I caught my mom cheating, my dad must to know but i don´t wanna hurt him?

A few months ago we moved to Austin TX, after many years we lived in Mexico, my dad still pass half of the time in Monterrey for business reasons, so when we just get here i start a soccer camp, then the trainer get really close to mi family because my little sister plays soccer too and he´s also catholic, so we trust him.

My mom called him for domestic issues that he helped to work it out, the they become friends, but i start to get suspicious about her behavior, when my dad wasn´t home she dressed sexier than when he was here. More than oance i saw them flirt. I told her, she told me i was just imagine things.

She´s about to start a flower´s shop, so she rented a little warehouse, last thuesday i installed the internet, and also hide a seccurity cam, connected to a dvr.

I checked the tape and i saw them having sex, he was such a pervert,was very rude to her, and even in that kind of treat she do whatever he ask for. Watching that was very unpleasent.

I felt very sad for my dad because he dosen´t deserve that, he loves her and i thought she loves him back. I want to show him the tape, but i don´t want to hurt him, what should i do??

14 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    The best thing to do is to get your get this to an adult your Dad trusts, like your Dad's Brother and set him down in a place where he can get upset without getting in trouble. The key here is that your Dad can't get mad, he can't find out then go and confront them, and neither can you because your Dad needs to deal with this as an adult. So show Uncle and do it in a calm fashion. Be sure to make copies and tell your Uncle you did not make copies. Put a copy somewhere safe (not a locker at school or with a friend), someplace else only you know about and that your Mom does not.

    If your Dad is cool abou this he can make sure you Mom doesn't hurt you and your sister again, as most judges frown on sexual activity in the home where the children live. If you and your sister were in the home at the time it's even worst for her because it's like she's neglecting you both at the time. Further, he might seek to sexually abuse your sister as he is your Mom. So don't be shy and ashamed, but do get help and do show Dad with intelligence and a plan.

    Don't confront your Mom...neitehr you nor your Dad should do this without your Dad seeing a lawyer first. If you confront your Mom she may get violent, or become violent to herself, get very dramatic and give you a hard time--she will definetly threaten you and search your room and the house for other copies of the tape. Dad shouldn't confront her eitehr or she will call the cops and say he is mean to her or yelling at her. What Dad should do is have a lawyer file the papers for child endangerment and for her to move out of the home while a solution is found.

    Marcia's point below is also solid that your mother will feel betrayed. If she does have an agreement then the sex should be outside the home. The guy she have the money to pay for a hotel room. Maybe your parents do have an agreement and when you show this tape to Dad maybe he'll say it's ok. But the fact that your Mom does this when she should be careing for you and your little sister is a big problem that we in the adult were call child endangerment and contributing to the corruption of a minor. I say that because you realized their was an affair before you saw the tape, thus your Mom's actions with this guy are so obvious even chidlren see it coming. Yes, you're a child, which is why we need to protect you and your sister, not blame you for being concerned about your safety...I mean maybe this rude nasty coach is a gigalo who goes around secuding married women, stealing their money, and molseting their daughters. So the authorities will have to investigate this man's backgroud now that's he's around your sister and in your home.

    Flowery below is funny...because actually your Dad can sue this guy for the cost associated with this. Say your Mom and Dad got a divorce, this guy would have to pay for it, which is about $30,000. Say your Mom and Dad go to counseling, this guy has to pay for it. Say your Sister needs counseling from the trauma of having to be around this loser, he has to pay for it. So the only person breaking the law is this guy who is so rude to your Mom. Further, if anything ever happened to your sister or you he would be the one to go in jail now that you have proof.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    1

    Source(s): Recover Lost Marriage http://enle.info/SaveYourMarriage
  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    First thing, you obviously already know this is wrong. If it wasn't then your mom would already know about it. Second, A year ago my mom found out my Dad was cheating. I have a large immediate family. We lost the house and my twin brother and sister are now living with each parent, I, being older, moved out. I still keep in touch with My Dad and especially my mom. It would seem that the whole thing was my Dad's fault. But he obviously was not happy otherwise he would not have cheated. No matter what you do your mother is sure to find out. there's no way of knowing how except if you yourself inform her. But that is completely up to you. Personally I would emotionally guilt trip either one of my parents if i would have been the first to know. Unfortunately, ultimatums never work out no matter how well thought out they are. And what's more your Dad doesn't sound like he would feel guilty anyhow. I can appreciate the situation but I'm sorry to say I've never been exactly where you are. My advice, don't take advice from anyone. Do what is right in spite of the consequences. Just make damned sure it's the right thing. And not that you owe it to him but if you do end up telling it might be a good idea to give the old man a heads up and set a decent time frame. That way you wouldn't be giving him an ultimatum but instead allowing him to prepare himself and not be caught off guard. Tell him, I love you and i love mom, that's the only reason why I'm doing this. ... if that s the decision you decide to make

  • 1 decade ago

    Make a few copies of the tape and confront your mother first! I would feel disappointed on many levels if that was my mom.

    Your dad does have the right to know that is why extra copies might want to be made but I would definitely love to see you mother's explanation. It obviously was more than "wrestling"

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  • 1 decade ago

    Mail the tape to him anonymously. You have been put in an extremely bad position by your mom. Unfortunately you have an obligation to your father too. Who is to say that this man does not have any sexually transmitted diseases? Not to mention the emotional issues this will bring up. I feel bad for you, but I really believe that however you decide to do it, you do need to tell him. Try to remember when you are making any kind of decision, to try to place yourself in the situation and what would you want to have been done?

  • monie
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    You are very different, because as soon I realized that what I was watching was one of my parents having sex, I would have stopped the tape. Tell your mom if it bothers you to know what she did, but telling your dad is her job. Your mom will just have to live with what she did to your dad, but can you live with what may happen if you tell your moms secret?

  • 7 years ago

    DO NOT Involve any other person as it is none of their business. Tell your Mother to confess to your Father or you will. They are the only ones who have a right to know. Good Luck

    Source(s): The best thing to do is to get your get this to an adult your Dad trusts, like your Dad's Brother and set him down in a place where he can get upset without getting in trouble. The key here is that your Dad can't get mad, he can't find out then go and confront them, and neither can you because your Dad needs to deal with this as an adult. So show Uncle and do it in a calm fashion. Be sure to make copies and tell your Uncle you did not make copies. Put a copy somewhere safe (not a locker at school or with a friend), someplace else only you know about and that your Mom does not.
  • Campo
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Your mom has a dark side. Do you want your parents to get a divorce? If so, then tell your dad. Don't worry about hurting your dad. If he found out you knew and didn't tell him, how hurt would he be then?

  • Soul
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Dont tell hiim yet, Just be nice to dad, cheer him up and say you are the greatest dad in the world. Make him feel happy, and when you are alone with him, ask him like "dad, Do you miss mum?"-"DO you like her?". And say to him alone, gently give him hints dont show him that record because it just horrible, just tell him alone dont show him, if he ask you to show , just ask him you sure?

    it must be really horrible...

    its soo cruel, why did she do that.

  • sunny
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    How dare you spy on your Mother. What gives you that right? That was very wrong of you and when you spy you see things you should never see. This is your Mom and Dad's marriage not yours. You have no right to get involved. This is none of your business. How do you know what your father is doing when he is out of town? He may have a girl friend of his own. Your Mother and Father may have an understanding. You are only a child and you have no idea about your parents marriage and nor should you. Destroy the tape and never show it to your Father and stop spying on your Mom. This is none of your business. You will be out of school in a few years and stating a life of your own. Leave your parents marriage for them to deal with.

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