illustrated to her real reasons why I am not interested. When they send a text message and my girlfriend is around, I tell her who sent it and even let her see it if she wants. I have nothing to hide because she trusts me.Source(s): experience
- hoehlLv 44 years ago
Some Indians keep attached with India. This seems like your boyfriend. Outlook isn't well. My historical guy was once from India. He ditched the India stuff at Ellis Island. He lived for booze, broads and cash - a real American. Loved a well steak, too. By the best way, marriage-sensible, he could not be depended on both, he'd lay any girl with a pulse
- demenon1Lv 61 decade ago
I think that you are not made for each other and it will probably not work out in the long run. While I think that you're overreacting, he should mind the fact that you're not okay with it and you probably cannot help it. In a relationship it's always important to accept the partner's wishes and not ignore them. It's especially important not to break promises (and not give promises that you can't keep).