Can my ex who stopped seeing my son more than two years ago of his own free will just start again?

He hasn't paid child support in more than a year. Before that a few payments here or there, because he couldn't hold a job. He stopped seeing my son of his own free will, though now he says that I never answered the door. That is not true. After two months of him not showing up, I gave up. When his dad, my son's grandfather showed up to see him, he told me that he had been told that I wasn't letting him, and he said that he would have to set him straight. I let my son's grandfather take him and even keep him overnight. When we had to move suddenly though, they did not know. However, child support knew and he needed only to contact them to find out where we lived. He said that his life wasn't in order and he was straightening it out. Anyone else think that isn't my problem and that he should have still been a dad regardless of whatever he was dealing with. Real parents don't push aside their children because they are having problems. He says he is happy that I have taken care of my son in this time, and that he has many presents waiting for him. He claims that he has contacted a lawyer and he was told that he can. If you say that I need to contact a lawyer myself, do you know if there are lawyers in Ohio, yeah that is our state, that will do it for free, or at least not too expensive?


Okay people, forget about the child support. I added that for details. The question is can my ex just come back after more than two years of not seeing him of his own free will?

Update 2:

Well I was under the impression that he could just ask them. However, put that aside; I had no way of contacting the jerk to let him know I was moving.

Update 3:

It seems you people just aren't understanding. I had no way of telling the dipshit that I was moving because I did not have his contact information and he stopped coming around.

14 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    You are not telling a full story here.

    But let's try anyway.

    If the father of your son is ready to have consistent responsible roll in his life, it behooves you as his mother to make sure that happens.

    If you spend time in any way punishing him for the absence of those 2 years, you will be hurting you beautiful son more than anyone else...and for what what?

    hiring a lawyer is just a legal way to mete out revenge on each other.

    It sounds like you believe in child ransom not child support.

    You two both need to let go of any animosity you have for each other and raise this child in love.

  • 1 decade ago

    I know you don't want this answer but....I believe he can and should see your son.

    Legally it would depend on your court order for custody/visitation. Morally it would just be the right thing to let them see each other. I think if you are both reasonable there will be no need for lawyers

    Your ex may have been going through much more than you know of.

    Even if he wasn't going through a great deal, he made the decision not to see your son or pay child support but that does not mean he is not a "real parent".

    No matter what he's done or hasn't done he still is your boy's father.

    Resentment and bitterness will eat you up.

    Child support and visitation are two completely different issues.

    Children need both parents.

    And above all, if you truly care about your son and I'm sure you do, don't make him feel like a piece of taffy being pulled in two directions.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yes, he can start seeing his son again. He should pay child support but that should not be a reason to not allow him to see his son.

    You said you had to move suddenly and child support knew your address that doesn't matter if the other parent didn't know. Child support does not release address information to any party. Does the child want to see him? If the answer is yes, try remembering this. You are the child's mom, not your ex's mom and he does have a right to see his child.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Due to other responses I have had to revise my statement/answer. I am disgusted by most of the responses. You want facts. I have them. If your ex mister just now chooses to have responsibility for your child. Too effin bad. Take his slimy stuff to court. Make him fight for it. He probably has met some girl that is on to him for not taking responsibility for his first born so now he is claiming up. Make him pay up before he ever sees your little girl/boy. We, as women don't get to choose when to "soldier up" so neither should the "boys". Have him sign a form to forfeit all rights, from the sounds of it you and the baby would be better off. OR, he can pay back all that is warranted in child support. If he does that, sure, he should be able to see his baby. I just wonder why it took him this long to man up.

    And to the poster "BAD", I agree, women should be on birth control, but men, especially if they don't want to reproduce should put the party hat on!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Visitation and support are unrelated. He is required to pay support even if he never visits. And he can visit even if he never pays support. If he's not meeting his responsibilities, then you can take it to court to enforce it, but you have no authority to modify his visitation. (In fact, the problem of unpaid support is so widespread that most states have a department strictly to enforce it without cost to the custodial parent.)

    Additionally, continued visitation is not contingent upon any history of previous visitation. Only in the case of potential (provable) harm to the child can you petition the court to modify or prohibit visitation.

    If you need a lawyer to petition the court and you're unable to afford one, check under Legal Aid in your phone book. They're publicly funded and will consider your case using several criteria. From what you've described, I doubt that they'll do it. Dads are not required to be role models as long as they're not outright physically harmful to the child.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    child support and visits are two different issues. yes he is wrong for not paying but you would be doing more harm to the child for not allowing him to spend as much time as possible with his father. you will never be able to fill the gap between father and son not even with another man. so many woman out of anger, stupidity or new love harm their children by using them as pawns. its all about the child not you. you chose to lie down with this man now you need to deal with it till the child is eighteen weather or not the child is paying child support! do the right thing for the child's sake.

  • 1 decade ago

    Is the vistation court ordered? is the child support court ordered?

    if yes then talk with your case worker about getting the child support he owes.does your state not lock up fathers who dont pay? strange if not.if it has been 2 years that he hasnt seen him/her then most states allow you to gain sole custody, but then you get no child thing to do is talk with your case worker, because he/she will know your state laws better than most of us.if none of it is court ordered then conatct child support enforcement and see what they can help you with.and there are angencies out there that do cases like this for free, just google it by your county or city.

  • dotto
    Lv 4
    3 years ago

    you will possibly desire to leave now. If for not the rest then for the sake of your infants. What happens if he pushes you returned and your abdomen gets injury inflicting a miscarriage? might you have the means to stay with your self understanding that in case you had left you will have prevented it? circulate homestead on your mothers and fathers or in case you are able to not try this for some reason, to a kin or an extremely close acquaintances homestead.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Answers here aren't helping much are they. . .

    The simplest thing you can do is go talk to Ohio's Child Support Services. They can explain your rights and responsibilities to you. This is free.

    Here's the web site:

  • xoxo
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Yep, that's the price you pay when you choose to have kids with guys who don't want em. However let me explain this...child support has NOTHING to do with visitation. He doesn't ever have to pay you $$$ to see his own son.

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