Excerpts from Queen Victoria's journals and personal correspondence...
May - 1837 (Reference to her birthday)
"Today is my eighteenth birthday! How old! and yet how far am I from being what I should be. I shall from this day take the firm resolution to study with renewed assiduity, to keep my attention always well fixed on whatever I am about, and to strive to become every day less trifling and more fit for what, if Heaven wills it, I'm some day to be. The courtyard and the streets were crammed when we went to the Ball, and the anxiety of the people to see poor stupid me was very great, and I must say I am quite touched by it, and feel proud, which I always have done, of my country and of the English nation."
June - 1837 (Reference to the coronation)
"I look forward to the event which it seems is likely to occur soon, with calmness and quietness. I am not alarmed at it, and yet I do not suppose myself quite equal to all; I trust, however, that with good-will, honesty, and courage I shall not, at all events, fail."
June - 1854 (Reference to the opening of the Crystal Palace)
"The tremendous cheering, the joy expressed in every face, the vastness of the building, with all its decorations and exhibits, the sounds of the organ, and my beloved husband the creator of this great 'Peace Festival', uniting the industry and art of all nations of the earth was quite overwhelming."
May - 1860 (Reference 41st Birthday)
"I am sick of all this horrid business - of politics and Europe in general, and think you (daughter Vicky) will hear some day of my going with the children to live in Australia, and to think of Europe as of the moon."
March - 1861 (Reference the death of her mother)
"I knelt before her, kissed her dear hand and placed it next to my cheek. But though she opened her eyes she did not, I think, know me."
December - 1861 (Reference the death of Prince Albert)
"Never can I forget how beautiful my darling looked lying there with his face lit up by the rising sun, his eyes unusually bright gazing as it were on unseen objects and not taking notice of me. I stood up, kissed his dear heavenly forehead and called out in a bitter agonizing cry: 'Oh! my dear darling!', and then dropped on my knees in mute, distracted despair unable to utter a word or shed a tear."
"I love peace and quiet, I hate politics and turmoil. We women are not made for governing, and if we are good women, we must dislike these masculine occupations. There are times which force one to take interest in them, and I do, of course intensely."
The conflict of 1854 - "I feel so proud of my dear noble Troops, who, they say, bear their privations, and the sad disease which still haunts them, with such courage and good humor. I regret exceedingly not to be a man and to be able to fight in the war. There is no finer death for a man than on the battlefield."
When Russia declared war against Turkey in 1877, Queen Victoria wrote; "Oh, if the Queen were a man, she would like to go and give those horrid Russians such a beating."