My husband cheated on me and got another woman pregnant?
Two weeks ago, when using my husband’s laptop to pay bills, I opened it I saw several windows opened, I clicked on one and I read my husband’s e-mail to a woman. The email was so explicit and dirty I couldn’t even read past the 2nd sentence. I confronted my husband about the e-mail, he denied talking to another woman and got angry at me for using his laptop and just left the house.
Hours later, he comes back with a different persona and starts crying, saying he’s so sorry and tells me that he has been cheating on me for 3 months with the girl in the e-mail and that she’s pregnant with his baby. Words cannot explain how I felt when he told me that. I started shaking/crying and just became physically sick.
I honestly do no know where I went wrong is this marriage. Everything my husband wanted I would give him. I never nagged. I cooked, cleaned, gave him sex whenever he wanted. I truly loved him. I feel like my heart is dying, my eyes are filled with tears right now. All I wanted was a good man to treat me right and I thought I found that in my husband but now everything is ruined.
I have been faithful and loving and got cheated on in return. Please what should I do, divorce or stay? Been married for 5 years, I’m 24 he’s 27.
We have no children together. Which makes it even harder...
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
YOU did absolutely NOTHING wrong here. He has betrayed you in the worst possible way. Cheating may be a forgivable offense but the other woman having his baby is not. First, he risked exposing you to any std's he might have gotten in unprotected sex. (Showing he's not only disrespectful and uncaring - he's also not too smart!) Second, you need to ask yourself if you can deal with this woman and her child FOREVER - they are never ever going away, as most affairs do. She is having his first baby - an emotional experience you will never be able to share with him. He has taken so much away from you - can you really live with this and with the constant worry you will have every time he goes to see this woman during her pregnancy (to be sure the baby is ok... right??) and all the times he will be with her, including the birth of the baby and so many other times. It may be hard to leave him and you will be heartbroken for a very long time, but time and being away from him will eventually allow you to heal and move on. But if you stay with him you will be heartbroken forever. Good luck - and take care of yourself, don't worry about how upset he will be ( and he will try to keep you). If you need to, see a counselor to help you through this, but definite;y see a doctor to be sure you are ok (no std's) and a good lawyer to help you get through this legally because the other woman will be in his back pocket trying to protect his assets for her baby.Source(s): married 35+ years - you are in the worst possible situation any wife could face - cheating is bad enough but a child from this is even worse for you. My heart goes out to you!
- 1 decade ago
Well, my mother is currently in the same situation, but she has been married for 10 years. She found out about 1 1/2 months ago, that my dad had been cheating on her for about 3 months, and that his mistress his also pregnant. They live in OK, but the mistress lives in Nova Scotia, Canada. He met her on a business trip. Needless to say, my mother kicked him out of the house, and is getting a divorice. I have to say I think this is the best route for any man/woman in this situation. You may be in love with him, and it will be really hard, but the bottom line is, he did it once, and no matter how bad he says he feels, he wasn't thinking about that when he was with this other woman. There was obviously something missing with him from your relationship, and rather than talk it out with you and tell you how he was feeling, he went elsewher to find that. The unfortunate thing is that you are the one who suffers through all of this, and it's time to flip the script. Be happy that you found out what kind of person he is now, rather than 10 years down the road. You should think positive, know that you did everything that you could to make the marriage work, rest happy knowing that you were a good, faithful wife, and kick his sorry a** to the curb. You sound like a great wife, and will one day make some man very happy. Happy enough that he will appreciate everything that you have to offer and treat you like the woman you deserve to be treated like. This man doesn't deserve you, and you can obviously do much better than him, so don't hold back! Go crazy, and enjoy the single life, and make him suffer every day knowing what he lost! That's all the advice I can give, and I hope that it helps. Good luck!
- 1 decade ago
It sounds like you have been to accommodating to him. Give him a little but also make him work for it. Guys don't want too easy except maybe in the department of sex. Normally with cheating I would say try to work it out but if he got this girl pregnant then that adds a new twist. Not only is it going to be harder for you if you stay knowing this and witnessing him as a father when you aren't involved but also he was dumb enough to get a woman pregnant. That shows that he has even less respect for you because he couldn't even wear a condom and has exposed you to god only knows how many things. You are still young and if he is doing it now this early in your marriage he will only continue.Source(s): Personal Experience
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- 1 decade ago
First of all im so sorry i cannot even imagine.
second, i hate to say it but you have to leave him.
You can't trust him, he is obviously good at fooling you and lying to you if this has gone on for 3 months and she is pregnant. You can never trust him again, even if you say you will, you will NEVER get past this in your mind.
You have no children, you are young you need to start your life over. Try to find yourself. Pack up your things immediately and move in temporarily with anyone you can, friend, family.
He isn't sorry or he would not have done it. I dont want to be harsh but the reality is at this point the mother of his baby is the most important thing and that mother, and child are going to be in his life now FOREVER. You have to move on, divorce happens and its not always for a good reason but this is.
you deserve better.
And finally props for being the perfect wife and really taking care of him, but a relationship is 2 ways and i hope you can see that doing whatever your man wants doesnt keep him around.
Please dont stick around, i know its 5 years and you have ALL these memories, but does that even matter if none of it was what you really thought?
Pick up the pieces you have left and pull yourself together long enough to call a friends to help you pack up your belongings and get out.
Explain to him what you told everyone on here, and tell him how much he's hurt you. Divorce will take some time, seperating money, belongings, will take time. But that child and that women are now in his life forever, its better to get out now then live a life your going to hate.
- ?Lv 41 decade ago
You said you didn't know where you went wrong. You did nothing wrong. All this is his fault. I know you are devastated to say the least. But you have got to get out of this marriage unless you can accept the child born out of adultery. I know I couldn't. You are still young. A divorce would be the best decision for you even though it may be hard. Your husband will have to support that child for 18 years. Can you deal with that? I couldn't. Oh and in the divorce settlement make sure you get everything you can. He owes you way more. You added you had no children which makes it harder. But actually you having no children should make it easier.
- 1 decade ago
Oh my goodness. I can only imagine how you feel to have your husband of 5 years cheat and get another woman pregnant. How devastating!!! I feel sick even hearing that my off and on bf is talking to another girl or hanging out with her but, wow, yeah this is so hurtful. I am so sorry to hear this. Men can be such doggs. I don't think that, that marriage can continue. He is now, always going to be connected to this other woman, since she is now pregnant. You are going to almost always have trust issues in the relationship if you stay with him. I know it can be hard to let him go, but that may be the best thing. You will find someone better, way better. There are good men, but they are hard to find. You will get through this. Again sorry to hear about this. Good Luck!!
- 1 decade ago
The first thing you do is STOP asking yourself where you went wrong. The only thing you did was trust this guy. I would say to take a hard look at divorce... Some people can get over one fling in a lifetime... but now you have a kid involved. This guy needs to screw his head on straight and realize he has a new priority in life: that kid.
You don't want to stick around with this loser as he struggles through this. You're 24, and you don't want to live the rest of your life fowled by such an ugly situation.
Don't get me wrong, it's not going to be easy. I'm 24 and going through a rough time myself. No one said it's going to be easy, but it will be for the better in the long wrong. For what it is worth, you sound like a great wife, and this guy was an idiot to not appreciate you.
- Emma FLv 51 decade ago
Oh honey I am so sorry. I think you need some time away from him. If it was my husband I would divorce him. I cannot imagine what you are going through right now. I do know one thing, you need to do what is right for you, and you need to look after yourself. I honestly do not think you can trust this man. I think you need a clean break from him. Let's face it if you stay with him you will always be suspicious. Once trust is broken it can never be regained, and I do not think that he will change. On a positive note, you're very young and you will eventually find someone who will treat right. He really doesn't deserve you, and you know deep down you deserve much better.
- tesla_morrisLv 61 decade ago
I'd want to know why he felt the need to cheat before I decided. At 5 years in and you are only 24, you married at 19. My guess is that he didn't sow all his wild oats, wonders what else is out there; married too soon? If that is the case, he probably won't "just become faithful". He is too immature. I am so sorry for your situation; it sucks. But if you really think he is remorseful and wishes to spend his life with only you; you have to look at your tolerance for pain; what can you get past; what can you forgive; can you live with watching him raise another woman's child? Marriage is always worth saving if both are willing to commit. But if you cannot forgive, only pain will follow. I wish you peace in your decisions....