Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

Please Rate My Poem...?

I know a guy who's name is Jim

I love to throw tomatoes at him

Tomatoes are soft and don't harm the skin

But these ones do

Cos they're still in the tin

This is my first attempt at poetry, do you think I have a future?

Any tips?

30 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    BRILLIANT!!!!!!FFAF has nothing on you my poetic friend.

  • 1 decade ago

    If I had a scale from 1 to 10 I would maybe pick a 4.Yea I think you have a chance of poetry in your future.You can make many poems and just keep writeing them and look online if there are things you can do to be a poet.You might can start writeing songs to because alot of poetry turns into songs or songs turn into poetry so if this is dream keep following it!

  • 1 decade ago

    That is a beautifle poem :)

    i think you have a future of poetry!

    i think its really funny "still in the tin"

    lol nice!

    10/ 10 great start!!

    cant wait to buy the first the first book!

    Source(s): i am your #1 fan :)
  • 1 decade ago

    I think its great. that certainly doesn't sound like a first attempt. it follows a five line pattern quite nicely. the rhythm is flawless and the rhyme is fine. the only thing thats a little weird about it is the word choice in line three. I give it a 9 out of 10

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  • 1 decade ago

    Are the tomatoes Creole? lol

    Those should only be eaten, not thrown or tinned! lol

    Seriously, Creole Tomatoes are a delicacy here in New Orleans.....so awesome!

    As far as your poetry.....you need to write about ♥love♥.......you'd be great!

    ♥♥♥

  • 1 decade ago

    Mr. T, I didn't know you were such a poet!

    Yea, I think you can have a future with it, my tips would be (this is what helps me when I write something) pick a bunch of words and write them on a piece of paper, and you can use those words to kinda guide what you are writing. Thats only if I have to write something big, though.. not a short poem like this.

    keep at it :-)

  • Darbz
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    It short and sweet

    a common treat

    food fights

    buy the rights

    Tin might harm the skin.

    I give us both a 5. But it's cute!

  • My tip: If you could expound on whether the tomatoes are diced or cubed it would help the imagery. Other than that I 'see' your very bright future.

  • 1 decade ago

    Your a poet

    And you know it

    I hope you don't blow it.

    I think Bob Dylan

    Said That

    keep up the great work

    take care

    dave

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    ummmmm nice so far.

    you might need to edit it a little.

    add a little meter (rythm) like try to make the verses the same or around the same syllables

    i would say 1-10 a 7!

  • 1 decade ago

    I Give it a 8.5, Nice job good for a first try. Yes you could have a future. tips: rhyme it more! and make it long ;P

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