Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

Why does he seem to have such a fascination with me? (LONG story)?

Ever since i could remember Jay has had this wierd fascination with knowing everything about me. I first met him when we were in middle school, we were about 9 to 10 years old and him and I did not get along-- at all. He always use to pick on me from the way i spoke to how i act (cause im so shy) to the people i interact with.. I always felt like he loved the idea of controlling me. I was vulnerable to because i was new to the school, did not know anyone though i made friends pretty easy. He still was mean to me. People always joked around saying he liked me, even teachers would comment on his "fascination" about me. About halfway through the year he suddenly stopped being "mean" to me, of course i was pretty shocked at his sudden change of attitude and concerend intrest about me. He would ask me personal questions about where i lived, who I liked and he basically would "show off" to me saying he was better then "chris" (the guy i was friends with) cause he was cooler or something like that lol..Everyone suspected he liked me and even I started to question it, but second guessed it cause Jay was really popular and girls were throwing themselves at him.

So fast forward to highschool, I start to go to through my "akward" stage, when basically everything you do in an attempt to look "pretty" turns out all wrong.. well that was how i felt anyways.. and the guys and girls in my school were quick to point out my "flaws".. Of course Jay was popular and everyone liked him, girls liked him but he always had eyes for me. Somehow despite my "akwardness" and my lack of "coolness" that everyone seemd to have but me, he was into me. I would be with my friends and there was jay showing up at the same place im at. Any opportunity he got to see me he took it. I felt really bad cause my lack of self confidence and inability to talk to the opposite sex made everything much harder then it should have been. For instance when he walked away from his friends to get some "alone" time with me i froze up and said nothing.. which made him akward and so he said nothing and in all the awkardness i just walked away.

If there was one thing he almost ALWAYS did was stare at me, he would stare at me until i looked away, he never was the first to look away.. he was the only guy and still is (so far) to ever look at me the way he does, with such amazment and fascination.. i dont understand why he was and is so fascinated with me as if im some strange goddess that droped down to earth.

anyways In all this mess ive somehow seem to get myself into, nothing became of "us" and my I let my insecurities get the best of me.. its been a year since highschool and ive been running into him everywhere it seems, lately.. however it seems my lack of self confidence and insecurities is getting in the way of me "approching him" ive already made him question his self worth so i guess now he thinks im not into him which would explain him "admiring from afar" eyes but not approching me. I feel bad but i dont know what to do.

I still am wondering why he is so fascinated with me? what do you think it is about me he likes? he is very attractive and im still shocked as to why he has not yet found a significant other as of yet. We are both only 18 but its like im so use to having him around its wierd to see him go. Especially since he seemd to like me so much, and still does. My confidence is the only thing holding me back.. ive pushed him away far enough i regret it everyday. I truly think he is "the one" seriously.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    THis sounds like a love story from a movie or something. I think you two will end up together in the end. This story is to CUTE!!

    I think he is probably the one too, just give it time and next time you see him approch him!

    and dont you hate it when you put so much effort and details into a question and nobody answers.. ugh it bugs me so much.

    I read it all by the way!

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  • 1 decade ago

    This is such a sweet story!!

    If you really believe this guy could be the one, then try to come out of your shell!! I know it sounds so much easier then it is but you have love waiting for you just beyond your finger tips, you are so lucky! The guy i like doesn't care for me, but look at you girl, the guy you like obviously has a strong interest in you! If you believe in fate then maybe there is a reason why you have been running into him so much! Start up a conversation, ask him out to coffee or a lunch date or dinner. The more you talk to him, the easier it will get. Remember, if you don't take this chance you are going to regret it and i think you already know that. Take a risk. Whats the worst that could happen? You get embarrassed by something?? Isn't that a small price to pay? Go for it!

    Also keep us updated!!

    Tell us what happens =]

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  • 1 decade ago

    This is a really great story (well it will be when you get some courage)...screen play all the way.

    Anyway I think he'll be thrilled by anything you say but being upfront and honest is always best. Just be all cute and yourself and tell him that you never know what to say around him. He'll probably smile and start up the conversation. Now that you have been out of school a year you can ask what he's been up to and share what you've been doing. Then it's a simple as asking to hang out sometime and exchanging numbers. I think once you get over this initial conversation things will be so much easier!

    Best of luck!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    wow... seriously i think he thinks you're the one too. Maybe he admires you from afar because you are shy. Maybe he is shy too but hides it well. Maybe he thinks you do not like him and you're "the one that got away" I think next time you see him, if you can. (push yourself to!!) Ask him for his aim, or email. Even cell phone number. (if you don't already have it) Then either im, email or text him. Tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him you really like him and want to be with him, but you're very shy. What do you have to lose? He will probably be thrilled to hear it !

    Confronting someone face to face and saying things like that is really hard. But doing it through the phone or computer is .. still hard, but a LOT easier than face to face.

    If you do not have his number, email or aim... (even his myspace or facebook) and you're too shy to ask him for it, have a friend ask him!

    I'm sure he has a myspace or facebook and it'd be easy to find him since you should know his first and last name.

    Be confident in yourself! I hope everything turns out okay for you, GOOD LUCK!!!!! :)

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  • 1 decade ago

    That is the most romantic and sweetest thing I ever heard!! Next time u see him just go up to him and start off with small talk. How are you doing and things like that. If hes had been that into you for that long then there is obviously something about you. Stop feeling insecure (i know easier said than done). He likes u so there is no need to be shy. Go for it girl and good luck!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    That's amazing! Seriously! Well, the thing is, since you are sooooo sure he likes you, (reading this, I'm pretty sure too), you have nothing to fear! There is no chance of rejection, which is why most people lack the confidence to ask people out. You don't have that annoying problem. You have found a guy who has reaaaaally liked you (Brink of loved), since elementary school (Yea, people at that age really do express love through unkindness). That's rare. Anyone who's stuck with you for so long clearly likes/loves you for you (Even through your "awkward phase"). There is no chance of rejection. Go after him! Why shouldn't you have confidence?

    Good Luck!

    That is a long story.

    AAAH!! I hope it works out!!

    :D :D

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  • 1 decade ago

    Wow. That is all I can say for a moment now. Wow.

    I think you are different from all the girls around you, from what I have heard, you sound different. Think about it. You never threw yourself at him like most girls probably did and you didn't pretend to be someone you are not. I'm guessing you never dyed your hair so it looked like everyone else's, or picked a class because everyone else did. I think that is what made him so fascinated. You were the natural beauty in a way (and since I have not seen you, of course I cannot say that about your looks) but you sure sounda like it on the inside. But although he always seemed confident, we all have our insecurities and I think you were his. He never asked you out, maybe you rejecting was/is his greatest fear? I don't know, only he can answer that question, but its not too late yet, right?

    You are both quite young, but I do think that it sound like you really like this guy (maybe even love him). Think about it this way, either you gamble and make yourself vulnurable or you don't and instead you're stuck saying to yourself in 50 years "What if only I had.."

    Now, by that, I don't mean go to him right now and ask him out. Just, next time you see him, small talk for a bit. If it doesn't seem like it is going to happen soon, maybe you could text message him to catch up? Or you try to get together a whole group, a sort of reunion thing for coffee and invite him to it as well. Then you get to see him. Switch numbers, go for a coffee. Call him up a few days later. If he really likes you, it is going to come natural, but right now it sounds as if you need to give the whole thing a push in the right direction. He sounds like he has tried and tried through the years, but now the ball is in your court. What are you going to do about it?

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  • 1 decade ago

    ok first of all, you need to thank dazzling beauty for posting the link to your story as she is also the reason I read your adorable story.

    Now.. I was a little like you also in high school..one day however, I mustered up the courage to ask out the shy guy whom I had the biggest crush on and whom had a big crush on me also. Because I was so shy, I put it in a letter/note as I was better at writing than speaking my feelings. Maybe give this a go.

    Hope it works out for you, you both sound like sweet young people who deserve each other. Take care and all the best :-)

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  • 1 decade ago

    hmm...I know exactly how you feel...

    Your story sounds eerily similar to mine...except the guy I loved, for many years actually...we had a "misunderstanding" (jealousy) on my part and we stop talking for a whole year. It was totally my fault as I refused to accept the fact that I could not have him all to myself. In my mind...I thought about him 24/7...and wanted to be around him 24/...lol!

    It was probably one of the most painful years of my life... for reasons I cannot go into.

    I think in your case it is different...you have a unique opportunity and I you must take advantage of the precious time that you have. Trust God and believe everything will work out for the best...because it will. You should not have any fear...fear just brings regrets.

    Just tell him how you feel...it wont hurt you and at least you will never wonder "what if"?

    To this day I have very painful regrets of the situation. I cannot begin to tell you the stupid things I put my friends through...but not brave enough to be honest with him...the one person I should have been honest with.

    Again, you situation sounds so similar to mine...lol

    Dont let years go by, I was in that exact situation and I still didnt forget. Just listen to someone who has been in that situation before....you best option is to just let the boy know =)!

    Your so sweet...im pulling for you =)

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  • 1 decade ago

    Your story makes me smile, it reminds me of my story. Anyways you have to go for him! This boy has had his eyes on you since you were 9 and 10 years old then eight years later its still that way, seems meant to be to me. Next time you run into him act natural, strike up a small conversation. That could lead to a little hanging out.. who knows the possibilities are endless! But what I do know is that if you do not take advantage of this opportunity now eventually he will find a girl, but she won't be the one because she's not you. Don't let your nerves get to you, just say to yourself I have to do this. You can ! The ball is in your court now make your move ! :) This is a story for the books, I'm still smiling. You have stayed the one in his eyes for years, you have nothing to worry about. I wish you the absolute best of luck ! GO GET HIM !!!

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  • 1 decade ago

    i think he is truly your other half..i mean if he been into you since middle school all the way to high school and now yall out of school 18 years old and yet you still run into him and he stills like you.im sorry that you didnt ever get enough courage up to ask him out in high school..but again life is too short to regret anything so i mean you will juss have to except that..i mean its not really your fault i had the same prob.but you juss find you a strong friend or sumthin that will be there for you..&&help lift you up..im not like that n e more bc i dont care what others have to say..im not scared of rejection..if he say no[which i really dont think will happen] juss shake it off&&move on.but i really think the next time you see him you should ask this guy out bc he really seems to care for you!!

    Source(s): i was in the same sitiuation..
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