Break-up drama...Any suggestions?

I decided to end things with my boyfriend of 4 years because he was unwilling to move in together of take thing to the next level. He's known for a while that I've wanted to move in, but he always claimed he "wasn't ready". Anyway, I called it off. He said he would come over the following weekend to get some stuff he left at my place. I chose not to be there when he came over because I thought it would be too hard. Later that day I came home to find he never picked up his stuff. I texted him and asked him if he was going to come get it and he got angry and said he didn't want it and to leave him alone. One of my neighbors said that he had come to get his stuff and took off after discovering I wasn't there. I didn't know he wanted me to be there. I thought we had ended things on a good note. Why is he so mad?

3 Answers

  • 1 decade ago

    He's crazy and doesn't know what he wants, imo.

    Some men just get comfortable being in a rut. Not your problem.

    Of course he wanted you to be there.

    He probably wanted to talk. The whole, "I need to get my stuff' thing is usually some kind of an excuse to interact anyway.

    Does he have a reason to doubt how serious you are. Or rather, do ya'll make-up/break-up often?

    I wouldn't be shocked if he tried to call again, to be honest.

    He said leave him alone, so I wouldn't text again.

    He said he didn't want his things so I'd get rid of his crap. Throw it in some trash bags and wait for the garbage men to collect.

    Unless he's going to pay you some storage fees, he needs to get his things.

    Save that text though. Crazy men do crazy things and he might try to haul you off to court behind his property.

    Other posters will persecute you for your decision to end it. Well -- many of us have different boundaries.

    Personally, I'd never move with a man unless it was promised to go somewhere. Or what's the point?

    I don't believe in playing house, i.e., shacking up and making babies...just because.

    If you 'were ready' and he 'wasn't' -- that's a problem. FOUR years later and he doesn't want the relationship to go anywhere? That's a problem -- because *you* do. So, is this your deal-breaker? Can you exist unfulfilled on his timetable? That's your choice.

    Don't ever let someone make you feel bad about having boundaries and standards, chick.

    Men treat women the way they do because women these days allow it. Men won't commit because women these days make it far too easy. They just give it all away.


    Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?

  • 1 decade ago

    Ok, stop trippin...4 years both of you are not over the other. That's why you were not there when he came to get his stuff and when he came to get his stuff and you were not there he didn't get it. I'm assuming someone could have let him in. Anyways, if he is not ready I think that shows he is more mature than you are. Why break up over something so trivial as that. I can see if you caught him cheating or he gave you a STD, then okay kick dide to the curb. But how would you feel if he moved and really was not ready and something happened and you were left with the bills or rent you couldn't afford on your own. Or you made a home that included both of you then he left and you had to be in a place full of his memories. We mature faster, let him do it when he is ready b/c you will regret it if he did it and was nto ready.

    Source(s): Been there; done that!
  • 1 decade ago

    He wants to talk, expected you to be there, still likes you...

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.