Will this married man sleep with me again on work trip, we've made love once and i'm crazy about him?
I'm a 31 yr old female. I've only had 2 sexual parnter, so no calling me a slag please, i dont sleep around. Basically i've fallen in love with a 51 yr old married man at work. It was love and lust at first site and i know if he was single we would be 2gether..end of story. We have made love once and he cried his eyes out after from guilt and did not even spend the whole night with me. He went home to his wife. We agreed to never do it again...but i cannot get the sex we had out of my head. I came about 3 times in 2 hours and it was unreal. I'm in love with him. I know he looks at me longingly and as we have to work on projects together i've spent a fortune on sexy lingerie and sexy clothes and he is defnietely still interested. hes told me so but he says he cannot be with me again and be with his wife. But....theres hope. We have been assigned to go on a buisness trip together 4 nights away. Same hotel. I'm sure that after a few drinks, we are going to feel lonely, and he is going to think back to the mind blowing sex we had an want to reinact it..right? I mean if he was happy in his marriage, no matter how much teasing i done on him (and i did) i would not have got him into my bed in the first place...so theres hope...right?
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
DON'T IGNORE MY ADVICE. Believe it or not, I'm actually helping you.
I had to answer this question and spent a lot of time thinking about it because it really touched me. I'm not going to be condescending because I really feel for you. Love can hurt.
I fell for someone unavailable and I did nothing about it. I knew he felt the same about me (he made moves towards me but I always snubbed them) but I also knew he was never going to leave his fiancee because with her, he had security, a future and a true soulmate. It was a relationship based on long-term mutual respect. I was new and exciting (I'd been in his life for 2 years) but far riskier- and those kind of feelings fade. I told myself I had to move on. I haven't quite moved on but after nearly a month I'm getting there. Now he's moving abroad and I'm fine...that's what a lot of these kind of men do. They show they love you and then they leave you. Don't kid yourself with this man, he will leave you in some shape or form, and he'll leave you incredibly vulnerable to new relationships.
No matter how interested he looks, at the end of the day he is entangled in another relationship- a marriage. Which is far stronger than any fling- and he knows that too. He'll never leave his wife because leaving his wife means leaving a whole life, friends and family and he's probably learnt to keep away from you. The crying and guilt said it all. Even if you can get him you can't guarantee he'll be faithful to you.
I know you don't want to hear it and as heartbreaking as it is you have to move on otherwise you risk further heartbreak and loneliness. Tell yourself that you're worth a guy who is willing to give you all of his heart and soul into a monogamous relationship. It is possible. Put yourself in his wife's shoes...she probably loves him and in her 40s or 50s (presumably) she may not get a second chance at love, unlike you. Don't be a bit on the side, treat yourself with a bit of self-respect (that's the only way you can avoid being called a slag) and take a holiday as soon as you can. It'll give you enough time to at least move forward away from the married man.Source(s): Personal experience - don't tell yourself that you're situation is different. It only feels different because it involves you. Books- 'He's just not that into you' - a frank self-help guide which would tell you that this kind of relationship never works out especially from the facts you've given us. All the wronged women and children in this world whose lives have been ruined because of cheating men- this kind of relationship hurts everyone and affects more people than you think.
- 1 decade ago
I truly ask you if you want us to justify your lack of respect for another woman's marriage and a man's low life need for a lustful use of another woman to get his rocks off?
He's like so many other men...act like they feel guilty, tell you they love you and then NEVER leave a wife for a woman that is giving it away freely.
You are like so many other women that will sleep with someone else's husband with some illogical idea that he loves you and will leave his family based solely one a night of raging sex.
It's time to wake up NOW and SMELL THE COFFEE...You are using him and he is using you. Grow up and find a relationship that can be rewarding to you and allow his to continue without a divorce, allimony and child support to wreak his wife and children's life.
MOVE ON, SISTER...
EDIT: I don't know you but it seems you are aware of RIGHT and WRONG (to some extent) in life situations so ask yourself these questions... If he was YOUR husband, how would you feel about him taking a 4 day trip away from home with another woman in tow? Would you trust him knowing how he was with you? No, you wouldn't...you couldn't.
You need to re-examine what you want out of life and go from there. If it's not you he's sticking his dick into, it will be someone else soon enough. He doesn't love you or his wife, for that matter. He only wants free booty without the responsibility to you. His wife and family are the ones that are truly being screwed.Source(s): I was the cheated on wife with four small children... I dumped him and he never went back to the mistress. His children have suffered great pains for his lack of fidelity to his wife and family.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
How do I put this politely? NO, there is NO hope! He's MARRIED and regardless of what he says or what his penis does, he is married and that is probably not going to ever change.
You are young, you need to find your own man, not some guy who is already married. If you're just looking to get laid, I'm pretty sure that you can find someone unmarried to do it with.
Just chalk up your ONE time as something that happened and don't let it happen again. You know why? Because it will end badly. You know who will get hurt? His wife!
- bearsbullsfanLv 41 decade ago
sorry sweets...just because you've only had two sexual partners doesn't justify what you've done. I don't care how good the sex was, blah blah blah...what you allowed to happen was wrong. you need to stay away from him on this business trip, or better yet, don't go. as far as him not being happy in his marriage, THAT does not justify you sleeping with a STILL MARRIED MAN. the only hope for you is that you find your OWN man, and leave the married one(s) alone.
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
You're not a slag or a home wrecker, chances are that if he'd never met you he'd be doing the same thing with someone else. He probably already is!
However, this will not end well for either of you. You will only be hurt if you continue this.
Been there done that and regretted it ever since. Not only did I wind up hurting myself I also hurt two other people, one of whom totally did not deserve it.
Please be smarter than I was and spare yourself and his family the grief! There are plenty of single men out there who would love to spend some time with you!
- 4 years ago
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- 1 decade ago
He's married. You need to keep your hands off him. He has made a life long commitment to another woman. He's not available.
I know you enjoyed the sex but it sounds like that's all you have together. It's easy to confuse great sex with love. You haven't mentioned anything about his personality or anything else, you've only mentioned the sex, which makes me believe this is pure lust.
You work together too so it's gonna be hard to forget about him if you see him all the time but basically you are going to have to because the chances of this working out are slim to none.
I'm sorry you are going through this, this is bound to be extremely difficult for you. I know how great sex can get you hooked to a man.
Think of it though, even if he did leave his wife, he'd probably end up paying alimony for the rest of her life, not to mention dividing up any property they have. Divorce is a mess, especially for the man. That's one reason why most married men don't leave their wives. If he can have both, why would he want to change anything?
- MistyLv 71 decade ago
Obviously you didn't like the answers you received on this same question earlier...but they're still the same aren't they?
You're going to do what you want to do, that's clear.
But what goes around, comes around. And someday you're going to feel so much pain when somebody does this to you, that you will be unable to breathe.
Hope it's real soon.
- 1 decade ago
I'm surprised by the number of spiteful responss that you have received. It's nearly midnight in Europe and I guess alot of the responses that you have received are from the US. We speak the same language but we have different social values across the pond.
You have fallen in love with this man, you say. You're human. Welcome to the club. These things happen. In Europe, an affair doesn't necessarily mean the breaking up of a home but if I may say so other cultures expect people to be perfect. We're not, so you're not a slag or a homebreaker - yet.
One thing touched me in your response, though. You said he cried. I have had an affiar and I understand that. If you really love this man which I can believe then you will want what's best for him - and unfortunately, given his reaction after having made love to you - and if I may say - it appears that you aren't making him happy but the opposite.
People in Europe, I feel, can make mistakes knowing their frailties.
If I were you, think what's best for him, then. Tell him your feelings but personally I don't think you should go further with him unless one day he detaches from his wife. YOU shouldn't be the cause of him leaving his wife.
One other thing: You said: "I mean if he was happy in his marriage, no matter how much teasing i done on him (and i did) i would not have got him into my bed in the first place...so theres hope...right?". You've only had two parters but, if I may say so, you don't know men! The fact that e has had sex with you does not mean that he doesn't love his wife. The two aren't correlated.
I leave it that, but love him by putting his interests first - eveb when they don't involve you. If you truly follow this principle you may well decide that this trip together isn't a good idea - which on first sight to all of us responding - it doesn't appear to be.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Most men are like little boys in a sweet shop as far as sex is concerned, if there is someone throwing themselves at them then they will say yes. If you try to get him in bed again he will probably do it and then feel guilty (rightly) for cheating on his wife and family. But if he does come tpo you then you will spend the rest of your life worrying about the girls he meets and if he is faithful to you
Find your self a man who is not married and can be with you so you can be together with a clear conscience