What do you think of my poem? Beeeee honeeeest .....?

Question

Snap!

Sleep the day and let it stay

But no one knows --

What do you do?

I don't want to spend and find

That lies are really true!

Because wouldn't the animosity climb

And hair fly in directions

When beauty is lost to the lies

And the kitten can no longer listen?

It's rage.

Where does she walk or purr?

How about if there is no way to purr

in peaceful prisms in which to play?

Where are we then?

What kind of fun says:

Stop that at once!

Do not think to bend

The rules or any other! We will not allow it because what we say

Is just what you do! And doesn't it just suck?

Too bad!?

And kittens lie in colored beds

And lie themselves to sleep,

But this one kitten lies awake

To those that listen well.

But aren't we tainted anyway

When we find

That kitten's breath will smell...?

I hate the end more than that kitten,

Who finds itself alone

And so alone,

Writing about nothing

And the images in its mind it bought

At a sport store with a credit card

And no one knows you're a kitty-cat

When you log onto the Internet.

Deuces wild,

pain may leave

People wild,

I cannot breathe!

Broken hearts mend

Snap! is how it sounds,

But it takes a while

Before they're back in bounds.

I try to find meaning

I try to find place.

But in my own mind I

Know it's all fake

When we sit here for an hour

and spill out our souls,

But what the hell's the point

When we're grumbling on goals

Of pieces of cherry jam,

Toast on a door,

Damn the *** that showed itself,

Damn the ugly poor!

Snap! We have no use for it,

What may be the reason?

Can we live alone for real --

Or find ourselves in treason?

What finds days in time with love

With very little haze?

What pacifist finds rage in self

While scarce come happy days?

Peace of mind, of will alone,

I must keep on my task.

What may I be doing wrong

In life, in pain, I ask?

Force me more, and I may break

Before I tell the time.

Here I give the gift of reason,

Yet you only pay a dine.

Care and care and hunting life

While we lost the feeling --

Feelings? What are these, my friend?

I do believe I'm dealing!

Drugs , may I ask?

Oh, yes of course!

What else may I be worth?

It represents all that I live for

By it, death and birth.

My friend, my friend

I know I can't

Tell you what to do

Or how to change

In any way

But what I tell is true:

I had once found some silver,

Silver on the floor,

I put the stuff deep in my pocket,

'N looked around for more.

I found some gold just lying there,

I looked around and grabbed it,

I found a whole big stash of coins,

I bounced off walls like rabbits!

Now, my friend, I realized

How stupid I'd become,

I found I had no single way

To take the stash and run!

So in the end, I left it all,

I'd lost what I'd become,

I felt so worthless, empty inside,

Like others have all the fun.

But later on that night,

I realized what was gold:

The fun I find inside myself,

That happiness is gold.

Update:

Stick around y'all..... I have a special announcement to make about this one.......

Update 2:

I'm well aware it could be better, so don't worry about hurting MY feelings!

Answer 1

Favorite Answer

You suck

Answer 2

wow

that was amazingly well written lmao

i don't really like the exclaimation marks but thats nothing personal i just dont like them in general

i loved paragraphs 4 and 5 and 7

really made me think. and my fav lines - "i dont want to spend and find the lies are really true"

4.5/5 x}

btw on my poem u said dont use cliches

ure defo right on that but how can i change it so its less emoey LOL

and are there any others u would change?

Answer 3

Fuuuuh that stuff is wack yo...for reals dawg! yOu should spend your time more wisely....for reals, no doubt...naw ming bro dawg.

I read one stanza and was like Fu::k it , not no mores.

Answer 4

i like it, allot, it's a bit twisted but, i like it.