Is sex really that important?
so i am almost 16 and i live in a strict house. im not allowed to date until I am 16 and there is no way that my parents would allow me to have sex before marriage. And I don't think that i want to have sex until marriage because i want to have it with that one special guy. But that's my problem!! Every time that I let that not so dirty secret out about no sex till the big day, i think i scare them off. I haven't even had a first kiss yet because everyone at my school practically knows that. And i have had guys like me but then turn the other way when they find that out. i just need a little hope that there might be some guys in the world that would be up to the task.
P.s. People say that I am good looking so i don't think that it is that factor that is scaring of the guys:)
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Alright boo, Imma answer you. First of all I sincerely respect the decision that you want to wait til marriage to have sex. Another thing, one thing you have to realize that we live in a world where pretty much every guy wants sex and sooner than later. I'm not like that, I have a girlfriend (We both love each other and we're both 17)and we're both virgins. I'm not necessarily waiting til marriage, I'm just waiting til she's ready. If she decides to wait til marriage, I'm okay with that. I"m not gonna leave her, you know why? Because to me relationship isn't all about sex. Sure, I would love to have it, but I'm patient. I love my relationship, it's fine the way it is. It's most of these guys fault that all they want is sex. Honestly, I don't know why they are so eager to do it. So to answer your question, I am one of those guys who respect a girl's decision to wait til marriage to have sex. Again, I respect you and I hope you do find that one special guy to get married to and on that big day you have that special moment alone with him. I'm real about what I say, you don't have to believe me, but I am being striaght up and honest. Well, I hope I helped in any way, if I did let me know, send me a comment or something. Good luck with finding the man you want to spend your life with, I wish you the best.
- B. Villa
- Anonymous1 decade ago
First off sex is important in a marriage it helps keep the two bonded together.But it is not the most important thing in the relationship the most important thing is compatibility.If you both enjoy the same things and have a lot of fun together.However the problem you are having has nothing to do with that what is going on is that these boys you are meeting are young and not looking for anything permanent in other words they only want sex but that is because they are so young and know that they are no where near ready to settle down when these same guys get older and decide they want to get married they will be looking for a girl just like you but do you really want a boyfriend or husband that has no respect for anyone at this point in there life.Don't worry about it concentrate on school I know it's hard when everyone else has a boyfriend and you don't but look at what they are trading off for their self respect just some guy that won't give two hoots about them a year from now.What you are doing is the right thing to do because no matter how careful you are you could still end up pregnant at such a young age.When you are older guys will see things in a different way they will look for a woman who has not been around the track a time or two,If you know what I mean.Looks have nothing to do with who a person is so don't just get hung up on the cute guys if that is what is happening they the cute guys are the ones paying you attention and then they move on because they find out you won't put out.That is because they know they can find a girl who will.So maybe you should look around and see if you might be interested in some of the other boys who don't think about just having sex with you.You might find them very interesting .I know because that is what I did all the good looking guys just wanted sex so I gave up on them and started talking to the other guys and found the man I am married to today.I love him very much and he is way more fun and interesting than the guys who just wanted sex from me and trust me some of them were very good looking one even showed me a photograph album where he kept pictures of all the girls he had been with...LOL my picture is not in that book.I dumped him how dumb is it to show a girl all the ones before her when you haven't slept with her yet.And he never did.So hold out you'll find the right one when you least expect it.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
From a man's perspective:
No... We live in a culture where too much emphasis is placed on sex. I had a parish priest explain it to me this way (in confession, at that):
"You should wait. When you have sex, it is like an addiction. The more often you do it, the more it takes to achieve that same 'high' as the first time."
Having been there (and having lots of regrets about it), I can honestly say, I am still not sure about what all the hype is all about. It was cool and all, but not one of those things that could have waited until a little later.Source(s): Life Experience
- 1 decade ago
I'm 17. I've been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. We have been having sex since about a year and a half ago. We love each other very much, and are planning on spending the rest of our lives together. Sex hasn't ruined anything for us. If anything it has actually made us closer. It's ridiculous to assume in this society that you will be able to keep your virginity until marriage. If you really feel any sort of love for someone, it's ok to have sex before marriage. There are many ways to look at this, but I want you to think about it this way: First of all, think about why you want to wait to get married. If you get married just to have sex (which is basically what you are doing) then the whole reason you are getting married is pointless, and I'm positive your marriage won't last. I felt the exact same way you did until I had sex, and realized what a beautiful thing it is. If you want to save your virginity for one person, then you aren't being fair to yourself. Your virginity is YOURS. Use it for your own purposes, not because you want to save it for that special someone. Good luck sweety!
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- Badger GLv 61 decade ago
It's not up to your parents to "Allow" you to have sex or not before marriage. Especially if you are legally of age, and even more so...if you are legally an adult.
Sex is important. With the right person.
The recipe for that is a balance of Love, Respect, Passion (you gotta have that spark!), Humour (sex is a funny business!),...
If you already know the guy is "the one" then holding off 'till a wedding ceremony is only resisting nature. That's not good.
You can have all that and not be married. A piece of paper doesn't change your love for eachother!
Marriage is still valid. and it's still a lovely way to live...but it's not the Minister that makes you married. It's not not the piece of paper. It's not society.
It's the bond of love you make with your partner, and the promises you make in private, in your hearts.
Not just when you repeat to a waiting congregation!
- ALv 51 decade ago
Keep in mind teenage boys' hormones are going crazy at your age. Of course the only thing they think about is sex, even if they aren't doing it. Unfortunately at your age guys think with the wrong body part and do turn away when a woman decides she wants to wait for the right man before she gives that part of herself to him. Just know that there are men out there that will cherish that and remember to always stay true to yourself. If you have it in your heart to save yourself for marriage, don't let any man (no matter how nice they are) take that from you. At your age you should worry 100% about getting good grades in school. Don't concern yourself that you haven't had your first kiss yet. Realize that when it happens it will be magical and something you won't ever forget.
- 1 decade ago
I don't think you should tell them that!.. Because when your dating guys do think about that a lot, but It won't happen until you say ''yes''... They don't need a reason, if your not ready then they will have to wait. And btw, you shouldn't let your parents decide when you'll be dating and when you'll have sex because you will be miserable. You should just try and talk to them. Saying that even if your young, you can take care of yourself. And you won't learn if you don't make any mistakes!. And if you do mistakes then it won't be there problem but yours.
Oh and don't stress yourself about sex. Ha ha! because when you have sex it doesn't have to be perfect!.. Because if you with someone you love and trust, it will be special no matter what!..
Hope this Helps!
- cronicanLv 44 years ago
Yes it is rather foremost for a healthful, glad marriage. Don't ever allow someone let you know that intercourse does now not topic in a wedding on the grounds that they're filled with it. Intimacy and intercourse are a well mixture for a well, near intimate dating. It is how we close out the opposite ingredients of the sector which are disorders and re-avow our dating. Good Luck
- Anonymous1 decade ago
No, not to me anyway. Physical touch is important in a relationship. Sex is fun, that's all and it's even more fun with someone who you love or atleast who you're intimate with.
Just enjoy it, kid, and practice safe sex. Don't wait for marriage, but likewise don't go down on the first guy who gives you a nice bracelet. And don't listen to these other uptight pricks, life is about making your own decisions. Do what feels right to you.
Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.
- 1 decade ago
At your age I would not worry about sex or how people perceive you when in all reality you are a better person for having higher moral standards than everyone else. Be proud who you are and I can promise you will find a man at the right time in your life who will respect your decision and the two of you will have a better relationship than any of your high school critics.Source(s): Me.