I'm having violent thoughts and I'm afraid they're driving me insane!?
But along with these problems (my dad and stepmom recently got divorced,thankfully.) I had been verbally abused at school (tons of people insulted me and teased me and bullied me for no reason relentlessly.) and although this is all stopped now I'm having violent thoughts out of hatred. Thoughts of killing those people, including my terrible stepmom. I'm (by nature) a non-agressive person, so I really wouldn't do that, but recently as i've thought of those graphic thoughts, i start to get a twisted grin on my face, that starts to break into manical (or hysterical or whatever you call it.) laughter, and although for some reason i seem to like these thoughts, i've been very afraid of these thoughts and I think the irrational part of my mind is acting up.
My friend just says this is normal teenage hormones which makes sense seeing as i'm only 14, but I really need to find the truth. on what really is going on here! Help,and sorry for the wall of text.
P.S. And no, I don't hear voices or see hallucations.
I did cry when I noticed what i've become, but don't feel bad! That has saved me in the end! :)
I don't think i am at the point to need counsling, but it's a good suggestion nevertheless, talking with my friends online had also made it better.
I'm no longer going to let these thoughts turn me to madness. From this day foreward, I'm going to fight!
Thanks everyone for everything and when I can, i'll select an answer.