Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Education & ReferenceQuotations · 1 decade ago

whats the funniest quote u heard?

whats the funniest quote u heard?

20 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    - i wanna live in a world where chickens can cross the road without having thier motives questioned-

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  • 1 decade ago

    "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." - Mark Twain

    "I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it." - Mitch Hedberg

    "Weaseling out of things is important to learn! It's what separates us from the animals…except the weasel." - Homer Simpson

    "Always go to other peoples' funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours." - Yogi Berra

    "Have you ever noticed that everyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?" - George Carlin

    "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." - Emo Phillips

    "My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is." - Ellen Degeneres

    "Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped." - Sam Levenson

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  • 4 years ago

    Well, I think that my favorite quotes are: "You are so awesome!" - Austin Bello when I brought him food on Warped Tour. I had set down the food and a flamingo beanie baby on the Forever The Sickest Kids signing table, then Kyle Burns gasps and says: "OHMYGOD A FLAMINGO! MINEMINEMINE!" and I'm just like"... Uh, it was for you anyway... hahaha" And after I gave him the flamingo, I asked: "Can I have a hug?" "Of course!*hugs*Thank you for the flamingo, too! You have really amazing makeup." Last one, on the June 21st Warped Tour, I said to William Beckett: "Hey, could you do me a big favor? It's my friend's birthday, could you sing to her?" "Sure! Let me just wait for The Butcher to be done and we can harmonize for you." *smiles* Lmao, Travis Clark is F***ING HILARIOUS!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Just saw it on thew big band theorey...

    " There is as much a chance of you having a sexual relation with Penny as there is that hubble will look into the center of every black hole and discover that there's a little man with a flashlight running around inside looking for a circut breaker!"

    ROTFLMAO!!!!!XD

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  • 1 decade ago

    All love at first, like generous wine,

    Ferments and frets until 'tis fine;

    But when 'tis settled on the lee,

    And from th' impurer matter free,

    Becomes the richer still the older,

    And proves the pleasanter the colder.

    Source(s): Samuel Butler (1612–1680), English satirist, 1680? Genuine Remains "Miscellaneous Thoughts" (1759).
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  • 1 decade ago

    “Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.”-Anonymous

    Either that one or:

    “There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating; people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.”-Oscar Wilde

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    "Friends are like condoms. They are there when things get hard."

    "Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

    "May your life be long and useful like a roll of toilet paper."

    "Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."

    I actually find that very useful.

    LOL

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  • 1 decade ago

    Rarely is the question asked, Is our children learning?

    They misunderestimated me.

    I know the human and fish can coexist.

    Source(s): George W. Bush Just a few of his zingers!! God bless America!! lol =)
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Too many but a perennial favourite ;

    "I never cease to be dazzled by his propensity to state the blindingly obvious".

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  • 1 decade ago

    you go girl................and don't come back.

    only dead fish go with the flow!

    If you want a man to fall head over heals give him something to fall over

    lifes like a role of toilet paper the closer to the end the faster it goes

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  • 1 decade ago

    He told me it was artificial respiration, but now I find I am to have a child.

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