A coworker made an extremely rude comment about me to a confidant. How should I deal?

He is known to be a loud mouth or a sh*t talker. He cornered my coworker/friend in the hallway and was hitting on her because she has lost around 100lbs, saying how good she looked and blah blah. Then he told her that she needed to rub off on me; that i was a Fata$$ and that I needed to loose weight.

I took that very personal because I am overweight and I have been working out and eating better (I've lost 8 lbs in 2 weeks). I just think it was over the line and he doesn't have a right to act like that.

To make matters worse, he has a toddler with Downs Syndrome. I dont see how he could pass superficial judgment on someone when his child will probably be picked on when he grows up! (you know how kids are)

I just dont know what I should do. He doesn't know that I know what he said about me. I dont know how I should act the next time he comes in our office, or what I should say to him.

12 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Honestly, it may make you feel better to call him out on it. If you do, make sure you do it IN FRONT of the person who told you this.

    I have to question what your co-worker/"friend" hoped to gain by telling you about his rude comment. Instead of telling you something that was bound to be hurtful to you, she should have just told him what a jerk he was to make that comment about you. I would never repeat something that rude and hurtful to a friend, instead I would defend him/her against the moron who would say something so stupid.

    If he DID actually say this about you and continues to act like a jerk, you could get down and dirty and say something as rude as "I may be a fata$$, but I am losing weight, your son will always have Down Syndrome, see how you feel when you have to deal with those rude comments. Again, that is really low, and I am not personally recommending it unless you really want to hit below the belt.

    Let this jerk's comment be a motivator to further your determination, when you are slim and svelte, he will wish he had been kinder, so he could hit on you - just deal with this situation as you decide to see fit and then don't give the idiot the time of day. Congratulations on your weight loss! Keep up the good work!

  • 1 decade ago

    It is hard to confront a person like this. He said something behind your back he would dare tell you to your face.

    At some point you may have an occasion to say in a friendly way and a confidential tone (yes, this will require an effort!) that you heard that he said something nasty about someone (NOT YOU, use another colleague) and that you are afraid this person has heard of it and that he should be careful that he might hurt reputation.

    If this does not work but you hear of him saying anything else on you or anyone else, I'd write it down (to help remember all instances) and then wait for a good opportunity to go to the Human Resources Dept. or to the boss if the company is small. If you have been horrified or there was a scene, I would go straight with that purpose in my mind. If not, better have other business with HR and then casually say: "By the way, has anyone complained yet about So-and-so?"

  • Friend
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Ignore it. Just think about what you said about his child. He will have to deal with his child being treated just like he treated you so basically Karma will take care of him. I hate to say that because his child doesn't deserve that but it will happen whether he is the nicest person ever or meanest person ever. When he starts going through this, he will hopefully learn not to treat others this way.

    You just keep on working on your weight and don't let ignorant people like that get in your way. Congratulations on your 8 pound weight loss!

  • It's quite upsetting especially if you were told by a friend but make no mistake of believing everything what was being said to you as this can be considered as hearsay rather than factual.

    I would ignore it if I were you and don't entertain your friends adding more wood on the fire because that would make you look stupid person mongering on little tid bits of non-sense. You know you're better than that.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Ask to speak to your manager privately. In an office with the door closed, tell the manager what occurred.

    They will deal with him. He is just the kind of idiot who will bring a sexual harassment lawsuit onto the company, and cost them a lot of money. You will be doing them a favor by letting them know about the problem.

    Source(s): Attorney
  • 1 decade ago

    You don't need to confront him about this. He sounds like an immature jerk and he'll just deny any wrongdoing. Don't do anything nice for him, ever. Instead, "Forget" his birthday. When a pen runs out of ink, put it in his desk rather than throw it away. Forward all complaint calls to him "by accident." Salt his office plant. Hide his lunch in the freezer. You get the idea.

  • 1 decade ago

    Here's what you do When you see him just giggle to herself this'll drive this loser nuts because he won't know what to say or do.You don't have to say a word to him because then you're only putting yourself on his low level OK I've done this & trust me it works! You know he's a clown & a fool so just look at him like that & give a little smirk or giggle

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    why should you have to say anything to him? the guy is a jerk, all women come in different shapes and sizes and as long as you feel good about yourself, who is he to judge? stuff him! if he says anything to you personally just tell him that you are not interested and carry on with your work. the guy is a loser!

  • eyJude
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Talk to HR about it.

    I would make SURE he KNEW you know what he said.

    So say something like " oh you want THIS FAT A$$ TO HELP YOU EH?" don't think so!

    or just act COLD to him...

    does your friend know? and WHY didn't she defend you???

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    The two of them are ignorant, just ignore them.

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