Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

Giving boyfriend space. Normal?

I'm 20 and I have the most amazing boyfriend ever. The type that sends you flowers for no reason, the dream guy basically that is always there for you and always reassuring you he loves you.

However, he had only been single for 2 months before we started dating and now he's claiming we rushed into it too fast. He said he still wants to be with me but just do it the right way this time and take it slow. So right now we're trying the "slow" thing but we still talk every single day and he still tells me how much he loves me and that I'm the only girl for him.

So right now we dont even have the title of "Boyfriend and Girlfriend" and I feel like he could cheat on me since we arent officially together. It hurts me everyday but I'm still here waiting for him because I really do love him. Is this normal for a guy? He also talks about one day getting married. So it is a serious relationship. I just dont understand the space... Any advice?

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  • 1 decade ago
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    I do understand the space thing. Even in a serious and loving relationship, two people need their individual time, and there's nothing wrong with that. I can also understand caring a lot about somebody, and as a result of caring about them, wanting to take things slow and not put strain on the relationship. However, you mentioned that you two don't even have the boyfriend and girlfriend "title", and I would talk to him about that. If taking things slow means that there isn't commitment, that is a problem. You will know if there isn't commitment. If he wants to take things slow but is still committed to you, that could be a good thing. But he can do that while being your boyfriend. But just talk to him outright. Sit down with him and say that you understand his feelings on not wanting to rush things, but perhaps bring up to him that two people can still be exclusively boyfriend and girlfriend without rushing things. Tell him that it makes you uneasy that you two are not "official" yet he says he wants you and only you; mention that if he does not want to officially be your boyfriend, it makes you wonder how committed he actually is. Obviously, you can do this in a respectful manner, which I know you will since you seem to care a lot about him.

    I am not saying this guy is an uncommitted jerk or anything, but this situation does call for a conversation to clear some things up. Being with somebody as part of a committed couple does not mean you're gonna go right ahead and sign the marriage license, buy the house and start up the joint checking account. It happens in stages, and you can gradually move through those and pace yourself together - as a couple.

  • 1 decade ago

    I say you need to confront to him about this... he talks to you about getting married... yet you guys dont have the title...? You both need to need figure out what you guys are together.. You also need to tell him that you are waiting for him, but if he's not willing to commit as to having a title ... then you don't deserve him at all

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