Why does he seem to have such a fascination with me? (LONG story)?
So fast forward to highschool, I start to go to through my "akward" stage, when basically everything you do in an attempt to look "pretty" turns out all wrong.. well that was how i felt anyways.. and the guys and girls in my school were quick to point out my "flaws".. Of course Jay was popular and everyone liked him, girls liked him but he always had eyes for me. Somehow despite my "akwardness" and my lack of "coolness" that everyone seemd to have but me, he was into me. I would be with my friends and there was jay showing up at the same place im at. Any opportunity he got to see me he took it. I felt really bad cause my lack of self confidence and inability to talk to the opposite sex made everything much harder then it should have been. For instance when he walked away from his friends to get some "alone" time with me i froze up and said nothing.. which made him akward and so he said nothing and in all the awkardness i just walked away.
If there was one thing he almost ALWAYS did was stare at me, he would stare at me until i looked away, he never was the first to look away.. he was the only guy and still is (so far) to ever look at me the way he does, with such amazment and fascination.. i dont understand why he was and is so fascinated with me as if im some strange goddess that droped down to earth.
anyways In all this mess ive somehow seem to get myself into, nothing became of "us" and my I let my insecurities get the best of me.. its been a year since highschool and ive been running into him everywhere it seems, lately.. however it seems my lack of self confidence and insecurities is getting in the way of me "approching him" ive already made him question his self worth so i guess now he thinks im not into him which would explain him "admiring from afar" eyes but not approching me. I feel bad but i dont know what to do.
I still am wondering why he is so fascinated with me? what do you think it is about me he likes? he is very attractive and im still shocked as to why he has not yet found a significant other as of yet. We are both only 18 but its like im so use to having him around its wierd to see him go. Especially since he seemd to like me so much, and still does. My confidence is the only thing holding me back.. ive pushed him away far enough i regret it everyday. I truly think he is "the one" seriously.