Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 1 decade ago

almost every friend I've had uses me ...?

when they have no one I'm number one to them,

then they find someone better and

I'm back to last. I give out so many chances

and just want people to be happy but

I end up so sad.

why?

what should I do to change this?

15 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Don't be friends with people who are mad at their other friends, they would just use you to make their friend jealous. And it is always the shy people that make the best friends. Once you get to know them they are some of the greatest people you'll ever meet, they're just too shy to express themselves publicly, but are great when you know them.

  • 1 decade ago

    That use to happen to me too. Oh it hurts so much, so I am super sorry that you are going through this!!

    I don't have this happen to me anymore though.

    The change started with me.

    First, I don't look to make close friendships with people who are damaged or demanding (that was huge helpful and such a relief). I reminded myself that I will give people what they give. It was hard, but a much more healthy approach.

    I also give to myself----first and foremost because that is where the problem was too. You have to think of yourself more and do for yourself more. It seems so hard at first, but if you don't you will be left feeling taken advantage of and hurt.

    Happiness starts inside of you!!!

    Now, I have healthy, self-sufficient friends close to me so I am not being used at all. It is great!! I give tons still (it is my nature) but they give tons too. It's a real friendship.

    I am sooooo much happier now. So much so that even if I didn't have any friends I feel like I'd be just fine because I have myself!!

    You have yourself too :) So you're never alone!! Be #1 to you!!

  • 1 decade ago

    You always give more than you expect back and people constantly take advantage of that. Stop going out of your way for someone else unless they are doing the same for you. You match everything. Give what you receive and build a base for a great relationship and then you give more to prove you are the real deal. It's okay to say no and to have boundaries. good luck

  • 1 decade ago

    thats human nature, unfortunately, and that sucks that thats happening to you. well if your friends are doing that to you, A theyre not really your friends and B think about what type of people youre becoming friends with. but a way to prevent this is right when you start to be friends with someone just tell them the truth. say that youve been hurt a lot by friends and you dont wanna get hurt again. explain your situation and maybe even get that new friend to promise yall wont abandon each other

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I'm having the same problem. I try to be good to people and they just take advantage. They know we will always be here for them so what we need to do is make ourselves less available.

  • 1 decade ago

    yeah that's happened a lot to me too and you just have to find a real friend ya no one that's there for you no matter what and you cant let people walk all over you

  • 1 decade ago

    awww :(

    I think the best way is to talk to your friends about how you feel.

    But if they don't understand and don't make an effort to be a better friend, then I think the best way is to find MUCH BETTER friends. You deserve better than getting used.

  • 1 decade ago

    You shouldn't be their friends anymore if they're using you, I hate people like that. Time to find new friends. Good luck! I bet you will find friends who appreciates you. =)

  • 1 decade ago

    confront them.

    If it doesn't change don't worry about them. If they need help they can find it from their new best friends.

  • 1 decade ago

    you don't have to change, just be yourself. you will be happy if you honestly want to make people happy. take care ya.

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