straight girl gay guy??? 10 points?

i was with this guy who i was totally in love with who treated me terribly and then ended up being gay. i was miserable for the last few monthes after we broke up but i really still am upset.

are there any hetero girls who ever fell for a homo guy out there who understand what im going through? any suggestions on how to get my mind off of this? i think i still might be in love with him.

please i really dont need any nasty comments i am not trying to turn him straight i never did ever, i was always really accepting when he and i were friends but i just cant handle being friends with someone who both abuses me and i love but cant have.

so please no one tell me to be his friend still

thanks :(

Update:

ERICA!!! omg girl i wish i could talk to you in person (i mean i obviously cant ) but seriously my guy was THIS close to kissing me too! he and i never dated, btw. when i say "with" him i meant it in a different way... but omg that is what happened to me. he flirted it up with me before he told me he was gay. he was in the closet when he and i were friends he didnt come out to the public (people other than me and his other close friends) until after he and i stopped talking.

girl i know its hard but you and i both just have to move on and find men who dont play mind games with us! we deserve better than this. we deserve wonderful men who care and treat us kindly and dont waste out time with their own emotional problems!

wow, glad i found someone who went through this too so i could relate. best of wishes to you im sure we will both be over it in no time :)

9 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    omg

    i have a similar situation

    so im a straight girl and this boy, adam, who i met last year in jewish youth group quickly became my best friend

    we told eachother EVERYTHING

    then summer came around and we went to israel with eachother and 90 other kids and he was THISCLOSE to kissing me i was so excited!!!!

    but he didnt..because on the last day flying back home he told me he was gay

    and hes ignored my phonecalls since

    its been 9 months

    i cant get over him

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    Is it normal? Yes, particularly for high school aged kids. It's just *easier* to be BFFs with a straight girl when you're the token gay guy. You're safe and fun and we don't have to worry about falling for you like we might with a guy friend. As for healthy...well, that depends on you. If you want him as more than a friend and he knows that and continues to treat you like a non-sexual girlfriend then that's a problem. It's a problem he very likely doesn't recognise (I didn't when I was younger), but a problem nonetheless. Now, if you really are ok with just being friends then I don't see why it wouldn't be healthy. If he's not using you as a beard, you're both comfortable with the level of attachment, and neither of you will completely dump the other when a hot boy comes around you're fine.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    The "abuse" he throws at you isn't wholly his fault. (Yes, it is to some extent, but the point is that he feels he needs to hide his sexuality). And you don't have to date to still be good friends-- I'm sure he likes you a little bit, or he wouldn't have dated you lol. As a gay guy, I can tell you that I have dated some really nice girls. Seriously, they were awesome, but it was me, it wasn't them.

    A girl I once dated broke up with me, and after some head trauma, forgot about that, thought we were dating and it was a huge mess, mainly because of the whole "being gay" thing. It can be difficult and frustrating to get over someone, but it's better in the long run. What if you would've went on for years with this guy-- had kids, etc-- and then he told you. Imagine the magnitude of problems that would bring. It's better in the long run. In the long run, I think you'll want to friends with him. You wouldn't have made a commitment to him if you didn't think it was worth it.

  • 1 decade ago

    The "abuse" he throws at you isn't wholly his fault. (Yes, it is to some extent, but the point is that he feels he needs to hide his sexuality). And you don't have to date to still be good friends-- I'm sure he likes you a little bit, or he wouldn't have dated you lol. As a gay guy, I can tell you that I have dated some really nice girls. Seriously, they were awesome, but it was me, it wasn't them.

    A girl I once dated broke up with me, and after some head trauma, forgot about that, thought we were dating and it was a huge mess, mainly because of the whole "being gay" thing. It can be difficult and frustrating to get over someone, but it's better in the long run. What if you would've went on for years with this guy-- had kids, etc-- and then he told you. Imagine the magnitude of problems that would bring. It's better in the long run. In the long run, I think you'll want to friends with him. You wouldn't have made a commitment to him if you didn't think it was worth it.

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  • 1 decade ago

    If he abuses you, then you should absolutely not be his friend. You need to talk to someone about it, whether it's verbal or physical abuse. Both are completely unacceptable. Although it may not seem like it, it is probably a good thing for your sake that he ended up being gay because it is not healthy to be in an abusive relationship. You need to realize that any decent person worthy of your love will not harm you mentally or physically. Try avoiding him, but if that doesn't work, then you need to talk to someone, such as a teacher, a parent, or a school counselor.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well it sounds like the guy you were dating was a douche in the first place - even if he wasn't actually into you, there's no reason to "treat [you] terribly" for it. Eventually I think you'll just be able to move on - obviously I'm not a chick, so I can't really help in that regard. I hope you feel better soon. :/

  • 1 decade ago

    My first husband was closet gay. I'm bi so I was attracted to his artistic sensitive side.

    The abuse, just my opinion, comes from his fighting his sexuality. If you love him, wish him happiness, even if it's only in your heart. Know that he was never going to have a good relationship with a girl.

    I hope this helps.

  • 1 decade ago

    drop him like a hot potato. Cut him out like a cancer. Wash that man right out of your hair. No worries !

  • 1 decade ago

    im sorry to hear. hes not worth it if hes treating u bad. =(

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