My wife and I are recently separated but before we actually did separate she met a man on craigslist...?

OK, in my opinion our separation was a chance for us to back off, be apart a bit, and then at some point TRY and reconcile. My wife, as I mentioned, was secretly already seeing someone for about a month before I actually moved out of the house. Here is the deal, and please be gentle with me... I love my wife... show more OK, in my opinion our separation was a chance for us to back off, be apart a bit, and then at some point TRY and reconcile.

My wife, as I mentioned, was secretly already seeing someone for about a month before I actually moved out of the house.

Here is the deal, and please be gentle with me... I love my wife very very much. We have two beautiful children together. I was not giving my wife what she needed emotionally and she has found a man who is at least for now, doing what I did not do. He seems to be saying ALL the right things to her, doing ALL the right things, making her feel ALL the right things.

Yes, it could be for real but read on for the full picture...

It seems like this relationship, rebound or not, is moving a breakneck speed with talk of LTR.

Now of course I know that ANYTHING can happen but someone tell me how I handle this situation with the intention of getting my wife back and salvaging our marriage!

Please don't respond with cruel comments and negativity. I need some real advice on what to do.

Should I let this thing run its course and see what happens afterward?

Should I take my lumps for being a poor husband, learn from this and hope that when this quickly intense relationship is over that we could maybe work things out?

Should I do something sneaky like start seeing someone also to provoke jealously? (probably not, huh?)

Should I file for divorce and see if that makes her come running back or if it makes her happy? Then at least I might know where I stand?

More details: when they first started chatting in emails he was separated but had not yet filed for divorce. He did file shortly after they met (this was already planned) and his divorce was final about 10 days ago.

This was his second marriage that just ended ten days ago and before it was over he was getting serious with another woman, my wife.

This was his recently divorced wife's second marriage as well (don't know if that matters).

My wife has only been married once, to me.

My wife seems in no hurry to divorce me and make a life with this guy right away BUT things have moved ahead so quickly between them that the relationship has all of the signs of some form of a rebound.

I deeply and sincerely want to reconcile with my wife and I believed that that was the purpose of our deciding to separate. That is the reason I agreed to separate in the first place; so that we could reconcile.

Again, only constructive ideas? Remember there are children involved so ignoring her or NOT SEEING HER AT ALL for a month or so is really out of the question for us. We have to see each other if for nothing else to spend time with kiddos and/or trade off with the kids.

Thanks in advance for your help!

If you are a Believer, then when you consider praying for me and our relationship? God bless you!
10 answers 10