Anonymous asked in Politics & GovernmentPolitics · 1 decade ago

I'm curious. Is this what it takes to be a good Republican?

1) You have to believe that the nation's 8-year unprecedented prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but that today's gas prices are all Clinton's fault.

2) You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.

3) You have to be against government programs, but expect your Social Security checks on time.

4) You have to believe that government should stay out of people's lives, yet you want government to regulate only opposite-gender marriages, what a woman does with her uterus, and what your official language should be.

5) You have to believe that pollution is OK so long as it makes a profit.

6) You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to

Allah or Buddha or the Goddess.

7) You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.

8) You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but that large multi-national corporations should have no regulation or interference whatsoever.

9) You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and Bill and Hillary Clinton.

10) You have to believe that society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you wouldn't vote for a black candidate for president. Got elected anyway.

11) You have to believe that it was great to allow Ken Starr to spend $90 million dollars to attack Clinton because no other U.S. presidents have been unfaithful to their wives.

12) You have to believe that a waiting period for purchasing a handgun is bad because quick access to a new firearm is an important concern for all Americans.

13) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have sex.

14) You have to believe that the ACLU is bad because they defend the

Constitution, while the NRA is good because they defend the Constitution.

15) You have to believe that socialism hasn't worked anywhere, and that Europe doesn't exist.

16) You have to believe the AIDS virus is not important enough to deserve federal funding proportionate to the resulting death rate and that the public doesn't need to be educated about it, because if we ignore it, it will go away.

17) You have to believe that biology teachers are corrupting the morals of 6th graders if they teach them the basics of human sexuality, but the Bible, which is full of sex and violence, is good reading.

18) You have to believe that Chinese communist missiles have killed more Americans than handguns, alcohol, and tobacco.

19) You have to believe that even though governments have supported the arts for 5000 years and that most of the great works of Renaissance art were paid for by governments, our government should shun any such support. After all, the rich can afford to buy their own and the poor don't need any.

20) You have to believe that the lumber from the last one percent of old

growth U.S. forests is well worth the destruction of those forests and the extinction of the several species of plants and animals in them because it allows logging companies to add to their profit margin.

21) You have to believe that we should forgive and pray for Newt Gingrich, Mark Sanford, and John Ensign for their marital infidelities, but that bastard Clinton should have been impeached.


Hey TMW, Clinton was impeached and NOT convicted. Big difference. BIG DIFFERENCE.

16 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Its hard to type when I am laughing so hard, but I think you nailed it.

    Also you have to deny the existence of Obama's birth certificate that proves he was born in the USA, but have no problem with the FACT that McCain was born in Panama.

    Talk about how we need to fight for our freedom, then try to take away people's freedoms by propose laws that shove

    Christianity down their throats.

    There really is no end to the hypocrisy and logical fallacies of the Republican party.

    EDIT: I really don't think Bettie gets it... Irony gets lost on Republicans pretty easily.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I actually thought this was a serious question.

    All it takes to be a good Republican is to believe whatever they want as long as the government keeps their hands off OUR money. American citizens are better off handling their own money than the government is. Just look at what Bush and our congressional "politicians" got us into.

    BAD Republicans are either rednecks or religious freaks.

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  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    Two reasons Republicans lost Congress in '06: the war and fiscal conservatives.

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  • 1 decade ago

    1. Inflation caused high gas prices.

    2. Of course privileged people fare better. WTH are you getting at? If you have money you're more likely to go to college.

    3. Wrong, say good bye to social security in 2039 thanks to obama

    4. There has to be some government. The federal givernment should not be allowed to recognize marriage at all no matter the orientation. No right making marriage no longer a union between a man and woman .

    5. Wrong no one believes that's ok.

    6. People should be allowed to pray to whatever god they feel, quit making assumptions.

    7. Thats an ignorant statement.

    8. You have to believe that some people make stupid desicions with their bodies like suicide, but are you suggesting people should be able to harm themselves and others? Abortion causes cancer and mental health issues.

    9. Not all conservatives are christian.

    10. I personally do not believe that being an african american does not cause you to face racial challenges. Again another ignorant assumption.

    11. Does it matter what someone else did with there money? Should Bill Clinton be allowed to commit perjury? Another hypocritical statement.

    12. Nope, dont believe that either.. yet ANOTHER assumption with no facts.

    13. Wrong, dont believe that either.

    14. Wrong, another assumption.

    15. Socialism WONT work in tis country.

    16. Dont believe that either, geeze do you really know anything?

    17. Assumption. this is starting to get annoying.

    18. Link proof? Nope? ok

    19. Some things should change for the benefit of the country.

    20. Wow that was far fetched. We need lumber to survive, do you have another suggestion?

    21. Clinton should have been impeached for perjury, again you dont know what you're talking about.

    Scout I get it completely, he is being a smart ***. I am trying to make the point that he is generalizing and making assumptions about what other people believe and that hes wrong about it. He is calling us hypocrits, please dont insult my intelligence, I dont believe I said one ignorant or bad thing in anyones direction.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You also have to be negative, mean-spirited, and convinced that the America of the 1890s was a time of grace and happiness.

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  • TMW
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    A person has to have an open mind to be "good" in any party. You sound closed minded and very bitter. Why?

    FYI - Clinton was impeached. You have other errors, but I don't have the time...

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  • 1 decade ago

    I think that is pretty much it. Maybe add that affirmative action is horrible, unless it is only benefiting white men. I have heard this one a lot. They are so discriminated against today.....

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  • 1 decade ago

    Receding hair - for male and females is a requirement,

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  • 1 decade ago

    Wow, thats a perfect summation of Republican hypocrisy right there.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You forgot about the ability to throw a strike.

    Other than that I think you've got them pegged.

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