my gf dumped me cuz i hit someone, what do i do :(?
i punched an @sshole and broke his jaw. i went to court yesterday and since im 17 they gave me a huge fine and a ton of community service, plus his hospital bill. and then to make matters worse my gf dumped me :( we have been together for about 6 months and i really like her but she said im too aggressive. i would never hurt her and she knows that but she doesnt like the fact that i get into fights. i cant help it sometimes. i want to get her back...what can i do? do i have any chance
im taking anger manangement classes too
- 1 decade agoBest Answer
i'm going to be honest with you. she is scared of you. simple as that. after witnessing the violence you are capable of she just doesn't trust you. i'm sure of it. especialy after what just happen with chris brown. i can promise you her and her friends have been talking.
i won't become preachy cause that not what u need right not. u want answers. so here goes.
1 you need to figure out how you let somebody make u so mad that u loss ur cool & broke their jaw?
2 you did it in front of you girl friend. is she the type of girl that is impressed with that? ( what can i say some girls like to see that their man can fight)
3 you should get to know her better...see #2
you really should get to know what makes her tick and what turns her off. it seams that fighting does.
it seams like she's not a girl into violence. so that right there would tell me if i want to keep my girl. i need to keep my cool around her.
to many girls are in relationships where they are scared of these boys who are beating them. i can garentee that she knows somebody in a relationship like that and already got the 411 and advice from her situation. or even if she watched a movie or Madea she's gotten some sound advice to stay away from violent men.
ur 17 i can't say i know what type of childhood or raising you've had. but personally i would be a little scared to go out with you too if you react that way in anger. i wouldn't know when you where going to snap on me.
my dad always told me before you marry a guy make sure you know everything you need to know before you marry him. one of those things was to see how he reacts when he's mad.
he said if you've never seen how he reacts in anger then you don't know everything about him yet. he even said to make him mad if you have to. because you need to know how he reacts.
you would have definitely been on my banned list. i would've dropped you like a hot potato if i would have seen you react with violence in anger.
taking anger management classes is a good step.
but gaining her trust back and making her fill secure with you will be harder. how bad do you want her back?
i don't know why you are getting into fight(s). but you are becoming a man you need to learn to act like one. boys fight because they have something to prove. men don't need to. because they are men and they don't have to prove that to anybody. they also know when not to get involved in an argument that will lead to violence. Listen to T.I.'s words on Justin's new song "Gone"
And follow Usher's example. you know how many rappers have dissed usher? notice something else he's never responded. know why? because he's above it. he doesn't have to prove anything. and most of all the ones that dissed him have prison records. i guessed they showed him!
You got to learn how to walk away. they will call you a coward to your face. but will respect you if you keep out of those situations.
if she stuck around you for 6months while you were getting in fights. she must have some feelings for you. you do have a chance of getting her back but she needs to see that you mean what you say when you say "you would never hurt her" because you fighting is hurting her. she's probable scared you're going to get hurt. that hurts her too and makes her worried.
show her that you can be a caring man. someone that she doesn't have to be afraid for or of. do ur community service, go to ur anger management, get a job if you don't have one(that will show her you mean business). start wooing her. get flowers delivered to her. buy her little things. send her gift cards.
i can promise that that will break the ice. if she still has feelings for you she won't be able to resist. let her know she's more important to you then u realize and u will do whatever it takes to make her see that.
and that you're sorry u hurt her. and want to make it up to her.
telling her that might help. write her a letter if she doesn't answer ur calls. and explain all that to her. let her know you're trying.
now if she takes u back. don't go back on ur word. bcause she won't trust u again. she's going to say "yeah right u said that last time"
so be a man and step up to the plate. you can do it. anybody can change their circumstances if they want to bad enough.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
It doesnt matter that you would never hurt HER, she's under the impression that you just like to hurt people in general. It's too overwhelming for her. How does she know that you wouldn't hurt her? What if she were a "@$$h0l3"? You can't get her back for a long time, and during that time, she has to see you change. You gotta find better ways to handle problems! Like seriously get help for your anger issues. Admit it. You have anger issues and if you really cant help it then you need a group or something.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
You said you get into fight(s) which means it happens on a regular basis. Could it be you have anger issues you need to deal with? It's not normal that you are constantly punching someone. She probably feels like you can't handle a situation without resorting to violence and one day it may end up being her. I'm not sure I blame her.
Maybe you need to get some anger management and find out why this keeps happening.
- S*o*SLv 41 decade ago
you need to show her ou have self control- anger issues...
I am sure they are making you take a class. you can go to jail for this if 18. Yea who wants to be a with a man who is touchy- violent. ANyways you may have a chance if you let her know this is a Big wake up call & arent interested in this stuff. Its not worth it- one hit & now look your gonna do community service when you should be hanging out with her! do you blame- her? if you were in her shoes you'd do the same. Give it a few days & call her. or drop by to talk- in person.
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- 1 decade ago
She wants a mature man with self control. You aren't the one. Anyone who chooses violence to resolve differences needs to grow up. Apparently she is a very smart girl.