husband thinks im not doing everything i can for our baby?

sorry its so long but thanks in advance to those that read it.

this is our first child and i have had a hard time with morning sickness. well it was actually 24/7 sickness for me. well here is the timeline to help you understand the situation better

march 14-found out i was pregnant with home test

march 19-had first visit, was told i was 6 wks and 6 days pregnant.

march 27-first day of morning sickness. was sick 24/7 and couldnt keep anything down at all, not even water or saltine crackers.

April 20.-had lost 9 lbs. doctor wasnt completely concerned but said i shouldnt lose that much again when i come back.

May18.-had lost 2 more lbs. doctor said everything was fine and that he was glad i had only lost 2 and not 9.

June 11-had ultrasound done and i had not gained or lost any weight so the doctor said that since my weight leveled out, i should start noticing weight gain by my next appt

July 9-had only gained 1 lb but doctor said everything was fine, the baby was healthy and the right size.

somewhere in between the april and may appt is when we figured out it was my prenatal vitamins that was making me sick so we switched them and thats when the morning sickness kind of went away and thats why i only lost 2 lbs. so i was sick from my 8 week to my 14 week. well now the morning sickness is completely gone except for the occasional nauseaous feeling and i pretty much eat like i normally did before i was pregnant. my stomach is noticeably bigger so i thought i had at least gained like 4 or 5 lbs b/c my jeans dont even fit anymore. i eat breakfast, lunch, dinner and inbetween snacks and take my vitamins everyday so getting all the nutrients the baby and i need, im just not gaining the weight. well my husband thinks that im not eating enough and that i need to eat more b/c 1 lb in his opinion was not enough. but i keep telling him that everytime i eat, i eat until im full, i dont just take a couple of bites and stop. he's says i need to eat more. but i tell him if i keep eating after im full, i will throw up. he just doesnt seem to understand b/c the whole time i had that sickness, he kept telling me it was all in my head and that i made myself sick and that i could control my throwing up and stuff. and when i tell him that it makes me feel like he thinks im not doing enough, he always says, well you are doing something right b/c she's healthy and the right size but still, in my opinion 1 lb is not enough and you need to eat more.

i understand that 1 lb is not alot but at least i gained it and didnt lose it. i am only 22 weeks so i have time to gain weight between now and my due date. its not like im due next week and only gained 1 lb the whole pregnancy. i know he is worried about our baby b/c it took us a year and a half to even get pregnant but im trying to get him to understand that im doing everything i can possibly think of. anybody had their husbands act this way when they were pregnant?

Update:

no im not overweight. i am actually really small. i am 5'0 and weighed 127 before i got pregnant. went up to 131 at first appointment then went down to 120 after sickness.

14 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Yeah, my husband use to say stuff like that, and finally my hormones got the better of me one day and I told him off. It went something like this:

    "Well I am so shocked to hear that you are such an authority on how much weight I should be gaining, I mean my doctor is not concerned, but obviously you have some better training...or have you been reading up on line and going to all the chat rooms...no, well you must be reading books that tell you I am not doing things right! Or heard something at the last doctor visit that i didn't, oh wait you weren't there....Listen up, if the doctor is not concerned I am not concerned, I do read about this online, and I have read books, and as far as I can tell the only thing you are an expert in is pissing me off! So unless you can have this baby for me, I suggest you shut the hell up and try and offer me a back rub, or a nice dinner, or something useful, rather than telling me yet again how I am screwing up, because guess what, it's not helping!!!"

    After that my husband became a lot more sensitive to my needs, offered to go to every appointment with me, cooked special dinners for me, asked me if I was hungry and if I wanted anything special. It turned out he felt left out of the whole pregnancy process, and was just trying to somehow be a part of it. You know the old saying those that can't do...teach? Well he couldn't be pregnant so i guess in his own way he was trying to take charge....it will get better. You might want to let your husband in on the fact that right now at 22 weeks the baby just hit the one pound mark! It's not like you have a 10 pound baby in you right now!

    Don't worry, I started gaining serious weight around week 28. From week 1-28 i was up a total of 4 pounds, then in 28 I jumped 10 pounds in less than 2 weeks. Then 5, then 8, then 2...it was erratic. I ended up 48 pounds heavier by week 41. Then I had the baby and within 2 weeks of delivering i was in my old pants, only 9 pounds up. That is the bonus of having it really all be baby weight, when the baby comes out, the weight goes away.

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  • 1 decade ago

    No my husband did not act like this when I was pregnant but what I can tell you is make sure that whatever you are eating it is healthy fruits and veggies and not junk food another thing is talk to your doctor and tell him about your husbands concern and see what they say. I lost 3 lbs from morning sickness and I didn't really gain the weight back until I was well over 4 months and then it seemed like I popped from there out especially my 7-9th month I gained a lot. But don't worry your body will give all the nutrients to your child and then to you. So relax if just put it in Gods hands and he will take care of you

    Source(s): Proud parent of a 14month old
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  • 4 years ago

    Things happen for a reason. If you can afford two, you can afford three. That is the way I see it. What if you had twins your last pregnancy? Same difference in a way. Maybe it is more of a selfish thing, maybe you are not wanting to be pregnant for another 9. I definitely think you should tell your husband. It will come out eventually and he should support you no matter what you end up doing about the situation. You need him, he is your husband for a reason. Maybe he will be super excited..you never know. Maybe he or you will get a raise in the next few months and your financial situation will completely turn around. I think you should keep it. At least, tell your hubby and talk it over. Don't do something that drastic without him being aware of it.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I got morning sickness at week 8 until week 14...I lost ten pounds. I am now 24 weeks and just now back to my pre pregnancy weight.

    I always hear about these prego people saying they are always hungry and they eat all the time but I only eat 3 meals a day and not as much during those meals as I would have if I weren't pregnant. I htink my body is doing what it knows is right so I don't worry about it.

    You're normal, tell him to shut up and if there is a problem your doctor will tell you.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Some women don't gain a lot of weight in pregnancy. I only gained 3lbs last pregnancy and I ate more than enough to try and gain it. The doctors said the baby is getting everything it needs, so there are no problems.

    If the doctor says your fine and the babies fine then theres nothing to worry about.

    Are you a bit overweight? Overweight pregnant women don't tend to gain a lot of weight as your body is using its reserves for the baby as well as what your eating.

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  • 1 decade ago

    A large amount of weight gain isn't normal for everyone. I only gained 12 lbs with my pregnancy. And I didn't start gaining for quite a while. My sister gained about 45 lbs, my aunt actually lost 5 lbs her entire pregnancy (never gained a lb), and my sister in law gained about 60.....

    Have him go to an appt with you if he doesn't already. Does he really want you to gain a lot of weight? lol... that's crazy....

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  • 1 decade ago

    i was the complete opposite. i gained a lot of weight and my husband got on me about it. i wasn't eating more then usually or didn't have cravings all the time so i don't know why i gained so much. i walked and exercised as much as i could but still nothing. my kids were all big so im assuming that's part of the reason. all women are different. some women only gain a few pounds during pregnancy, others gain a lot like i did. as long as the baby is healthy im sure its fine. good luck.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Does your husband attend the appointments with you? If not, have him go to your next one if possible. The doctor will be able to tell him that what you are going through is normal and as long as the baby is developing properly, then there should be no reason for concern. It sounds like you are doing everything you can for the health of your baby. I wish you all the best of luck!

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  • 1 decade ago

    He needs to understand that morning sickness makes you lose weight and if the doctor isn't concerned and your baby is healthy then you are fine. Tell him when he can carry a baby and have morning sickness then he has the right to complain.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Hun, you are doing everything perfectly. Just to ease his mind, take him with you to the next doctor appt so that he can get all the reassurance he needs. Best of luck and congrats! :)

    EDIT: Oh and by the way, i am 16 weeks and haven't gained yet. And i eat very well.

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