first sexual experience was with a prostitute and i feel HORRIBLE now, can anyone say anything to cheer me up?
i am a 21 year old male and i had never had a girlfriend and never had any sexual experiences. recently, i've been getting really horny and feeling like i want to have a sexual experience. part of me wanted to save it until i find someone special whom i would like to remember my first sexual experience with, but at the same time, i was really feeling the sexual urge. so i started looking at the ads on craig's list and i was thinking about answering one. part of me thought i should just go to the strip club instead, but i ended up answering the ad and going through with it. but when i met the woman, i found her very unattractive compared to the picture. i didn't have sex with her(i never intended to go all the way) and didn't even kiss her. but she gave me oral sex(i wore a condom of course). this was the first time i had ever gotten oral sex.
now, the thing is, i REALLY regret doing it. part of it is the fact that i will always remember my first sexual experience as something i payed for and also, the fact that in the middle of it, i realized she was actually really unattractive. part of me is even worried that she might have been a transvestite(there's a lot of those on there). i feel HORRIBLE that my first experience was like this and even that i had this experience at all. i really wish i could take it back. and what makes me feel much worse is knowing that this was the best i could do. i am shy around girls and i am not good looking and that is really why i never got this from a cute girl whom i cared about and cared about me like most other guys do.i really feel like a pathetic loser and i really hate myself for what i did.
can someone please tell me something to cheer me up or give me advice on how i can deal with this?
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
HEy dont be so depressed about it ok.....look u say ur unattractive and all but some people du nt care for tha outside at all i have dated my share of ugly men and peoople say im really pretty but i go for personality and im not tha only girl who does....so you will find tha right girl dont worry about that at all ok im pretty sure u were blessd with a great personality and theres myspace tooo if you want to find love i knoe it sounds lyk a joke but its not...i will b ur friend. ( email@example.com is my myspace email if yu wanna b friends im not single tho lol but however tha whole prostitute thing isnt all that badd as u put it out to be atleast your not molesting 15 year olds ok so dont ever b ashamed learn frm yur mistakes if yu didnt lyk it dnt du it again...who cares yu made a mistake we all duit....oral sex isnt anything lyk intercoarse so yu lucked out on that i kno this is long but if yu wanna talk email me...firstname.lastname@example.org bye
Okay, you did fine. We all do stuff that we burn about afterwards - take it from me, I'm 59!
Here's the thing. It's okay to be shy and it's okay to not have sex until you find the right girl. In fact, it's better that way. So many people are sheep. They feel they have to have sex, they have to get drunk, they have to get a tatt because their friend is getting one.
Look in the mirror. Do you see a sheep?
I'm sure you see a lovely young man.
Forget the pross. You were very separate from the experience. You didn't break any laws or hurt anyone. You're fine.
So get on with your life. Discover who you are, what you like to do, and do it! When it's time you will meet the right girl and when you do - remember you did nothing wrong!
In fact, think about it - we all learn from our mistakes. Mistakes are wonderful teachers. So let it go, and move on with a good life.
- JodyLv 71 decade ago
Aww, the same thing happens to a lot of servicemen when they go overseas. They realize afterwards that it wasn't what they wanted at all. They wanted love. But how can you know until you've done it?
So maybe it wasn't the wrong choice, maybe it was a choice that helped you learn more about you and more about what you really want out of life. How would you feel about yourself as a person if you loved it?
Sometimes we have to learn what we don't want in order to recognize and appreciate when we get what we do want. It will be okay. You learned a lesson.
You can talk to a mental health professional. My personal advice: don't dwell on your mistakes. Instead identify your mistake(s) and how you can avoid them and make better choices next time. That means you have to address your sexual urges. After all, "don't get involved with a hooker" is advice that can lead to better choices but it doesn't address a more positive alternative.
Don't hate yourself and remember that often times we learn by making mistakes. You need to find someway to move on. If you need help doing this, pay a mental health professional.
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- 1 decade ago
You should understand that the "first times" are not as significant as pop-culture media likes you to believe. Plus, you're a GUY. Did you have your cherry popped? No. It's not that big of a deal.
- Peach CheesecakeLv 51 decade ago
what about the unattractive janitor who felt you up 2 years ago. TRoll!
- 1 decade ago
........... ummm, well. u can think of it as a funny story to tell a group of close friends one day when u have a serious girl friend. one day it will just be a funny memory....hopfully. lol. think of it this way, its another life story u would have. it could of been worse...u could of been raped as a virgin!