Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 1 decade ago

What's a good way to get revenge on a traitor or people who have hurt you in a non-violent way?

I've had several people in my life recently betray me or hurt me badly emotionally. I've tried the "don't let it affect you" approach and it doesn't work. I want a good way to get even with anyone who has hurt me emotionally or betrayed me.

BTW, nothing violent. I don't wanna get arrested

3 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I always believed that revenge is the answer if someone hurt you. I never believed in forgiveness. One time I was seeking revenge and I almost hurt myself. Then, I understood that revenge makes us blind and we might hurt ourselves and other bystanders in the process. Forgiveness is the answer to your question John. Forgive and forget, time will heal all wounds. It is easier said than done, I know! It happened to me and a lot of people. Revenge cause more pain, negativity and hatred. Forgive and forget is my sincere advice for you. Learn your lesson and next time be wiser by choosing friends and getting attached to them. Lear from these mistakes and continue your life without seeking more pain.

  • 5 years ago

    I disagree with the non-revenge approach. I myself tried it several times, but without any result.

    An important aspect regarding revenge that everyone forgets mentioning: it is a statement. It draws a line between letting yourself be abused or overcomming abuse at once.

    Revenge, however, is best served cold. It must not consume someone, but the contrary. It must be donne gracefully and without showing too much effort in its preparation. Or else you still loose, for it shows how they were abble to take you to such extreme that you prefered living your life to the pursuit of revenge rather than living life for yourself. You start living for them. You are giving them importance. Do not give them that. Stop taking it personal. This is about inflicting pain, so you wan to be as pragmatic as possible and not let your emotions hinder you from your ultimate goal.

    In the end, you must make them suffer in a way that they feel obliged to beg for your forgiveness and reconciliation. It is at this moment that you must forgive them, not before. As Oscar Wilde said, "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much,"

    Perhaps you are simply abble to forgive your enemy without revenge. And that s good. But maybe that is because you don t love yourself enough to take the offense and abuse seriously. Or because you re too fearful. Or because you lack imagination. Or you like being abused, and are a natural victim.

    Anyways, keeping such hate inside is not healthy at all, and sometimes the best way to deal with it is taking the matter into your own hands.


  • 1 decade ago

    living a great life without them.

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