Do you think it's possible for a gay guy to fall in love with a girl?

I am in love with a gay man. I fell in love with him before I knew he was gay. Do you think that there is a possibility of him falling for me?

I believe that people aren't gay or straight. I believe that people just love who they love, and "gay" people just happen to love people of the same sex more often. In my opinion, I think it is possible for him to change. But what do you think?

DISCLAIMER: When I read over this, I noticed that it could come across as if I am wanting him to be straight because I do not agree with gay people. That isn't the case. I'm not saying that I do not want him to like men. I just don't understand why he can't love me, and if is doesn't work out with me, his next love could be a guy or a girl. Just wanted to make it clear that I have nothing against homosexuality.

14 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It's not a one size fits all situation. Orientation is more of a sliding scale. Most people are between the ends of the scale, but much closer to one end than the other. Some are exclusively homosexual, some are exclusively heterosexual, some are pretty much in the middle. With most people, it is possible to be attracted to someone of a gender other than what they're normally attracted to, the right person at the right time. But their orientation doesn't change, their point on the scale. Nor do people necessarily only "love" one person. Your sweetie may one day love you, but he will always, that is, always, be attracted to other guys. That doesn't make for a stable relationship.

    In short, don't hold your breath. For both your sakes, accept your relationship for what it is and move on.

  • Ian
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I've been on a mailing list for wives of gay husbands (the wife not knowing that her husband was gay when she married him). The stories are generally pretty similar... the guy liked the girl, thought that maybe he could be straight for her, etc, maybe even didn't mind sex (hey, if your own hand can feel good, so can a pussy)... but pretty soon, he became more distant, they had sex less often, the wife starting doubting her own attractiveness, her own ability to be a good wife... then some day she finds out he's gay, either because she catches him cheating, or because of tons of gay porn on the computer, or because he breaks down and tells her. This happens after years of being unhappily married... for some after a couple of years, for others after four decades. Lots of depression and anxiety and all that that could have been avoided if only the guys had realized that they could not be straight, no matter how hard they tried.

    So, if he's gay, and not bi, then please do yourself a favor and find some straight guy to date, because even if you can lure him into dating you, it might be fine for a little while but it won't work out in the end, and everyone is going to be worse off.

    I do agree that people aren't usually 100% straight or gay, so to some degree everyone is bi, but as someone on the wives of gay men list said, her ex husband enjoys sex with women, but doesn't miss it when he doesn't have it, whereas when he doesn't have sex with men, he craves for it. So if he's bi but mostly into men, it's better to just let him find a man. There are plenty of other men out there for you to date who are mostly attracted to women.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It's normal for women to fall in love with gay men, because you get that jolt of similarity. However, life isn't as lucky as you hope it to be, so I'll have to say that there's no chance of him changing.

    You can pray, try hypnosis, or do a voodoo ritual, but there really isn't anything possible that would have him fall in love with you back, unless he's actually straight or bisexual and you just don't know about it.

  • No.

    I have a gay friend who is really close to this one girl and they would be perfect for each other, aside from the fact that he's sexually attracted to males and not sexually attracted to females. So yes he does love her, but there is nothing sexual about it. At least on his side.

    There is no possibility of him falling for you. He is gay. He likes guys. By definition, this means he does not find females sexually attractive, otherwise he'd be bi. It does not matter what you believe. You can believe that a sheep has five legs because it's tail is a limb all you want. But it doesn't make it true. In the end, sheep have four legs and a tail.

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  • reme_1
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    If he is GAY and not Bisexual, you are hoping for the moon. He can love you like a very close friend-- but not how you want.

    It is not that gay people liketheir own sex more often; they only like their own sex for possible partners. And forget about changing him. That happens in movies. Sorry.

  • 1 decade ago

    I've been in a similar situation, but the other way around. When I came out as gay, a girl friend of mine told me she really liked me. While I could never be with a woman as a girlfriend, she and I became best friends. =) If you really enjoy his company, then it might be best to build a strong friendship rather than hope that he'd want to pursue something more sexual in nature.

  • 1 decade ago

    It's possible . . . of course it's possible, and it's happened before (although never by conscious will- I know of nobody who was able to change because they wanted their sexuality to change).

    But having said that- you need to get over it. Wishing for the minuscule chance that he might be one of the ones who could fall for a woman is a surefire way to leave you broken-hearted, waiting, lonely, and in the end, bitter and jaded.

    Let it go, my dear, and find the other [straight] fish in the sea.

  • 1 decade ago

    Perhaps he might want to 'muck around' with you after a few drinks but if he's gay theres a very, VERY slim chance of you getting with him. You need to drop this hope and move on to find someone who will love you as much as you love them

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i'm not sure. i love a gay guy too. At times I thought there was something between us..but maybe I took the signs wrong? idk..he has a gay partner too. it might be possible, just make sure yall have a "moment" and then he's yours. my guy probably wont work out though cuz he's a lot older..

  • 1 decade ago

    I say its possible bra, i've seen it on the Maury Show, Tira banks Show, and all those shows that have to deal with sex, love, lies, and cheating

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