Under what circumstances is adultery forgiven?

And under what circumstances would you resort to adultery yourself to satisfy your basic physiological needs of being loved which is not met?

Example:

When a spouse becomes a homosexual?

When a spouse has never been able to perform sexually for the past two decades of marriage?

When a spouse has bipolar disorder and refuses to seek treatment?

When a spouse become emotionally abusive?

When a spouse has periodic outburst and break things in the house?

When the kids are still young and divorce may be detrimental to their growing up with only one parent?

When... ?

Update:

I am just challenging my sanity. But will God ever forgive an adulterer?

Update 2:

God's forgiveness matters most.

22 Answers

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  • oldman
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It is for us to forgive all people for all things, Father will forgive who He will. As for an excuse to commit adultery, there isn't any.

  • lena
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    According to scriptures...whore mongers and adulterers God will judge, as only he can. He has already said we are forgiven of all sin except blasphemy, which means saying or calling God a liar.

    So everything else is in the persons free will to allow certain behaviors, they must come to the knowledge is it God's will? but they can certainly strive to come to a level of healing and forgiveness, which above all is what I believe God wants. He has asked us to forgive, it's up to us. He wants us to be healed from the hurts of life, both physically and emotionally. I think we as Christians do a disservice to each other in counseling when it comes to child abuse, spouse abuse, physical abuse, and adultery, by allowing hurting people to continue to hurt because we think it's what God would want. Are we really saving the family, or saving face?

    Every situation has a story that I believe even God says No More, go in peace, I have a better plan for you.

  • 1 decade ago

    Adultery is a moral issue and so that would make forgiveness something very personal and each person's choice. Adultery is done for far more reasons than you have listed and sometimes it is done just because it can be done. If you believe in God, you must believe in forgiveness. Forgiving adultery should be a given but that doesn't mean you stay in a relationship or that your trust in that person isn't shattered. Your forgive someone that harms you because if you don't forgive, you harm yourself far worse than the adulterer could ever do.

  • 1 decade ago

    Never forgiven

    1 if my spouse was a homosexual a divorce would happen real soon.

    2 If my spouse couldn't perform then there are other means for loving and satisfaction.

    3 Bi polar well that would need to be looked at closer that's really no excuse for not satisfying and showing love to a partner. Divorce may need to be discussed here.

    4 No excuse for emotional abuse in my eyes. An out burst would need to be cleared up and an understanding come to. Wow the making up could be very nice. Repeated abuse then divorce is in the air.

    5 similar answer to 4

    6 Why stay together for the kids sake . What a miserable life and it would still affect the children.

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  • E-ma
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Between two people, it's forgiven out of love that binds. It's knowing that people err & you're not willing to sacrifice a whole marriage over mistakes & bad choices. And some of those will cause a whole lot of pain & suffering. But why end the marriage? It's not like you're given a guarantee that the next person you shack up with will not hurt you in some other form, if not by adultery.

    Between me & YHWH, I have forgiveness when I repent & sin no more.

    The love that binds comes from knowing God is the author of my marriage. He is the top entity in in our marriage. It's not just my husband & myself. We are in covenant with Him, too.

    My husband & I have both caused each other unspeakable pains with some very bad choices that affected both of us when at the time it seemed like no one would be hurt. (I'm not just talking adultery here, it can be anything.) What really got us through was when he made a statement like, "I know I hurt you & you hate me, but can't you hate me later & let me help you with your pain right now?" It may sound stupid (outside the context of the situation), but when I heard those words, they made sense. That is what is meant by "for better or worse." Just b/c there is pain does not mean that love stops. Just b/c a vow is broken does not mean that there can't be reconciliation. We both see that we try so hard to honor the other in all of our thoughts an actions, but sometimes sh!t happens. And we work it through but we always have to go to God 1st to help us get our hearts and our minds right to give us the strength to work together to recover from what injury we caused. But I can't speak for marriages where both parties are not willing to put in the effort to make things work.

    I could forgive adultery, but I'm not sure I would not stay in marriage where the other person didn't care that it hurt me & wasn't even interested in trying to stay faithful. One person can not "work" a marriage, they can only remain living in the same house if it came to that.

    I guess I'm so adamant b/c we've seen our share of all the possibilities that can strain a marriage & people have been so quick to use the word divorce with either of us. But I believe the working THROUGH troubles is what makes us stronger. Not avoiding & running away from them. There is no growth of character there.

    But as I said, it takes two. I can't let an abusive spouse keep beating me until I'm so injured I can't care for my children. I can forgive & divorce to a safe place & never allow him anywhere near me.

    I can forgive a spouse learning he's not the heterosexual man I married & divorce him to live his own life (probably still as friends).

    I don't know why some people look at marriage as some magic bubble that shields them from life's crisis'. Bad things ARE going to happen. It's up to the couple how the choose to face these times. I've learned I don't need trust people b/c everyone is going to let someone down at least one time at some point in their life. BUT I have learned that I can trust God & He will make my relationships right when those times come.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    There is another alternative..... you do not have to resort to adultery..... you could get a divorce. You think that living with this man who is emotionally abusive, has outbursts and throws thing won't be detrimental to their growing up. Too much emphasis is put on having "2 PARENTS". It is much better fro kids to grow up with one GOOD parent.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I really don't believe I could! I mean forgive that is, or maybe I mean forget!Forgive? Yes I have forgiven many things, but forgot no!Adultery to me is breaking a solemn trust another puts in you and truly I believe it would never be the same regardless of what others tell you.

  • Moe
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Never, marriage is a commitment. If you don't want to be with that person, get a divorce. Kids know what is going on, and it will scar them for life. Get away and star anew. Give them a chance to enjoy life with out all the trauma. They will thank you for it later. There are a lot of single parents out there and they have all raised their kids alone.

    I can not stand these bleeding heart women that stand by their man. They have some psychological problem that they need to resolve them selves. I say kick them to the curb.

  • 1 decade ago

    When the one suffering from it finds forgiveness and can live with it and really forgive!! My dad and mom stayed together for "the kids"...soon as the last one walked out the door they divorced!! Needless to say us kids suffered!!! Dr.'s will tell you if they're with a content parent they also will be!! I wished my folks would have divorced when we were little!!! It was a living hell and I'd wish that on no kid!!!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    While I did have extramarital affairs, it was with the consent of my ex wife. So that in itself is not adultery. In the beginnings of the marriage she said, Charlie you go for it, but don't fall in love. This is no lie.

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