Under what circumstances is adultery forgiven?

And under what circumstances would you resort to adultery yourself to satisfy your basic physiological needs of being loved which is not met?

Example:

When a spouse becomes a homosexual?

When a spouse has never been able to perform sexually for the past two decades of marriage?

When a spouse has bipolar disorder and refuses to seek treatment?

When a spouse become emotionally abusive?

When a spouse has periodic outburst and break things in the house?

When the kids are still young and divorce may be detrimental to their growing up with only one parent?

When... ?

12 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Homosexual=divorce, so no cheating required.

    Unable to perform=probably divorce.

    Bipolar and refuses treatment=divorce.

    Emotionally abusive=maybe, I don't know.

    Temper tantrums=maybe, I don't know.

    Young kids=maybe, I don't know.

    I would hope that I would speak up, and figure out how to deal with the situation openly, productively, and in a way that is sustainable, but I'm just being honest. Those are tough circumstances.

    And, adultry is forgiven when the person who was betrayed decides to do so. I feel like people who have a solid history of being loving, honest, respectful, and kind should be forgiven, but it's up to each couple, and whether or not they have anything to salvage, I suppose.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I wouldn't. If I felt adultery were my only option then I'd divorce him first.

    you list numerous items that are divorable offenses, both legally and from a religious standpoint.

    1. when a spouse is announces s/he is homosexual--divorce. Your marriage is a fraud and invalid because your spouse misrepresented him or herself to you.

    2. When a spouse has *never* been able to perform sexually---why did you marry him/her to start w/? This isn't a situation where a health issue comes up later and prevents him/her from functioning sexually. this is a case of where the person has *never* been able to perform sexually. If you like and want sex, why did you marry someone who could not consumate your marriage? I wouldn't have married this person to begin with.

    3. when a spouse has a serious medical problem that has the potential to make them a danger to you and any children in the home and they refuse to take care of themselves then you are justified in ending the marriage to protect yourself and any children. Also from a religious standpoint, in the case of the bipolar spouse, if he/she was not under proper medical care at the time of the wedding took place then he/she was not fit or competent to take vows and the marriage is not valid.

    4. When a spouse becomes emotionally abusive then they have broken their vows (most religions recognize adultery, abuse, and addicition as valid reasons for ending a marriage because the adulterer, abuser, or addict has broken the vows. When vows have been broken then the marriage is invalid.)

    5. periodic outbursts and breaks things indicates an abusive personality who is using terroristic threats to control their household or this is someone who is mentally ill. Again we are seeing either an abuser who has broken his/her vows or someone who may not have been mentally competent to get married.

    6. When the kids are still young and they are living in conditions you described in your previous circumstances then they are more traumatized by the parents remaining married than they will be by the parents divorcing. The only way you can claim to be staying together for the sake of the children and have it being a good thing for them is if you are able to genuinely fake being happy to be married to each other. Part of your job as a parent is to show your children how to have a successful relationship. Children learn what they live and they usually recreate their parents' marriage when they grow up and get married. If you have a marriage you would be happy for your children to have then stay. But if you wouldn't want your children to have your marriage then you owe it to them how to end a marriage that was a mistake.

    7. When? adultery is never justified but divorce can be. divorce is a last resort for issues that can't be resolved. I'm always amazed that people can justify or put no thought into committing an act that invalidates their vows and in effect ends their marriage in spirit yet they fear dissolving a marriage legally that is broken beyond repair or that should have never taken place to start with.

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  • 1 decade ago

    None of the above. Being wronged by spouse does not give you right to cheat on him. Divorce is the proper way and start new life in peace.

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  • chacoa
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I would say, only in situations where it's clear the marriage is already over, and the paperwork isn't finished yet. Such as if one person is homosexual, or isn't able to have sex, or is an abusive person who permanently ruined the relationship.

    But it's not OK if the spouse just doesn't like to have sex that often, or occasionally starts a fight, since in those cases the marriage isn't going to be over with soon.

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  • 1 decade ago

    There are no circumstances in which I would commit adultery. I've been through the wringer with my marriage...and NEVER, did I cheat or even consider it. I will not stoop to the level of a cheating whore.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    NEVER. Unlike some neanderthals I actually mean what I say in my marital vows. There is no excuse for adultery, NONE.

    People will make up any stupid excuse to cheat these days it seems.

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  • Kate
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Never. If you are going to sleep with someone else at least get a divorce first.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    First find the cause of the adultery. Adultery is usually a reaction to some other big problem that hasn't been addressed.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Personally for me NEVER!!!

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  • To me- never

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