i don't know how to deal with my boyfriend and his father?

i am 39 weeks pregnant, and i love my boyfriend very much, but he is quite immature (and so is his father who is 44)

but anyways, my issue is, that my boyfriend and his father want to dress the baby in like black and skulls and punk bands and what not....

and i just dont think babies should wear things like that! my mom and grandma, and his mom and grandma also agree with me, and say they would be appalled to see their grandson dressed up in black and skulls and what not....

but my boyfriend and his dad think i am being overly controlling to say that i dont think the baby should wear this stuff, and they pretty much say they are gonna do it anyways whenever the baby is with them.

babies are innocent! skulls represent death and black is just not a baby color! and i dont think a baby should advertise punk music! (i do listen to it, but its not baby friendly!!!)

how should i handle this situation?


oh yeah and his father said something like, "she is only 18, im 44, who does she think she is telling me what i can and cant do?"

its my baby!!! not his!!! ugh.

Update 2:

i just know that if my boyfriend ever babysits (or his father does) they will dress him in whatever stuff they want.

and they think im a b*tch for saying i dont think thats ok.... my boyfriend says he is the father so he has just as much say as i do, and i have no right to decide what the baby wears

13 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well...ummm this is kinda tough for me to answer because i guess you could put me in the label of "goth" and i honestly dont see a problem with him wearing that stuff. But i do understand where you are coming from. He/she is your baby and if you dont want him/her wearing that stuff i think that they should respect that. Most people dont see that as suitable for babies to wear and would look down upon the parents for dressing him that way. You need to tell your boyfriend that you dont appreciate him or his dad talking about doing things behind your back, even though its his baby too, your opinion should count! Honestly you cant stop them from doing it if your not around but i think if they did and you found out about it you should have a serious talk with him about it. Tell him that you guys should be working as a team and him not going off doing things that you dont want him to be doing to your baby behind your back.

    Source(s): 38 weeks
  • 1 decade ago

    It's not JUST your baby, it's also your boyfriend's baby and you have to think that maybe they won't like what you dress the baby in but you have the state of mind that thinks it's YOUR baby so you can do what you want regardless of what other people think. You're acting immaturely here too. Instead of discussing options with your boyfriend and his father you just throw a tantrum and get your other family members to band together with their opinions.

    There is nothing wrong with black. Some people see it as fine and some people 'don't think it's a colour for a baby' but at the end of the day IT IS A COLOUR. Would you go nuts at pink on a boy and blue on a girl too?

    Why not just say that they can dress the baby in punk bands and whatever as long as it doesn't have offensive imagery like skulls. Ignore the black and come to a COMPROMISE. Like ADULTS.

  • 1 decade ago

    This would be hard for me to deal with also. First of all are you with the babies daddy? If not then you do not have to let them take him alone, which keeps the baby in the clothes that you want him or her in. Tell his dad that he has no say in what happens to this baby because the baby is not his. If you are with the babies daddy, then calmly talk to him and let him know that you would rather you baby not be put in that kind of clothing until he or she gets older. Someone may interpret the wrong thing by the baby wearing that kind of clothing, and you are taking a chance of Child Protective Services getting involved. I am going to school for this and I have heard of these kinds of things happening.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Its a little alarming that you are going to be responsible for molding this child into a productive citizen of society, and you cant even handle a minor situation like this...Do you live with them? Do you have a job? Who is supporting this child? Who is picking up the tab for your medical expenses? If the answer to all of the above is you, then by all means, you have the right to step in and dictate the childs wardrobe. However, if you arent responsible enough to take care of this child without wholly relying on someone else, then I dont think you can say too much. Cant have your cake and eat it too.

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  • Punky
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    You are the mom!! You are going to be dressing your baby most of the time, right? So don't worry about it! Just don't let them near the baby when it's dressing time. If your boyfriend or his dad puts something stupid on him, just take it off.

    I got some stupid stuff as gifts from friends who thought it was funny to have my baby wear bibs with obscene things on them. I thanked them and put the stuff away. He never wore it.

    I'm in charge of what I dress my baby in, too bad for everyone else who has a different opinion!

  • 1 decade ago

    You should be thanking for and not harp on them. Not all girls are as lucky as you, some guys don't want a thing to do with a girl. The fact they are excited and happy, looking forward to this child. Be happy. I'm sure when you dress the baby it will wear what you want, but let them have fun too. It's not going to hurt anything and I'm sure they will do what's appropriate for certain occasions. Relax, what's the worst that could happen? He/she could grow up to be fun loving too? I'm not trying to upset you, it's just that there are so many things to get mad about, is this really one of them?

  • Jen
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Personally I think someone needs to smack some sense into your boyfriend and his father. Do you live with your boyfriend or his parents? If not... I wouldn't worry much. You'll have the baby the majority of the time. They might just be trying to get a rise out of you. Can your boyfriends mom control her husband? Maybe tel him to layoff.

    Good luck!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Ok. I'm young but i've answered alot of question. I'll say sit them down and talk to them let them know how it feels, Also tell them you want to bring the child up as an intelligent young man .Tell them he needs to be Brought up right Make sure he got an eduacation.My mom always tell me don't be a Unintelligent person , Be the best you can be. I'm Shannon and I'm 13 But very intelligent And I'm sure your child can be just like me.Hope you like my Advice God bless you and Have a good life.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I wouldn't put my baby in that stuff either. I would be so pissed if my bf's dad was like that. I wouldn't let your bf's dad babbysit then. I don't know what to tell you besides just take the stuff off I guess if he puts it on him.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    dont listen to the father he has no control over your baby and if he trys to control you tell him to back off your the babys mother not your bfs fathers

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