Slept with my best friends boyfriend! what is wrong with me!!?

ive done the most stupidest thing. i slept with my best friends boyfriend. the 3 of us used to work together, and her and i became really good friends then they started dating, i didnt like him and didnt really approve of him. she made a point that she wanted he and i to be friends so that the 3 of us could hang... show more ive done the most stupidest thing. i slept with my best friends boyfriend. the 3 of us used to work together, and her and i became really good friends then they started dating, i didnt like him and didnt really approve of him. she made a point that she wanted he and i to be friends so that the 3 of us could hang out all the time. we did, i started to see him as an older brother, he became a close friend to me. one night the 3 of us got really drunk, she wanted to have a 3some, i said no but it ended up happening because i was just too drunk to to stop it. the day after that happened her boyfriend and he felt really awkward around eachother, and for messd up reason we thought that it would clear the air if we had sex just one last time. we had sex together behind her back and i felt incredibly bad about it. i had only had sex once before him, and i liked it he was good, hormones took over and 2 days later he and i were hanging out alone just having a drink, we werent really drunk, but were a lil tipsy. we decided to do it just one more time. after that nothing happened between us at all for 2 weeks. i felt terribly bad for betraying my best friend like that. and i was disgusted with myself. but once again hormones took over both of us, and we ended up doing it one more time. we were at my house and she was at work. she came to my house on her break, while we were having sex, she looked through the window, saw his shoes in the livving room, she knew something was going on so she broke through the window, he heard her and hide in the closet, i pretended to be aslepp. she found him. she was so angry. i couldnt tell her enough how sorry i was. i know ive lost her friendship forever, and that complelty tears at my heart, but i know i deserve it for what ive done. i feel like such a horrible horrible person. but the most f'ed up part is that i think he and i would have continued this if we had not been caught. after being caught and seeing her reaction ive realizzedjust how wrong it was. and can honestly say that it will never happen again. what does this say about me as a person? im such a lowlife for doing this to her. i cant even imagine the pain she is going through and it kills me to see her hurt, i really wished i would have thought about all this before anything happened between me and him...
10 answers 10