Mary
Lv 5
Mary asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

My good personality qualities are pushing me in an ocean of sorrow?

Greetings.

Whilst,I am happy that I have good personality qualities,I feel like they are weaken me and turning me into a person that I'm not.I'm a cheery person and although I have been through a lot of difficulties in life,I have always managed to stand up alone on my feet and fight up or otherwise I do it for the sake of others.But I feel that these good qualities are really excessive and uncontrollable for me.

I don't have the proper words to explain my feelings,but I really hope you guys will somehow try to unper hepsd me.I'm too kind that I would rather put myself in pain to see other people happy and feeling ok.For examprevious previous month my grandfather died.He was a very important person for me and my familiars.So I decided not to cry tears and to not show my sadness so that not to make the situation worse.I kept telling them 'Oh he lived a long life of 83 years,everyone dies','we have to celebrate his life' with a smile on my face.But I did not really intend it.I mean it's true,but those weren't words that would Comfort you.I have to be their shoulder,no matter what.I always let everything inside of me for the sake of others and it's killing me from the inside.I am always that person that have to make that smile as if I'm a happy person with no worries at all.Its because people say that I'm the 'light'.The 'light' in a room.So I always have to appear happy.I always have to sacrifice myself.But I have come to a point,where even a simple compliment,saddens me.I don't know why,but it makes me want to cry.I always think of others,before myself which makes me even sadder from the inside but it's my pleasure that I'm not greedy.

I have been experiencing these feelings for a month and more.I do not want to have these good qualities to vanish but I do not want them to be like this anymore.I tried to moderate them,but it's so unnatural and it hurts even more.Moreover,I always ask myself,why I forgave a person that made and is still making my life miserable for five years,but I did forgive this person.Why should I always be like that?I forgave this person with no difficulty.When someone says something against this person,I get hurt.Why is my heart so weak?Why did I have to be like this?What should I do guys?

-By the way,I have got a lot of things to say besides of this but I think that it is enough.

Thank you.

Update:

PS.I 'm not saying I'm a sad person because I'm happy,but there are moments where I fake it up.As mentioned above.

3 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    You have gotten yourself into a lose/lose situation by suppressing your own emotions so much. If you go the other way and STOP showing thoughtfullness and coinsideration for others, THEN you will have to deal with the equally negative emotinal consequences of guilt feelings and lowered self-esteem.

    The solution to your problem is really NOT that complicated. You just need to vent your negative feelings and not let them build up. Then you can face others with a GENUINE smile AND your guilt-free sense of self-esteem still intact.

    By "VENTING" I do NOT mean yelling at or being unkind to others - that would be totally contradictory and self-defeating. I mean find - and firmly INSIST UPON if you cannot easily find on your own - a set period of time ALONE and to yourself every day. (Probably a time in the morning would be best, but any time will do.) During that time, let your tears out. Cry as much as you feel you need to. If you have some of your time left after your tears are exhausted for that "session", then do some meditationg. Sit in a comfortable chair with your arms hanging over the sides and your hands drooping downwards. Picture all the remaining negativity draining out, down through your fingers, througn the floor, going all the way down to the center of the earth - where the earth's molten core burns away the negativity and reverses the polarity of the energy. Sure, it involves using your imagination. I am not even going to say that is what is really happening (but for all we know, it MIGHT be) but what matters, is that it will make YOU feel better!

    Source(s): experience been there, done that and it WORKS!
  • 3 years ago

    A lady that... Isn't snobby and does not feel she's greater than every body else Has well manners, is well mannered Has a great humorousness Doesn't lie cheat or scouse borrow Isn't top upkeep Is bold Is unswerving and maintains her phrase Other than that I might care much less approximately appears.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You can hardly blame other people for leaning on you if you provide a willing shoulder but really you are not helping either them or yourself by pretending to be someone you are not.Be yourself is advice that has come down to us from the Romans and is still valid today.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.