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Am I lame for wanting to wait until marriage to have sex?

I've told all my friends that I want to wait until I'm married to have sex, and they all say I'm a lame goody-goody. I know that normally teenagers can't take their mind away from sex, but I earnestly couldn't care less about it. And it's not because I think it's a sin to do such things; I want my first time to be when I'm married with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I feel as though sex is something so important that it should only be shared with a person's absolute soulmate. But I'm terrified that no boy will want to be with me since I don't want to have sex until marriage, or that they'll cheat on me and I'll never get married. I don't know what I'm supposed to tell my boyfriend out of fear that he'll break up with me...please help?

28 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    no i almost wish my gf was that way

  • Nothing wrong with you.


    In this society where pressures to have sex are real, then it's not realistic.

    Also, you can't just wait till marriage. What if the sex is bad? You never would've known. Sex is an important part of a relationship. It's like anything else - you have to do it more than once to know what you like/don't like about it.

    I think it's unrealistic, but hey, it's you're life. You might not always love the man you marry; you may not have the chance to marry the man you love. You see what I'm saying? It's like your first kiss. You can't hand it out to anyone, but there's no point in waiting forever if you have someone that loves you -right there-.

  • 5 years ago

    In this day and age our society seems to endorse sex like a new fashion trend that's a must have, not something special to be shared amongst a couple. Personally, I've made the same choice for similar reasons. I'd rather not have the stress of worrying if I'm pregnant or if I somehow got a STD. That, and I don't want a relationship that revolves around sex. If they're willing to wait and marry me before getting in bed, then they aren't just looking to get some. Although, I don't look down on anyone who does have sex otherwise - it's their choice, not mine. This is what works best for me and it may not for someone else. Who am I to judge? And I tend to get several comments a day (I wear a purity ring) on my choice and how I'll "never get a boyfriend". If he really loves you, he's willing to wait until you're comfortable, not when his hormones are. So, with that said, I would definitely date a guy who respects my decision and also would like to save himself for his future wife - no matter if it's me or not.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Its not lame. It's against the grain of modern pop culture, but its an intensely personal decision that I don't think culture should sway you in. I didn't wait, but that's just me.

    As for boys: be up front about it. If he's interested in you, he'll stay. If he's only interested in the prospect of having sex with you, he's not worth the time anyway. There are guys out there who will date you even if you want to wait, either they're waiting as well, or they just want to be close to you and sex isn't all they want from you. Out of my close buds I'm one of only 2 guys who's had sex. The other three are all in long term relationships and two don't plan on going there any time soon, the other said hes considering it.

    You're not lame, and you'll do fine with the boys as long as you stay away from the douche bags who only want one thing from you. (And it doesn't matter how sweet they are about it, if that's all they want, that's all they want, plain and simple.)

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  • 1 decade ago

    You are right not to have sex until marriage. It's shows you have respect for yourself and arent just one of those girls who will give out easily. and dont worry if your boyfriend wants to break up with you because you won't put out then let him. He's not good enough then, wating until marriage is the right thing to do. If you aren't safe with it, and even if you are there isn't a 100% gaurentee you won't mess up your life by getting pregnate at an early age. So don't worry about what others say. Do what you feel is right!


  • ACM
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Of course not. Sex is a personal thing, and the decision as to when to have sex is yours to make. A lot of guys put serious pressure on girls to have sex, and a lot of girls cave into that pressure even when they don't really feel ready to take that step. To be honest, any guy who can't respect your decision to wait is simply not worth your time. Believe it or not, there are guys out there who feel as you do. If your current boyfriend doesn't, then maybe you might want to consider making him your former boyfriend and keep looking.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i'm only fourteen but other kids in my school are already doing it an i think that is just revolting so i'm glad i'm not the only person that does. it's hard to wait but it's the right thing to do and it attracts the right kind of people towards you so just be honest with your boyfriend and if he cares about you like he should he won't break up with you also my parents have been married 20 years and they waited so if your patient you will have no trouble finding somebody.

  • 1 decade ago

    Do what you feel is right. It's your body and you are the only one who has the right to choose what you will do with it. Anyone who has a problem with it can make their own choice with their own body. There are lots of people (though, not the vast majority) who have waited until marraige to have sex and have successfully found a husband who loves them as was willing to wait.

    It's OK to tell your boyfriend about this. If he truly loves and respects you, he will understand... If not, there are many more guys out there who are much more worthy of your time & affection.

  • 1 decade ago

    Definitely not. If you want to wait for marriage, then wait. It's your body and mind, so you should choose what to do with it. If your boyfriend doesn't respect your decision, then he's not right for you in my opinion. I know plenty of guys who tell me that they are going to wait till marriage to have sex because it is a big deal..and it is. I was 14 when I first had sex--I totally regret it and wish I would have waited.

  • 1 decade ago

    You are most definitely NOT lame, sweetie. I feel the exact same way. Yes, you will find someone out there that respects you, and in fact, most men want to marry a virgin anyway. Stand firm in your beliefs and your true soulmate will most definitely understand. Also, it sounds like you would choose someone that is also a virgin, so there's really nothing to worry about. :)

  • 1 decade ago

    Thank YOU! I agree completely. That's the exact same way I am. But I don't think you need to be stressing about no guy ever wanting you because of that reason. There are guys like us, too. If the guy your with is pressuring you, or cheating on you, it means he obviously doesn't respect you enough. And if he doesn't respect you, then he's obviously not the one you want to be with. Or need, rather.

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