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I feel like a loser when being compared to my sister?

I love my sister a lot, we’re each other best friends and we understand each other like no other people could ever do. She’s a very well rounded person. Everyone always tell how beautiful she is with her model-looking figure. She’s smart, clever. She sings in church & people really adore her talent. She makes delicious foods on holidays for family gathering & everyone would always ask for her recipe…Well, you get the idea... Don’t get me wrong though, I’m very happy for her because I know what she’s been going through (major depression & suicidal attempt), and most importantly – she’s my sister.

I just feel sad that people keep comparing me to her. I was always an extremely shy kid, a loner with absolutely no self esteem. So the more people compare me to her, the more I become withdrawal into my own little world. I feel like I’m not very good at anything…I become very awkward when meeting new people. I feel much more comfortable being by myself, though inside I feel VERY lonely & I always long for a companionship. I’m getting a little better now, but sometimes I wonder if people ever stop for a second and think whatever they say (may sound harmless to them) could actually hurt a person’s feeling to a great extend.

Anyone’s been in my shoes could share your experience? How can things get better? How do you ignore stuff like this? Many people look at me as a slow, quite; shy, nervous, & etc. person & they’d look down on me sometimes you know…It does hurt & affect me a lot mentally.

7 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    at least u dont envy ur sister that be bad i think, u gotta remember theres things u do that ur sister cant do as well as u can. for example my younger bro and i used to get compared to alot in school he was always faster more athletic and social than i was. i got kinda down about it but i found things i did better than him and it help me like i could draw better or write short storys that people really liked won a couple town contest with them u gotta find those lil things and it will expand ur mind to the point where not everything is about ur sister. as for people comparein u two? just ignore them they dont know u as well as they know ur sister maybe u should try to talk to them so they get to know u and make a few friends

  • mark
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    You can shock people sometimes by replying to their comments with something like "oh I know I am just a sack of (pick a word) compared to xxxxx. " . It makes the point very clearly that the comparisons hurt you .

    Focus on what you do, and do it well. You should be able to bake as well as your sister, even if its a bit harder. Try some cookies. Dont try to compete, find something you enjoy and learn to do it well. You and your sister are different people.

    You see that her life is not great , since she was suicidal.

    Support each other , maybe she can introduce you to more people.

  • 1 decade ago

    Always remember you are who you are and no one can change you no matter how much they want you to be different. Some people have a hard time seeing good things in people when comparing them to others. They ask why can't look like that or why can't they do this. Things will get better eventually because you will find something that you can do better than sister could ever hope to.

    I hope it helps and I have faith in you. :)

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    everyone compares me to my sister too. she is older than me. i look up to her as a role model. people say how i'm prettier though and she gets jealous but she is really smart. she is on the deans list at her school and she is a really good dancer. one time my mom was comparing my grades with her and i explained to her that we're two different people. my mom actually got it and she hasn't compared ever since.

    good luck! xoxo.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You have a low self-esteem problem, you need to work on this, read books on self-esteem, Your sister is no better then you, and you are the one who is giving her the power, in your mind, You are some body, and smile and believe this!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    your different remember everyone wants you to be like her cause you popped out the same mom but u have things ur sister cant do ans shes has thing u cant do just find wat you can do best and say well can you fck boys beter than me or something haha jk dont use that

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    be better?

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