What's the ideal age gap between children?

Looking for experience and opinions on the issue. Wait a year or three or no time at all to start on the second kid, and what's too long a wait?


16 Answers

  • E-ma
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    My siblings, my children, their children, and cousins have all coincidentally had an 18 month birth difference. . (Not all, but at least one set.) These two children seem to have a very strong bond. Almost like twins. I feel it with my one sister 18 months older. My children, boy and girl have been that way from birth through 30's.

    None of these were planned. But we have all noticed the closeness in the 18 month old pairings that differs from those a few years younger or older.

    I liked it b/c when Mom & Dad can't seem to fix a problem, we send in the trusted ally and they can help the other child to come around.

    If having more than 2 children, I would not recommend this age gap between ALL of them. Having more at different ages works fine. They see the cohesiveness among those two & are a good example set to copy in behaviour.

  • >jem<
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I guess it always depends on the kids themselves and how well their own personalities mesh - I know siblings only a year apart who are best friends and those that only have fighting words for each other, and siblings that are 5+ years apart and same thing.

    From personal experience, between me and my siblings, I think the 2-3 year gap seems the best. There's always going to be fighting, but we're close enough to sometimes be able to bond over shared interests in music and stuff.

    One of my friends has a 16 year age gap between him and his sister... yeah, I'd say that's a little too long a wait lol.

  • 1 decade ago

    2 1/2 - 4 years old between each child.

    That leaves the parents enough (or as good enough as it is for some parents) time to afford college, car, insurance etc. expenses. (i.e., expenses at that time of independence where parents still help a kid out.)

    It is also a short enough time where the children are not too far apart in age.

    Remember, waiting to conceive approx. 6 months after the birth of a previous baby is ideal.

  • 1 decade ago

    There is no ideal... Kids and parents will adapt to whatever age difference there is.

    As for my kids:

    Oldest, boy: 11 and a half

    2nd child, girl: 10

    3rd child, girl: 2

    4th child, girl: 9 and a half months

    Big age difference between my first two, and my last two kids... The oldest two fight like crazy... Yes, they play together, too, and have fun, but it's mainly fighting... Drives me nuts!!

    The youngest two play together, but the rivalry is already starting; the 2-year-old doesn't want to share, and the baby is trying to push buttons... Already! So, I imagine it will be similar, as with the older two.

    There will always be issues, no matter the age. Close in age does NOT guarantee getting along; my brothers were close in age, and they always fought... Many years apart, means they don't have a chance to relate as well to each other, or know each other as well... That's how it was between myself and my brothers.

    Good luck. Either way, it works... One can't really control when they have kids, anyway. ;) We can try, but nature is in control!!

    Source(s): Married, with 4 kids.
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  • 1 decade ago

    My older brother and i are almost 4 years apart and we get along horribly. But my mom had my younger brother barely a year and a half after me. My younger brother and i get along great, because we're closer and age and that gives us much more in common. When the younger child gets older, the oldest is typically out of the age group where they like to play 'little kid games', even if it is only a few years, so when they are closer in age they sometimes like to do the same things. Good luck!

  • I have an older brother that's 7 yrs older than me and an older sister that is 9 yrs older than me. By the time I was getting older both were married with their own kids. I always felt more like an only child than a younger sister. So I have always wanted my kids close in age... Like really close lol. Now I'm working on #1 so that might change when she gets here but I'm still wanting them close as of 31 weeks.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i think everyone thinks that what they grew up with is the ideal age gaps... i was 2 years apart from one brother and 4 from the other.... i think that babies are best spaced either right together (as close together as possible) or else gaped about 3 to 4 years. either way you will be dealing with some different challenges.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think 2 to 3 years apart is ideal.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I think that most parents wait one or two years between children. I have a sister twelve years older than me & a brother twelve years younger and while most people find it ridiculous it has worked out great for me. I get to babysit my sister's son for extra cash and my baby brother is my world<3.

    Source(s): GOD BLESS!(:
  • 1 decade ago

    hey... All I can say is mine are 17, 15 and 12 and this works great... they all have stuff in common and the youngest isn't to young to be annoying... If you wait like 4-5 year's between I personally think it would be to long...

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