I am too scared to even ask for help...?...sorry it's a bit long.?
well here goes...Over the last while I have become aware that as "fun" as I am to be out with or as amusing as I am told I am, that nobody takes me seriously. My closer friends and flatmate know there is more to me but kinda encourage it..and I know many people trhough them. My flat mate recently had a baby and everyone who is anyone at the phone or the door is for her..which is fine and understqndable..but the place is not really mine anymore..i feel like just the funny flatmate , or one to take the joke out of, and i think some think I am a bit thick. But I just know different stuff to them and go along with things and jokes..because as opposed to a comeback I can't think of iys easier than bursting intos tears. The thing is I am struggling to work the hours I do as a nursery nurse, come home to a baby and many visitors..some who I know and some who I do not.my flatmate always had all the friends in the world even before she knew she was pregnant..been cutting her slack this whole time, and now she is a new mother..still cutting her slack. she always has been centre stage..this baby gave he every more reason to be that. she even said, you will be going out less now because i always give everyone a bg laugh and a good night..she had so many frrends before and after the birth..most of whom she has met while drunk most probably..it does not matter to anyone she did a one night stand, does not know who the father is..they sing her praises as a mother from the rooftops as she does her own..but threy do not live with her. I am not discrediting her, nor am i wanting the attention myself..but it's pretty much become her place now, an next month returns with her little brother and sister for a month..who are kids...!!
People may joke about me..and if i ahve had a tiring day at work don't escape from getting the adam's family theme tune sung to me..my motto is now to be told if i am tired that.."i look like a corpse". But i have become aware of these things about myself since about january that I am so feeling now, not at home, hard working, yet isolated and all the while that I am more stupid or less educated than I realised?..or pretty much dumb. One of my good friends who is not like that with me loves doing pub quizzes and she is very smart, but i have alomst said i wana stop going..but i can't think of an excuse to refuse now..it is like our regular thing..maybe in time it will teach me new things!
If i had the time or money to become really smart I would..it has always taken me a bit of time to learn new things..so if i dnt get the time i guess i have had it..problem is now though, i feel so depressed, worthless and now suicidal...but I can't just listen to what I should do tgo get help..my doctor won't even give me meds..just told to go back and check in every now and then..and a list of numbers or centres not even on the health service..she wil not even refer me!! It makes me feel like i sometimesd already question..am i even worthy of help? am i simply just a joke...i really just feel I can't open up to anyone because it's not fair and end of the day if i was to save myself what do I have to offer the world? I am just a joke.
sorry if this does not flow too well, just hard trying to put it together..i can phrase things properly!
I feel need to add that , I never knew she was pr that she only had pregnant, nor did she when we signed the lease..she found out a month later that she only had 3 mths to go. I had to sta good friend y and had to support her. what good friend wouldn't right?
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Hey there, You need to open up to someone, a close friend, relative, someone on yahoo answers. You need to talk to a particular person, not just once but over time, someone whom will be supportive and positive that you will slowly open yourself up too I know that is going to be hard, and if you dont trust openign up with someone that you know make sure its just someone on yahoo answers o a net buddy or something-i mean whats the harm in talking to somebody who has no idea who you are, has never met you, will never meet you yah know?. If you feel that you cant do this, write in a journal, it facilitates self-honesty and will help you pinpoint exactly what the problem is, Dont not write something because when you see it you feel like its stupid, or embarased write down all of your true feelings and your experiences-It will help.- If you can be both open up to a person and your journal would be best, but that is up to you. Youll be confronted with things that you dont like, which you would normally just dismiss from your thoughts but the key to getting over this is by embracing who you are, your issues, also allowing you to rationallly decide what is best for you. Dont let anyone put you down, your to good for that, think positive about yourself, your saying youve got no purpose but your being a good friend-your helping people out! Your self esteem is the only thing putting you down
Also set yourself goals aswell,...to remidn you that you can achieve anything (because you can if you just set your mind to it), small at first,like spending a little bit more time with your friends, or maybe with your family, maybe trying to slowly let go of your insecurities, imagine if you didnt care what anybody thought about you, how good would that be, or maybe just walking you dog or going for a run. you want to be smarter? -read a book-pick an area of interest to you- math, history, religion, take a course? everyone is good at something, You can learn things all you have to do is be in the right state of mind say to yourself "I can" not "I cant"
Get into exorcising, preferably team sports but if not just a light jog in the arvos, IT takes your mind off problems its a great way of relieving stress. Remember that if we on yahoo answers are worried about you when we sers dont even know you then the people whom you live with/go to school with/hang out with truly love you and care for you and will support you.
Lastly many depressed teens fall into the cycle you are experiencing now, drugs, excessive alcahol, sex all the things that temporarily relieve. I myself almost did. If you work to sort out your issues you wont have to rely on these things to escape the reality of your issues. Think to yourself, does anything good really come out of doing these things...you know the answer...it provides temporarily relief but if you continue you, as you already pointed out it will only make matters worse, make you feel worse, your grades will be worse etc etc etc
And if you accept Jesus into your heart, if you understand him, you will have the strength to overcome this on your own, all you have to do is believe. So pray to God because hes out there and he loves you. There is so much proof that The lord exists that you will see if you have an open mind. If you follow him you will have an even greater purpose-fulfulling Gods work- there is nothing more important. If you would like to hear about how I know please ask.
If your feel that you should see someone professional, then go to a different doc if this one isnt coughing up the referals that you need. Your worthy of help :) your doc is just retarded
ummm yeh email me if you want to talk
Hang in there! times will get better :)
p.s sorry bout spelling and grammar
- 1 decade ago
Purchasing more education is not what you need to be considering. You are addressing your feelings of self-worth as it relates to the basic organization of your life. It seems like you have been questioning how others perceive you for quite some time now and it is affecting your self esteem. The situation with your flatmate is merely aggravating a condition which is already there. You feel the need to change who you are, but really what you really need is some perspective and guidance. I don't know you but you don't sound like a bad person. Your feelings of worthlessness aren't derived from guilt or regret. They are just a result of your learned behavior and its interaction with the direction your life has taken.
You should really make it a priority to get some Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Screw your doctor and get a psychiatrist. Well, don't actually screw your doctor. You'd be amazed how many people undergo CBT (with or without a coinciding medication) and live happier lives. Most are embarrased and won't admit they have emotional or mental issues, but it is quite common I assure you.
And remember. If you can conduct yourself in a way that you can be proud of, a way that lets you look in the mirror without self -loathing stemmed from immoral conduct, than you have no reason to be down on yourself. Other people may judge you, but who are they? Nobody. They are specks of dust on a spec of dust in an infinite universe. You aren't stupid. Education doesn't make somebody intelligent. I can cite a million examples here.
Also, get the hell out of that flat.
- Mister AnswermanLv 71 decade ago
Wow. You really are a passionate and understanding person. She does not realise how lucky she is to have you as a flat mate. You really are smart and self-knowing about things trhat are important.
Perhaps before the lease runs out that you tell her that you are moving to Australia and cannot renew the lease with her.
She will say one of two things -
"that's okay, I'm moving in with one of my friends soon anyway." Or
"Oh please don't go to Australia. You are my best friend. All those other people are so shallow. They come here and have a lot of fun then they all go home. None of them are really my true friend."
Basically you need to set some ground rules regardless of the baby. Just tell her what you want and what you expect from the shared arrangement.
Don't worry so much about her. Also, the suicidal thoughts are nothing. You are just stressed and are feeling a bit confused about how to approach her without hurting her feelings or spoiling the relationship.
- gingerLv 61 decade ago
first, you need to go back to the doctors and keep going back untill you get help. tell them you are having suicidal thoughts, they will have to help you then. once you get that sorted everything else will be easier to deal with. can you book yourself a holiday? just a few days alone on a beach would help you relax. you need to sit with your flatmate and tell her that you need to be able to relax in your own home.dont let her friends put you down, be more forceful, if this makes you unpopular so be it, these are not your friends so dont worry. its time to reclaim your life, not end it.
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- JodyLv 71 decade ago
You posted this already, most of it word for word, except you added a lot of irrelevent information about your flatmate - slander actually.
I'm not sure what the question is this time.