Kara R asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

Rate my poem: "Meal of Love"?

Meal of Love

Who in the world believes

I would like to see you kissing

Bringing me to my knees

With all that I am missing

Honing your ever present skill

In the midst of my demise

Flaunting before me a tender morsel meal

In your two tones faced disguise

The feast contains an entree

Which exceeds that of the lower class

Princely fashioned poise of cookery

From which none other can surpass

A brief pause among the collation

To gather space between the portion

Lips meet again in secret hesitation

To distribute the pleasurable ration

Kneeling here among the dead roses

You have succeeded in dividing me apart

Shredding with your cleaver poses

Making a succulent meal of my heart

I had this published in my college magazine. I have been writing poetry for 20 years, and am now writing a book. Feel free to visit my website at TheManyFacesOfAutism.com I hope you enjoy one of my first successes, and any advice is welcome.

I know in the last stanza it says cleaver. I did that on purpose. I did not mean clever, but rather a cleaver pose (one that shreds). Again enjoy!

4 Answers

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  • John D
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I could see a feast as a metaphor for love. It makes perfect sense. You stray off the meal in the second stanza.

    "Collation" is an odd word choice. In what sense do you mean it?

    I can definitely see a fan base among young, Twilight-obsessed, girls. The poem speaks to longing, dark betrayal and the anger it engenders.

    >>>

    As it stands, I just posted a love poem (of a kind) about a feast... perhaps you will enjoy?

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AgOlh...

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Now,l am not Trying to be rude this is an Awesome Poem Dude you and me, could make a Pact and I could be Your best Contact l Really Like Your Awsome Style so, Thankyou Dude for making me Smile.

  • 1 decade ago

    Second the last stanza should be omitted. It makes very little sense. The rest is good. You do a good job of describing the relationship and your feelings in terms of a meal. Novel.

  • 1 decade ago

    Meeh that sounds something a woman would say....hmmm really....Love is a meal? That's what women be thinking?...how sad?...Autism Journal?

    But if it was a meal not for the lower class then I guess i will have no part in it.

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