? asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

My 16 year old daughter want to go live with her dad because he will get her the cell phone I can't afford?

My ex has come into some money some how and has finally fixed our old house and is moving back into it and now he has told our 16 year old she can move in with him and he will get her a cell phone I can't afford to do that I let him have the house in the divorce and part of her reason for wanting to move in with him may be that she wants to go back to that house it was her home her entire life up until four months ago when he left me it was for a 22 year old girl and now she has left him and every since she did he suddenly has time to spend with our daughter.

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  • 1 decade ago
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    At 16 if she really wants stuff that bad she could get a job and pay for it herself.

    Of course she would like the idea of moving back to the old house, maybe she thinks deep inside that everything will somehow go back to normal.

    She is just an immature kid, which is why she still needs parents. I think if she went to live with him she would soon see that things don't turn out the way she expects, and that her dad isn't who she would like him to be. I somehow doubt that he's still going to spend that much time with her for long. I know this hurts. It sucks that he not only broke up your marriage but now is breaking up the little life you made for yourself and taking away the bit of family you had.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think what you describe is one of the saddest things that can happen to anyone. I'm so sorry this is happening to you but the way I see it there's no way around it. If a cell phone or the old house means so much to your daughter you will not be so selfish as to prevent her from trying to be happy because to pursue happiness is an inalienable human right. Maybe this is a stupid question and I apologize but is there any possibility of you moving along with your daughter if you reach some kind of arrangement with your ex? Why not everyone try to be happy? If not and your daughter is really set on leaving you, try to get her to at least stay with you on holidays and if and when she leaves, do your very best to try to keep in touch with her.

  • 1 decade ago

    the sad part of all this is that your daughter is being used like a rope in a tug-o-war. That really the point in all this. What you need to do is let her go - without a guilt trip. Most likely he'll hook up with another biatch and she'll come home when she's not the center of his attention - but don't get mad at her - she's a teen in a tough situation. you need to teach her right from wrong, values, principles and it's up to her to use those.

    Source(s): divorced mom of two girls
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Wow. I feel for you. But you should sit down with your daughter and explain to her what your going through tell her you can't afford the cell phone she wants ( if you have to show her a bill to see how expensive everything is do it) then say that you would miss her if she went to live with him and that she can go if she'd like but she would always have a home with you. and if she goes just wait it out. she will begin to miss you and come back.

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  • 1 decade ago

    1. She is old enough to get a job and pay for her own phone but if she is too lazy to do that then send her away. Hey I didn't get a cell phone till I was 17 and that was just a year ago and I survived high school just fine without one.

    2. Did you ever ask your ex where he got this money from? From the way you put it, it sounds kinda fishy to me

    Good Luck<><

  • 1 decade ago

    Just from past experience. Let her go!! Do not fight her but tell her that she is welcome back and it will be by your rules. That you are sad that it is like this but if she wants it that you hope it all works out. Then let it go!!! You raised her and your not done but this is a lesson. She will really not be happy there!!!!! If he is dating younger girls and he finds another one he will slowly ignore her and she will hate it and that other women, Believe me she will respect you in the long run!! I know you will worry but if you fight it she will rebell worse. My cousin did this with her son and he was back with in a year and he called her up cring and had to put things together,. The dad partied he hated it. But it was right and he choose it and was back willing to go by rules!! Just cry alone and undersdtand that this is a hard way to think but you had morals and she knows right!!!!!! Bless you I know you hurt so bad right know and this age sucks for parents!!!! Especially with a man who leaves you to do it alone when you needed him to help keep your mind through these years!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    Let your daughter move in with her Dad. It's unlikely to last for very long. And, in truth, at 16 she would probably be able to get the Court to order custody if she asked. Let her go. My guess is, she'll be back before you can enjoy the quiet.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well tell your daughter that (if you want) pick out a cell phone that you can afford its really up to her to tell you the truth, its who she wants to stay more with and if a cell phone did the trick theres something wrong there.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i personally think that is selfish of her and im 15. but just let her live with him so she can see if she even likes it. or try and compromise with your ex and daughter.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If she is that superficial then I wouldn't want her hanging around with me or try to persuade her to do so.

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