Confused over what to do with my suicidal teenage daughter?
Hello again, I have posted a question before but I'd like some solid advice.
My daughter does not like anyone touching her, does not like to be bothered and spends all of her time alone even when we have company. It is as if she lives in her own little world. Amongst other things, I've found quite disturbing images on her computer.
Today, I was looking at her calendar on her iPod to check out when her driver's ed appointment was, and I saw written "kill self" as a task for yesterday. Of course she didn't, but I found that a bit odd to place on a calendar.
Last night she, my husband and I were having an argument over dinner. It lasted around two hours, she was in bed the entire time because when my husband started trying to reason with her over dinner, she was already in bed. This was around 10:30. It ended shortly before 1 AM, and my husband and I went to bed around half an hour later. As I passed by her room, I could hear her crying violently (yet not loud enough to be heard except right outside her door) and whispering what sounded like "please kill me," to herself. I don't know how long this went on but I went into her room before I went to work in the morning and she was not crying.
She argues constantly and is constantly belittling me. It really takes a toll on my self-esteem. I am a bit sensitive and she knows that, yet she never stops arguing, she has even said on a few occasions that she hates me. She wakes me up when I'm meant to go to work, claiming that she feels sick but can't talk loud enough for me to hear (I wear earplugs in the morning) explaining it, so when I tell her to speak up she just leaves. She does this multiple times and after a while, I admit I get very angry. I have said things about her being worthless, lazy, trashy, sl*tty and that I hate living with her but it was always after an argument. When I do get physical with her it rarely leaves bruises, if it does they are usually not even very large. I've played mind games with her and manipulated memories she has but the reason I am saying this is because I am a changed person. I am getting help and have been in therapy for two months.
Anyway, I have no idea what to do with my daughter. I've been logging her chats for the past few weeks and she's still talking to the older men, I've even found some disgusting personal pictures of theirs on her Received Files folder. I have no idea if she sends them anything, but I don't know how to stop all of this. Kids need the internet, they need their internet, if not for fun for school.
My daughter is 16 now, almost an adult. Any advice appreciated. If you want more information, here is my older question: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ApSRz...
- ozboz48Lv 71 decade agoBest Answer
You've already posted this question, and I'm going to give you the same answer I did before.
You have a seriously troubled daughter who is at risk for suicide.
I suggest you stop asking strangers for advice and get your daughter to the doctor before you lose her.
- 1 decade ago
Ya know I have been in your shoes and hers. I remember when I was young my mom used to tell me how much she hated me and she wished I was never born. It really made me feel low and worthless and yes even suicidal. Now I am an adult with my own kids and have a 6 yr old son that tells me all time he hate me and I am mean. You need to find a good day when you two are getting along and have a girls day out, maybe a movie or shopping. And explain to her at you are very sorry for what has happened in the past and ask for a new beginning. Maybe even try to get her to go to a therapist, to see someone to talk to get things off her mind. Right now is 16? She is at the age that she thinks you are stupid and do not understand her an her life. Most therapists will give some type of meds, maybe Xanex and something to help her with her deression. If you are not careful she may really try to kill herself. It will be better to try to make things right then to sit by and have regrets later. Good luck and may god bless you and watch over your baby girl.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
How long has it been since you looked at her and told her you loved her and really meant it? She needs you and she needs your love. No matter what you are still her mother and you really should act like one. Stop arguing with her, when she says something outrageous don't reply. Don't say anything. If she says "I hate you" say "I am sorry you feel that way, I really love you" and mean it. When she comes to you in the morning, apparently you hear what she is saying or at least you know a little of it because of what you said "She wakes me up when I'm meant to go to work, claiming that she feels sick but can't talk loud enough for me to hear", take the friggin earplugs out and talk to her NICELY! BABY HER! She is your child, she is a part of you no matter how old she gets.
Furthermore, about the "changing" thing. Teens tend to be a bit cynical when it comes to parents "changing". Have you proven to her that you have "changed"?
NEVER EVER get physical with her! It shows her that you in no way respect her as a human being or as your daughter. How exactly is she supposed to cherish her own life or respect her parents if her own mother belittles her in that manner?
I apologize if I seem harsh, but I have been on her side of the issue.
- 1 decade ago
It sounds like she is begging for attention from you, and not the kind that leaves bruises. Stop belittling her, shes looking for approval at this age--she needs it and will go elsewhere for it if she has to. Where's Dad in all this? BTW, shes not almost an adult, not by a long shot.
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- 1 decade ago
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
you've found evidence that she's suicidal and you
call her names
go through her stuff
and don't pay attention to her.
first off STOP HITTING HER!
and then you know she's suicidal you're not really upping her reasoning on whether to live or not by you, her own mother, calling her names. mothers are supposed to love and comfort their children. next stop going through her ****. it's not yours. and when she says she sick actually listen to her maybe she'll stop couping herself up if you give her a little attention. then get her help. a therapist. hospital. couselor. something. you found out your daughter could potentially kill herself and you just sit around like a *****. im not mad at you because of what you wrote here and from what i ASSUME. im mad because ive been through almost this exact same thing. the first time i tell anyone ive tried to kill myself my family tells me im a terrible person. STOP IT!
that's all ive got to say and i hope that everything changes for the better. at least i hope everything changes for the better for her.Source(s): im 14 and went through almost the exact same thing recently.
- Aakash KLv 51 decade ago
look im a 14 year old boy and from a teen to a 16 year old teen she needs a little bit of discussion from you guys sit down with her talk to her nicely and act like that for a while and see if it works dont worry it will just try for like 3 weeks and see if it works if it doesent then get a conciser
- 1 decade ago
well i would try giving her a little more space and some free time. let her have more freedom and i would highly suggest that you stop getting physical and reading her personal stuff. when she comes to you saying that she is sick take out your ear plugs and at least just look and sound concerned. try to show her that you care about her.
- 1 decade ago
Sounds like My mom and my sister's relationship. My mom took my sister to a psychiatrist and they but her in a mental home because she wouldnt cooperate and when she got out she acted so much different. They had put her own some medecines I know one was Celexa, an anti-depressant and it helps her greatly! I hope this helps you.Source(s): my life
- 1 decade ago
well honey sorry to tell you but ... SHE'S A TEENAGER her emotions are THROUGH the roof right now. you telling her she's slu--tty and trashy and lazy is NOT the way to make her feel comfortable areound you! gosh if my mother did that to me I think that I wouldn;t be happy either. have you ever thought she needs someone to talk to.
Get her a counsler. you APOLOGIZE! and if your "fragile" think of her!! how you not being strong enough makes her weak to.
- LadyCatherineLv 71 decade ago
she's trying to talk to you and you are wearing ear plugs and you tell her to speak up.. ever thought about TAKING THE EAR PLUGS OUT!!
you have admitted to treating her like crap and now you wonder why she is the way she is.. come on.....
she is 16 and NO she is not almost and adult..
two months ant crap with it comes to therapy.. ALL of you need to go..and FAST..