Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

"I can't be with you mentally." What does it mean?

I am going through a divorce process. Its my husband's decision to file. What does it mean when my husband says something like " I love you so much and I will always love you. But while I can hold you in my heart, I can't mentally be with you." He said he can't explain it, but I am thinking how can a husband loves his wife in his heart, and yet not mentally? What is "mentally" here supposed to mean?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Your husband is a nice, polite, literate & wise person---yes, it sounds to me so. There is nothing called HEART in relationship; it's a myth. When he said, "hold you in my heart"---i.e. he liked you, your everything but (unfortunately) he was unable to be with you for some actions done by you. Mentality is related to Mind (another myth!). Heart has no scope to be MEAN but a Mind could be mean. I'm sure, you were perfect with your husband from most of the angles except 'mental' actions. Well, he said, he would keep you remembering, uh, so nice of him. And I assure you, in near future, you'll meet a person whose 'mentality' might suit with your one! Two different persons with different mentalities can't stay togather for a long time, I'm sorry, if I had hurt you. Good luck.

  • E&L
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    He may love you as a person, but if the love is the same way he loves his sister . . . then the chemistry that makes a marriage work is no longer there. He may not be able to explain his feelings without really hurting your feelings or sounding like a jerk, so these are the words he has chosen. Believe me you may not want to hear the real truth, but it does not change the fact that your husband wants a divorce, good excuse or not.

  • 1 decade ago

    He means emotionally he can't be with you. He doesn't want to invest the emotions into the relationship anymore. I suspect that he is having an affair. I only say that cause when people have affairs of the heart they will be disconnected from you emotionally and physically. Their minds just aren't there with you.

    Source(s): Been there.
  • 1 decade ago

    He probably means that although emotionally he loves you, he finds too many logical problems for the marriage to pull through. He knows just loving someone isn't enough, the relationship has to work.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    He might just be mentally immature compared to you.

    However, this just sounds like lame reasoning on his part in an attempt to 'cushion the blow' of the divorce to you. It's basically his way of saying 'it's not you, it's me'....it's just another one of those LAME excuses to try and make you feel better about everything, and put the blame on himself in attempts to make you feel better.

  • 1 decade ago

    i think it means he's saying that he can be with u physically and he still loves you but mentally like things that have been said back and forth or maybe arguments and making agreements on both of your decisions that y'all compromise maybe that's what he means by mentally

  • 1 decade ago

    It means that he cares for you but is not in love with you.

    He wants to be friends one day, but no longer sees you as a life partner/someone to grow old with.

    One of my exes said this to me, he loved me and cared for me, but didn't want to be with me.

  • 1 decade ago

    He finds you either immature or too mature...he can't understand your thinking and cannot reason with you...so mentally he can't be with you

  • 1 decade ago

    Not to be cold, but when guys says that, it means his dick is in someone else. He has someone else. I'm sorry.

    The sooner you realize it and move on the better for you.

  • 1 decade ago

    His mind no longer feels connected with you.

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