How To Tell Parents About First Boyfriend? [Need Understanding People]?

So I'm 14 and he's 16. He'll be turning 17 in december and I'll be turning 15 in January. I've never had a boyfriend before and don't really talk about guys in front of my parents. I'm a good girl, good grades, stays out of trouble. But I just have a feeling when they find out how he looks and how old he is, that they'll freak out. I think of myself mature for my age though, and I don't see our age difference as that big of a problem.

Let me explain to you my parents and my boyfriend who've I've been with for a couple of weeks.

Mom: Doesn't want me to have a boyfriend. Only because she had one [same one] thru all 4 years of high school and he made her life a living h*ll. He'd never let her hang out with friends. But she needs to see that not all guys are the same.

Dad: Knows I'm not one who likes to give hugs or be touched. ;] Based on the way my bf looks he'd probably have major deja vu. His first daughter, my older sister, had a boyfriend who looks sorta like him, and lets just say he wasn't that good of a guy, and she had a kid with him.

Finally My Boyfriend: His personality over me is protective but not controlling. He's very sweet and opens up to me. He'd never pressure me into doing anything I didn't want to do. He really really likes me and is so sure that our relationship we'll last a long time. He really wants me to tell my parents about him. =]

His Looks&Habits: Okay so he's a lil taller than me, skinny but muscular. He has a total of like 5 tattoos. One is going to be very noticeable because its on his wrist. I like them, and dont see anything bad about tattoos, just a way of expressing yourself. He has a very bad habit, smoking. He knows its bad 4 him and he says hes trying to quit. He also has a tad of a drinking problem, again going to quit.

Please don't judge him, I know his true self. He's not a bad guy you just have to get through the habits and tattoos. He's been through a lot and trying to put his life back on the right track. My parents won't be knowing of all his habits, but I'm pretty nervous about the tattoos.

How do I tell them!?

Thank you so so so much.

13 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    ahh, its really easy for me to relate to you because i'm 14 too and it was real difficult to tell my parents about my 16 year old boyfriend.

    well, i personally think, that if you have a good relationship with your parents and you find it easy to talk to them about anything, plan a date to bring your boyfriend home, say saturday? and tell your parents about it on thursday or friday.

    start off with saying you need to tell them about things that are going on in your life, and let them know that you and your boyfriend seem to be moving at a slow pace and you know right from wrong, so to please accept who he is and just dont make him feel so awkward when they meet ;)

    but hunny, just make sure you realize he's 17. hes a little bit more experienced with girls, and dont ever let him overpower you, you say now that he wont pressure you into doing anything you dont want to, but just dont get too comfortable with that idea. do you get what im trying to say?

    hope i helpeddd:)

    Source(s): meeeeeee
  • 1 decade ago

    I also considered myself to be very mature for my age at 14. Looking back I still think I was, but I also realize how naive I was at that age. In your teens two years can make a really big difference. And just so you know I also had a boyfriend at 14 that was two years older than me. I had fun but I'm glad it didn't turn out too serious. You have plenty of time left for "serious".

    What worries me the most about your bf is the drinking. That's tough stuff. My mother has a drinking problem and she is a sweet person also, but don't ever think for a second you can be the person that can fix their problem. They have to have a deep deep desire to overcome it and even if they do, it's a lifelong battle not to fall back into old habits...

    I think it's great he wants to meet your parents. Tell them! It would be a a good start for them to know he's interested in meeting your family and not just having fun with you. I think the best way to settle your parents nerves about your bf is for him to just meet them. They'll get a feel for what kinda guy he is, and if they still worry, maybe they have good reason. Just remember they're looking out for you. If they didn't care, they wouldn't freak. So maybe freaking isn't all bad.

    Anyway, just remember to have fun in your teens and that's what boyfriends should be. Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well Honestly .. Your Parents Might Not Approve Of Him Because Your 14 And He 16 And He Drinks And Smokes Alot Alreadi .. If Anything .. Leave The Drinking And Smoking Out When You Introduce Him To Your Parent ..

  • 1 decade ago

    Slowly squirm it into conversations. I was the same way with my parents when I had my first real boyfriend, and it was fine. I was actually 15 though and he was 19! Ha, I thought my parents would flip, but they were actually okay with it as long as they met him and he treated me well. They trusted me, and if you're really as good of a kid as you're making it sound, your parents will probably trust your judgement too. Ask them if its ok if a "boy you really like" picks you up to take you to the movies. They'll inevitably ask questions, just make him sound like the good guy he is. :)

    ps... you might want to leave out the tatoo's part when you tell them about him... just a work of advice.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Tell your parents exactly that. Minus the drinking and smoking parts. That he is very nice, he watches out for you, and that you both really like each other.

    Warn them about the tattoos first.

    And just simply ask for your parents to give him a chance.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i'm 15 myself, and my parents won't let me date. i talk to my mom sometimes about guys. my dad has a daughter, who is my half sister, who got preganant at 15 and he doesn't want me to get preggo. i know exactly what your going through. my mom trusts me a whole whole lot. so, when i started to hang out with this guy, i stayed at home and showed my mom we wouldn't have sex or get in trouble.

    just go to your mom, and simply say: i'm fourteen, and you know im not gonna get pressured into anything. if he does, i'll stay aaway. i'll tell you important things about it to (ha yeah right.) i said that and it worked pretty good (:

    stay home for a couple dates, to show your parents how mature you'll be. tell your mom some things so she won't get suspicious.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    if you tell your parents, dont make him look like someome he is not. if you really like him and think that your relationship is serious and you feel comfortable telling your parents then do it. they may be mad and upset with you but they will understand over time. as long as they see that you are not changing into someone your not and that he is not hurting you or pressuring you in any way then they will understand. they may not like him but they will eventually accept him.

  • 1 decade ago

    you should tell your parents that he's a relly god friend and invite him over for dinner or something and then after they know him a lil more than tell them you guys are going out or maybe they'll just figure it out and also no one should be judged by their apperance.

  • 1 decade ago

    your parents are gonna freak! most likely they wont approve of him at all.

    and please listen to me when i say, girlfriend!, it doesnt matter what he seems like or what he tells you, if he has a "tad" of a drinking problem and he smokes, your really can't count on him to quit! drinking can lead to abuse of girlfriends and him smoking around you can seriously damage your lungs! not to mention yellow teeth on his part and bad breath.

    personally, for your safety, i would break up with him.

  • 1 decade ago

    Your parents will only want whats best for you.

    You dont have to tell them now...

    Tell them when you are ready to go beyond talking..

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