please help people i know some people been through it!?

i am 16 years old, female. And I fell in love with my best friend, who is a girl too, about one year and a half ago... and she has no idea. She is straight and I thought I was too - til I've met her... I was never attracted to any other girls. With her it's just totally different. First I didn't realize what my feelings for her ment. I told myself that I would just feel so thankful for her because of all the things she has done for me in our friendship, or that it's normal to have those feelings cause she's my friend and I really care about her... I just hoped those feelings would go away, but they only became stronger. And then I realized that I was in love. And that my feelings wouldn't go away. There were many times I was in love, but it has never been like that... I have never had such strong feelings for a person, before.... It's really driving me insane.

I don't think that there is any solution for my "problem" and I myself don't search for one, anymore... Cause I realized.... There IS NO solution. I can't do anything against my feelings. But I think I would maybe feel better if I could talk to someone about my situation and my feelings. Maybe someone who knows what I'm talking about... you know? Because it's hard to deal with it all alone. No one of my friends knows my "secret" and I can't tell anyone. I wouldn't dare... I just can't. Sometimes I feel kinda embarrassed of my feelings... What's killing me most at the moment, is, that she has a new boyfriend... (I was with her as she got to know him...) I mean I told her that I am happy for her...and I truly mean it. I AM happy for her. She just deserves to be loved and to get what she wants. But on the other hand, of course it really really hurts... I just want her so bad and I just wish I could have her for MYself. It's killing me... Somehow I can't stand the fact that he can have her and gets all of that that I will never have! Fortunately, I didn't see them kissing each other or something yet. I really fear that moment when I'll have to see that... I don't know how I should be able to stand that.

I think I've written enough now... I could go on like that for hours.. Sorry!

8 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I hope this helps. When I was 16 I developed a "girl crush " on my best friend. I thought of her constantly, and like you hated the idea of the guys she was with.You are right in as much as it is love. Love in the purest sense because you have bonded with this individual. Does that mean you are gay? For some yes for most it is just a part of growing up. Did you know that guys have the same thing happen with other guys around the same age? Hormones are going wild. At 16 none of us have the experience to understand. We believe the distorted version of reality TV , movies, videos & even the media presents to us. Sorry for the next part. At 16 most feel like they are adults and are easily insulted so don't ask for help or imput. Now the good part. I am proud of you for posting on here and searching for answers. For me it lasted several years and gradually faded. I still love my friend but as an adult and having spoken to numerous people over the years I know it is just a phase.................You need to step away from your friend if this is hurting you. Would I tell her? No ...............

  • Missy
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    It's hard. I'm straight but I know what its like to love someone and not be able to have that in return. And I know its a thousand times more difficult because it is someone who is of the same sex and thinks you are straight. High school can be rough too when it comes to situations like that as well. But the world is becoming more accepting towards people who are attracted to their own gender. She may be a nice girl and she may seem like she would be a great girlfriend but if she's not into that then there is nothing you can do to change it...and you'll have to let her go. And maybe she is that way but she's scared of what others my think. She may be embarrassed just like you are. As you get older things will work themselves out and you will find a man or woman that will make you just as happy as she does only this time you'll get to be with them. I wish you the best. <3 Miss

  • 1 decade ago

    Your feelings are normal. Depending on where you live, there are support groups especially for gay teens. You can do a search on the net or have a look for some brochures at your local youth centre or even the doctors surgery may have some brochures on support groups. If it is really hurting you then it is best to get support now before you feel worse. These things can creep up and turn into depression if you aren't dealing with it very well etc. Good luck. Hope this was some help to you.

    Source(s): Qualified youth worker and support co-ordinator
  • 1 decade ago

    Dear, I feel in love with my best friend too. My dad did with his first love. That's the thing though, it's your first love, and if you know it can't be then it can't be. All I can say is, that it will sting for a good long time. In fact you may feel like you can't go on, but you do. You keep living and the world keeps on turning. I know this mushy lovey dovey crap isn't what you want right now. It certainly wasn't what I wanted when I got it, move on. And you can always have her as a friend.

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  • 1 decade ago

    the best thing I can say is you have no choice but to wait to get over her. I had a friend who I ended up having a crush on (he was a guy and im a straight girl but its the same thing). but he didn't see me that way. It bothered me for a long time but I realized I couldn't waste my time on someone who would only be friends with me. I know it sucks but in time you will find someone else.

  • 1 decade ago

    Your not e only one babe , i use to have a crush on my best friend . i felt that way cause we were very close , she likes to sit on my lap , lean on me ... holds my hand ... and we were always together .... i knew i was falling for her but i was afraid of telling her my feelings . i didn't want to spoil my friendship with her . At the same time there was a guy who was interested in me . when i told my girlfriend about the guy , i could see in her reaction that she wasn't happy . when the guy came over to talk to her she told him that i wasn't interested and that i was attached .... i was very confused ... both of us remained single but very close to each other . when ever there is a guy interested her i do e same . tell him that she's not interested ... we are still in contact but as we grew up .. we learnt that the society here will never accept us . both of us are attached but we do meet each other often ... by sharing with you i hope you feel better ...

  • 1 decade ago

    Find another girl who is lesbian. The girl you think you "love" is straight, so you two won't make a match at all. She likes guys, not other girls. That is vital of course.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    what ever you do, don't tell her she'll be freaked ! your feelings will go away soon, and its probably just a phase your going through, and i wouldnt worry too much if shes the only girl you like ;)

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