Hang in there! God hears you.
It's helpful that we feel bad when we do wrong things — that's our soul hurting because it's injured, the same way a broken arm does. But even if you never break a bone again, you've still got to treat the break you've already got. That is what the Orthodox Church has Confession for — it's about getting healed. I know you don't have much experience with Church, but there's no time like the present to get some — and you are old enough now to go on your own if you want.
So, what's Confession? You go to talk to God, and the priest is there to help you, give you advice, and be your connection to the rest of the Church. Probably you'll sit in a pew together, or in his office, in front of an icon of Jesus. Confession can be a little scary at first, but it helps us to realize that we're not alone. Every Christian struggles with sin! And it's a spiritual medicine — it's not something I can explain, but I think you'll see what I mean.
What do you say? Well, you just say everything you feel bad about! It's hard to mention some sins, especially sexual ones, but remember that the priest has heard it *all* before, hundreds of times (seriously). Plus, he has to keep it a secret from *everyone*, even from your parents — there's no stricter rule in the Church. Finally, if you're worried he'll think worse of you — don't worry. Actually, he'll think more of you because you're being brave and because you care about doing what's right.
Just call your priest, or talk to him after the Sunday service, and ask to set it up. If he can't for some reason, you can ask any Orthodox priest. In fact, if you are going to Church on your own, you may as well go to whatever Orthodox parish you like best — an OCA or Antiochian parish, for example, might use a lot more English than a Greek parish.
But *don't* wait for Confession to talk to God and ask forgiveness. Confession is important and it helps us — but you don't need icons or priests or anything to talk to God! So ask Him for forgiveness as soon as your conscience bothers you. Decide not to do it again, and then tell Christ how you feel: that you want Him to forgive you, and that you've made the decision to stop. Definitely ask for His help — we won't get anywhere alone. Then put the past aside until it's time to get completely healed-up in Confession.
Even if we fall down a million times, all God asks of us two things. First, we have to "get up" — to ask Him for forgiveness and decide to start fighting again, with His help. Second, we have to forgive people who've done us wrong.
Oh, and one last thing: A Christian *is* supposed to resist sin, but that's not the *point* of being a Christian. The point is to love God and to love the people around us. So don't spend all your time praying about sin! Be thankful, pray for yourself, pray for your friends, and pray for your enemies. (If you remember, put in a word for "Polytropos," too!) Be kind to *everyone*, never look down on *anyone* , and remember that God really, really loves you!
I study Eastern Christian theology, but, more importantly, I've had a lifetime of being an Orthodox Christian, a lifetime of sinning, and a lifetime of being forgiven.
* A good short article on Confession: http://www.greekorthodox.org.au/general/...
* How to find a parish:
- - - General: http://orthodoxyinamerica.org/lr_v10/loc...
- - - Greek: http://www.goarch.org/parishes/
- - - OCA: http://www.oca.org/DIRlists.parish.asp?SID=9
- - - Antiochian: http://www.antiochian.org/parishes/statedirectory/us
* Getting a Bible:
- - - The Orthodox Study Bible: http://tinyurl.com/osb-amazon
- - - That Study Bible is pretty huge, so you may want the New-Testament-only, paperback version: http://tinyurl.com/osb-nt-only
- - - - - - - There are also cheaper, used copies at Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/osb-nt-amazon