Tacky to have a second baby shower?

My coworker is throwing a baby shower for herself, this is her second baby (it's going to be a girl), her first girl is 18 months, she is registered, and...... she wrote in the invitation. "you are welcome to have a side dish or a dessert" .

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Very tacky. A baby shower was created for new mothers only...so that women who were already mothers could bring her the things that she'll need to basically show her what she's going to need and help her to get started.

    I guess in todays world, it's okay to be a gift-grabber. "Every baby is special" or whatever. But the shower was not meant for the baby, it was meant to help a new mother get started in her motherly duties. Thats it. And then for her to ask to bring food???? Gross!!! Lack of every good manner I can think of.

    UNLESS, that is, she is struggling. This would be the ONLY time I'd over look this.

  • Jm e
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    This is extremely tacky and down-right rude. And I don't agree with the other answers, a baby shower was meant to be held for the first baby only. Having a second child shouldn't matter whether it is the same gender or not, showers were meant for the first baby only, period. And a shower is meant to be given by someone else, NOT in her family, and nobody should ever be throwing themselves any type of shower! And then on top of it, she wants guests to bring food! That is the most low class thing I have ever heard of. Maybe that is the way they throw a shower in her trailer park, but the rest of the world has better manners than that.

    I wouldn't be caught dead attending such an event. And it is my guess that her family is outraged by her wanting a second shower and they refuse to throw her one.

  • 1 decade ago

    My personal feeling is that it's pretty tacky to have a second full-out baby shower when you've recently had your first. Unless, as someone said, she's really on the ropes. More appropriate is a "baby sprinkle" or a diaper shower where guests bring a pack of diapers and get entered into a prize drawing. Or to simply throw a party where your guests can come celebrate the baby with you and forgo the gifts part.

    And, she's asking you to bring food as well? Meh. She'll probably have a lot of "can't come"s.

  • julz
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I don't understand what it meant by "you are welcome to have a side dish or dessert." Does this mean that she is granting you permission to bring food on top of the privilege of buying her a present, or does it mean that you will be graciously allowed to eat a small bit of food while at the shower? Either way, that was not the way to mention that; you don't discuss the food in the invitation.

    I won't bother addressing how tacky it is to throw yourself a shower because everybody else already said it.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Here are all the etiquette rules she is breaking:

    1. Custom is generally you only get one shower. These days though, it isn't uncommon to have a shower for each baby...it is seen as a chance to celebrate the new baby, and most people are okay with that, although a second shower is usually a much more casual affair.

    2. One must NEVER NEVER throw a party for themselves. You may as well just tell people, "give me gifts because I deserve them."

    3. You never tell a guest that they are restricted in what they may eat at a party. I can't believe the audacity of the woman.

    This is what I would do with this invitation: I would hand it back to her, and tell her that you aren't at all worthy of the honor of bringing her a gift in return for a slice of cake. Use the invitation for some other sucker.

  • 1 decade ago

    I do believe it's tacky to throw yourself a shower, especially when the other child is just 18 mos and the same gender.

    If there are a few years between babies, or the gender is different, and you need to replace items you've either gotten rid of or are no longer in decent condition, I see no reason not to have a shower.

    Regardless, I do think it's in bad taste for your friend to host it herself. A friend or relative should have done it for her - but likely no one offered because of the situation, as in, no one thought she really needed it.

  • 1 decade ago

    Buick is absolutely correct. One may give a "rent party" for oneself, where there is a clear monetary transaction involved, however one should not give a shower for a member (or soon to be member) of ones own family. It is greedy. I suggest that you manage to be very busy that work day, with out of office errands to run on your lunch break. And since you are so busy, you will have to decline this invitation.

  • BG
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Very tacky, especially the throwing it for herself part. Sheesh!

    Edit: Tacky beyond belief. I find myself continuing to think about this, and had to come back and say again how wrong this is.

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes.. it is tacky when you are having a girl and you already have one. Now if she was pregnant with a boy that is a different story, but all she is doing is trying to get as much free stuff as possible. And throwing the shower herself is even worse!

  • 53108
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Not tacky to have a shower for the second baby. The way she's going about it is definitely tacky, though. You don't throw yourself a party, for one...for another, it just says something when she put "you are welcome to...". That just screams belittlement to me. Like she's telling you you can have this...like charity or something. I can see why she's throwing her own shower.

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