B.T. asked in HealthDiseases & ConditionsSTDs · 1 decade ago

is it rude to ask people you date if they have stds or hiv?

ok so i am a virgin. i want to start dating, but i am worried about stds. i probably would ask my date if they are a virgin, if they have stds of any kind, and if he would be willing to get tested with me so i can show him i am telling the truth. is that wrong? i think it would be ok since i am offering to get tested myself. i need opinions!! thanks

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  • Lily L
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    It's not wrong. I wouldn't ask the person if they have an STDs. That sounds pretty accusatory. However, It's pretty common to ask someone to get tested before you have sex. I've never known anyone to be offended by it. Just make sure you phrase it in the "we" and "us" way.

    You know, say, "I want US to get tested before WE start having sex just to make sure WE are being safe."

    Also you should probably tell your partner that you will both bring actual copies of the test results for the other person's review.

    You're just being cautious and it's not an insult. Anyone who would take it badly is an idiot and not in touch with reality and the frequency of STDs.

    Please discuss what tests you are to receive. Make sure you get herpes tests if you want. They are not usually included unless you specifically request.

    Also note that he will NOT be tested for HPV. There is no relaible way to test men for HPV, so basically you just have to risk it. I know, that sucks but that is the sexist society we live in.

  • 1 decade ago

    Absolutely not.. It just shows that you are about your health. You should never be ashamed or embarrassed to ask that. If the person cares enough they will understand. Some STD's are not able to be cured so why would you want to compromise your health?? I say if they care enough they will be more then willing to go get tested with you. If they don't they may have something to hide. Please make sure that you loose your virginity to someone who deserves it mama because that's something you will never be able to replace.. Good Luck

  • 1 decade ago

    The day you are too nervous to ask before sex, is the day you will get something.

    You don't necessarily have to ask while at a restaurant or during a movie, but during those moments when you talk for long periods of time about everything over the phone or on a couch at home, you could bring it up while on the subject of sex. It's good to get that question out of the way beforehand.

    Source(s): Experience
  • 1 decade ago

    Yes it is ok to ask. But remember if hw/she is wanting to have sex with you they will say what ever you what to hear in order to get you into bed. Getting tested with your partner is great, but it takes a few days to get results back so hopefully they are not sleeping around while waiting to get the test results back. My suggestion is to always use a condom no matter what the tests say or he/she says. Besides STD you have to worry about pregnancy which is also with you for the REST of your life and theirs.

    Source(s): RN
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  • 1 decade ago

    Go ahead and start dating, but you should save the std questions until you're far enough into the relationship to be thinking about sex. You don't need to bring it up on the first date.

  • 1 decade ago

    You can ask, but never be sure they are telling the truth.

    You have to put your health and life above their hurt feelings,

    always use protection, and maybe read up on the subject.

  • WELL, BOY OR GIRL,???? IF YOU RESPECT AND WORRY ABOUT YOUR FUTURE HEALTH, AND WANT TO HIT THE BIG TIME , I SURE WOULD NOT BE BASHFUL, ONLY TROUBLE IS , PEOPLE DO LIE JUST TO GET THE JOB DONE.

  • CTC
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Its always safer to ask. U never know if theyll lie to u so always use a condom.

  • Andy S
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    It's not wrong. I wish everybody would do the same.

  • 1 decade ago

    stop worring so much. Just use a condem if you are really that worried about it

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